iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

the dog usually rides in the front seat except for when he’s pissed about something and then he sits in the back seat and acts like I’m his uber driver or some shit

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Pandy Fackler 🍂 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I ordered a large pizza bc it was on sale. Yelled "it's here!" when the delivery person showed up so they won't know I'm alone with a large pizza

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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

this is who you had to buy weed from before legalization

Still from the first teenage mutant ninja turtles showing Ralph in his very effective disguise he used to go see critters at the theater

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 28/04/2026

if hamburger helper then surely hot dog collaborator

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I got the Covid vaccine and sure enough five years later sent a text to the wrong person

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Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I guess yelling, "I DON'T EVEN LIKE CORN MAZES!" is like a secret password that gets you escorted to wherever you want to go.

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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 28/09/2026

my bebé’s favorite thing to do is to stop doing the thing i’m trying to record her doing

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Yes, obviously it's a tuxedo t-shirt. We're at a wedding, Sharon.

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 28/09/2026

How did netflix know I would want to hear the intro song 100 decibels louder

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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

imagine being partnered up with me… no, more disappointment

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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Airplane Intercom: This is your Cap'n speaking. Oops! All berries

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Ever walk into a tomb and forget why you went in there?

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SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I could go to sleep but unfortunately I’m committed to making tomorrow worse for me and everyone involved

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spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

The inability to deal with any of this shit in me recognizes the inability to deal with any of this shit in you.

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key @lefttwix.com · 26/09/2026

yea, the boys 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 back in town but they left when they heard you were coming

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key @lefttwix.com · 27/09/2026

me: *says something to husband while blow drying my hair* also me: *confused and slightly irritated that i can’t hear his response over my blow dryer*

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Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

If you’re not shoehorning life’s foibles into little ditties only you can understand, are you even really living life bro?

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Imagine dying and getting to the river styx then seeing a QR code

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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

in the song Mr. Brightside, are they saying “jealousy” or “jell-o sea”? it’s hard to tell.

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Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Hotel California because I want a guitar solo that I can whistle.

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Amy @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

my toxic trait is enumerating all my toxic traits for you before we even have coffee together

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spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

The brain is very complex but also extremely dumb

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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

It’s okay if not everyone procreates. Like really okay. Like really really really okay.

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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

"Forever" stamps are starting to feel like an overpromise. This government seems temporary at best

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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

I may have a lot of regrets, but I also have room for so many more

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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

HR says I need to stop referring to my coworkers as mortals. This feels like discrimination against high deities.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

A whisk is not a very good sex toy, if we’re being honest.

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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊 @professorkiosk.wtf · 27/09/2026

me: *trying to fall asleep* my brain: shouldn’t the singular of dice be douse

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nige [ham] @sensualdad.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

it’s only a crime of passion if i’m committing it

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Fulkery Monkery @fulkery.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I need to find that one porn video with the shower tile I really liked.

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Pumpkin Escobar @kingmonkeysunkle.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

It gives me no great pleasure to point out that you're a complete knob.

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 25/09/2026

I had DoorDash deliver a bottle of water in the middle of an interview.

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Shoot for the moon, I always say, a decent amount of those guys don’t die in horrific nationally-televised explosions

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Once you reach the age where you’re “glad it’s raining, we could use it” you’re gonna need a real solid personality if you ever want to have sex again

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Nate's Myth @natesmith.dev · 26/09/2026

*walks into interview* interviewer: (smugly) well I'm glad to see you didn't bring an iced coffee ... but who's your friend? me: oh this is my barista

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Pru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I wonder if Kermit the Frog has a very humble doppelganger named Kermit a Frog

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J🌲K E @guess-what.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

ME: *meeting a baby, foolproof* they look like a combination of both of you

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Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

One time, I self edited. That shit was fucking bonkers.

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Strughoulo @struggalo.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I hate billionaires, but if any of them are hiring life-sized chess pieces I'd probably be down.

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BlobStarrrr @blobstar.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Are you causing chaos or is chaos causing you?

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SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Shitposting the gospel

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I don’t know much about horses and I know even less about being stable.

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Beyond Twilight @reed-ikulas.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

You know what that feeling of impending doom is? Impending doom.

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Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Cap’n Crunch’s OOPS! All Societal Collapse®

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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

As I get older and injure myself more and more, I wish I had paid attention to first-aid in class instead of writing shit in Metallica font on notebook covers

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Lizzlepants 🐒 @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

if I can’t bring my favorite cat to the job interview I’m not goin

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Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

the future is great my toilet needs 2 factor authentication before I can shit

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Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

started to use the term "big emotions" with my autistic daughter and she's really taken to it. I asked if they are happy or sad emotions and she just answers "too big" which makes sense because sometimes emotions are too big to tell exactly what they are and adults need that granular description

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

[Elizabeth Holmes Voice]: I’m Batman.

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James @james.tarnation.lol · 24/09/2026

i don’t think anyone should be able to make me their emergency contact

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