iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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One nice thing about aging is I can finally start a collection of the lenses my friends are having replaced when they go in for their cataract surgeries.

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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 16h

them: when exactly did you become so jaded me: around the time i stopped wearing candy necklaces

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 15h

I'm but a humble jumble of 7x10²⁷ atoms that has to use the restroom occasionally.

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👻 L.T. Vargus, disgraced author👻 @ltvargus.bsky.social · 20h

welcome to middle age you have a favorite ibuprofen tablet style now

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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 23h

Making a band that you like your entire personality is so lame. Just ask my kid, Champagne Supernova.

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𝔏𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔏𝔬𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢 @fleurkenstein.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Broke up with my medieval bf because he keeps placing pennies on my eyes anytime I sleep more than 4 hrs

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 29/09/2026

Calling up my friends in 1996: Want to go to the mall and hang out at the food court? Talking to myself in the mirror in 2026: Want to go to Costco and hang out at the food court?

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👻 Ghoul Named Cru 🦇 @carnitas.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

saw ur beau in the towne square hoisted by their own petard again

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James Damron @runswindows95.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

When I die, please remove my buttplug.

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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

On Tuesdays, we flounce.

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

holding rapists accountable is so sexy

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

*sound of bone-saw, clanking chains, the wind moans through the trees and so begin the hollow voices of the damned* I'm just burning doing the neutron dance

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 29/09/2026

I like the QT coffee notification placement with my Edward Hopper’s Nighthawks phone background.

A QT gas station coffee ad push notification layered over a crop of the painting Nighthawks by Edward Hopper.

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Wondervamp Jenny 🦇 @galacticpotlady.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

My antlers? They’re always there, but they change color in the fall.

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 29/09/2026

“Not my circus. Not my monkeys,” said the thinly disguised circus owner after a string of monkey-involved bank robberies.

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A.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

There’s a 98% chance that my dog is going to excite-pee when he sees me, and only slightly lesser odds that I will when I see him.

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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊 @professorkiosk.wtf · 29/09/2026

dennis leary is the david spade of joe pescis

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

If you don't have a bluesky nemesis that doesn't even know that they're your bluesky nemesis, I hope you at least have friends in real life to keep you company.

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

A WEREWOLF WHO TURNS ON THE WAXING CRESCENT MOON: Haha guys i just realized what tonight is and we kinda need to solve this escape room faster

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 28/09/2026

Hey, babe. Let's play 2 foods and a lie. I'll go first. 1. Tamales 2. Cherry pie 3. There's nothing you can do that would make me stop loving you.

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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Your baby's cute, but have you ever heard a chihuahua snoring?

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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Adélie penguins literally waddle across Antarctica to find the perfect pebble for their soulmate, but thanks for putting your dirty bowl in the dishwasher.

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

If by no ads, you mean all ads, we got you. All for the low low price of $109.99.

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Are you an Infinite Jest person or are you a House of Leaves person

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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

me: why can't you just play along it's not like you have to actually do anything just stop being such a pain in the arse my boot laces:

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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I simply couldn't, so I did not.

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Amy @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

barflies in your area just wanna land on your nuts and rub their forelegs together

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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Pulled a hammy exercising my restraint again.

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 26/09/2026

It's really comin down out there (civilization)

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

In this house we practice kindness and ritual sacrifice.

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 26/09/2026

How I feel when I play minesweeper

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

when I get a repost or a follow and I look at your timeline and it's all really hot and fucked up people, I feel as though I've arrived.

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Wondervamp Jenny 🦇 @galacticpotlady.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Can’t, I don’t have the energy to open the lid to my coffin today.

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Wondervamp Jenny 🦇 @galacticpotlady.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

My crypt is cake. (seductively)

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A.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I don't know that anyone talks shit with such a heightened invention like my mother does to political ads interrupting her shows.

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Nate's Myth @natesmith.dev · 25/09/2026

I bet we will be afraid of our families when we die, bc we are kin dread spirits

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 25/09/2026

I had DoorDash deliver a bottle of water in the middle of an interview.

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

i brought a pitcher of martinis to a job interview and they made me the ceo

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 25/09/2026

Find you someone who will go awkwardly silent with you in the kitchen when someone walks in and then holds up a tiny spatula and says "Sorry, we were having a little spat."

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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Nothing says “please munch my butt” like a man with Dude Wipes in his bathroom.

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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

"Measure twice, cut once," I grunt, as I realise your legs won't fit in the freezer.

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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Growing my leg hair out for the end times.

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 25/09/2026

The NY Times has released its list of the Top 100 TV Shows of the 21st Century. It is now time for people of quiet, comfortable lives to stand up and fight over the minutiae of which show should be ranked where as if their lives depend on it.

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

"One foot, two foot, lead foot, glue foot," my mother, who was a horse, used to threaten me.

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 25/09/2026

I hope Whalefall turns into a franchise where the same guy gets stuck in a different animal each movie.

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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

you can have after dinner mints before dinner you can have after dinner mints for lunch you can have after dinner mints for breakfast you can have after dinner mints as a midnight snack you can- well i think the point has been made and now i'm going to need some after dinner mints

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

When you say "ratify the contract," I picture a document in a red leather jacket and dusty blond hair that's a party in the front and a sweet rat tail in the back.

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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I love how dogs look at you like you invented the universe, when you really just gave them a piece of cheese.

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