Braden Serkas 🎃 @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 4hHistory is full of firsts. Think of the first cars. The first airplanes. The first telephones. The first elevators. What did these things have in common? They all sucked. This is why it is far more important to be awesome. Remember the first pyramids? The fuck you do 34215
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 14hI will whisper nothings and you can sweeten them to taste. 27937
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 17hI’m too highbrow to send dick pics. Mine are phallus photos. 87928
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 02/03/2025Yoda: marijuana? Yoda’s girlfriend: oh my god yes! we’re gonna have such an amazing wedding— Yoda: *long drag* fucked up I have 11617124
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 6hThis day in history. 1916. Canadian Pte. James Richardson earned a Victoria Cross for parading in front of the enemy playing the bagpipes inspiring his comrades to capture a German entrenchment. He was shot dead of course, you can't expect men raised on Brahms to tolerate the old dudelsack for long. 23414
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 01/03/2025Your email finds me well yet anxiously awaiting the next full moon when I will once again transform into a werewolf and gorge on an unsuspecting villager. 617079
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃ɐʇǝǝɹʎs @phantomsspleen.bsky.social · 8hWe still have our messy emotions. Our clumsy touch. 12816
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃stinky doug @pogue.omg.lol · 13hmy step sister just snuck into my bedroom and wants me to teach her esoteric knowledge from the lesser key of solomon? but i'm her step brother, that doesn't sound right. she might tell mom. 0112
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 10hNo matter how done you are, whatever it is can always be more complete. Trust in your outfit and keep adding layers. Or be open to removing layers. I may be partial now but trust any amounts of my nudity 23828
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 06/10/2026it’s too late for you, donate your hopes and dreams to science 516472
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 07/10/2026maybe there should be some shame in your game, bro 18941
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 11/07/2024So cool how we're all on the same insomnia schedule now 917763
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Braden Serkas 🎃 @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 06/01/2025DJ: can y’all feel the noise? ME: *shouting over club music* I’M NOT SURE I’VE EVER REALLY FELT ANYTHING 619256
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 15/09/2025There are probably 51 Ways to Leave Your Lover bc you could prob just send them that song and that would be a pretty good hint. 817735
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 29/12/2025Man, fairy tale-era stepmom pussy must’ve been hella good to be having dads agree to leave their kids in the woods and shit. 617435
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 11hAnthony Kiedis showed up at my house and ate all my Arby’s. 128228
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Kellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Face down ass up.. me putting on socks 312337
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 10hThe last person who called me a coward wound up in a hospital. Shingles, I think. 28219
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 15hoh i'll do it don't think i won't do it (release the drafts) 03718
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 15hwaking from a beautiful dream and clinging to the feelings it left behind like my life depends on it 25724
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 15hthe same motherfuckers who complain the loudest about someone dropping the ball are never there to catch it themselves 04916
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃the hype @thehyyyype.bsky.social · 15/12/2024becca: [fries beans] rebecca: [refries beans] 10553103
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Evie Nyx @evienyx7.bsky.social · 07/10/2026I hooked up with someone who after the deed, pulled out a guitar and started singing aggressively at the wall. I would have dove out of the window in his room if there wasn't one of those decorative grates on the outside. 1410111
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃karanormal activity 💜 @deadontheoutside.bsky.social · 06/10/2026coroner: it appears the subject died of multiple tab wounds 1347197
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 11h[during sex] This is the bed Grandpa died in 2333363
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃richie @theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 13/09/2026gaslighting myself for kicks again 04322
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃richie @theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 23hmy life as one big unforced error 12015
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 15hone time in 3rd grade I thought I'd be funny and I brought a harmonica to school because typically by afternoon I'd be kicked out of class to sit in the hallway. I thought it'd be funny to play the harmonica in the hallway like it was a jail cell 1/ 35016
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Whenever I drive past the psychic's empty parking lot, I think, if I was psychic I would only be open on the days I knew people were coming. 419094
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Imagine there’s no heaven, It's easy if you look around 623655
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 20/11/2024is the alarm meant to wake you or is it to warn you that you are now awake 251029177
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃dan mentos @danmentos.com · 10hpilot on intercom: folks I’m so high right now haha just a little airline humor copilot: sir we’re still at the gate 0664
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Mal a BOO 👻 @hallowedverses.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Sure, love yourself and all that, but does that have to include listening to our own voice in a recording? 89928
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃🎃Jennifer Sistrunk🎃 @jennisis42.bsky.social · 04/10/2026We could summon the dark forces, or we could, (hear me out) order Chinese takeout. 23013
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Ruth Burger @ammtuesday.bsky.social · 10hLet us smoke the dope weed and dance around in our best Stevie Nicks shawl. 0103
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Skellyton 🦇 @infinitefinite.blog · 13hokay but when I said "ravage me," I wasn't talking to time, and yet 28132
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃raindro g but spooky @raindro.bsky.social · 10hi’ve never seen a dog i wouldn’t chili 082
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 10hcoin collectors should be called coinnoisseurs 815043
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 10hwhen you die all the jokes you forgot before you could post them flash before your eyes 917940
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Kellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 17hFinish your plate, there are people starving for attention 115661
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Kellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 14hI would like to upgrade my nap to a medically induced coma 1015061
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Mary Gillis @marygillis.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Putting a bottle or can of pop in the freezer to cool it quickly and assuming you'll pull it out before it explodes is known as 'the devil's fizzy wager.' 731495160
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 10h[shipwreck diary] Day 1: The island is deserted Day 2: I shall devote every waking moment to my survival Day 3: I tried to fuck a coconut 512019
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃KnewNic🖕🏼🧊 @knewagirlnic.bsky.social · 22hClimbs into the air fryer basket just to feel something 06425
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃KnewNic🖕🏼🧊 @knewagirlnic.bsky.social · 17hOnly men with tiny dicks dox women. Allegedly. 1269
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃anton lestrange @hugemclarge.bsky.social · 14hcargo shorts season lasts until your nose hairs freeze when you walk outside. 0124
Reposted by Braden Serkas 🎃Blather Wince Repeat @blatherwincerepeat.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Revenge is best served with melted Gorgonzola atop potato gnocchi on a bed of caramelized radicchio. Assuming you’re retaliating against the fall dinner doldrums. 12110