iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 23h

jesus christ vox READ THE FUCKING ROOM

Screenshot of an unopened email in my inbox from "Rachel W. Miller, Vox" with the subject heading "Does my pet have a soul?"

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

This @mcsweeneys.net piece by @julieklausner.bsky.social is a 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 example of "you can joke about anything without being an asshole." It's an A++ piece that manages to be hilarious without being shitty to Covid-conscious people or queer people CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE?! Most people cannot!! 👴🏻🍫

mcsweeneys.net

Grandpa Joe from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Has Something to Say About This Massachusetts Lesbian Bar Situation

“I figured it was about time for me, a white cisgender heterosexual man over seventy with cabbage scraps in his mustache, to weigh in on this matter.”

3214

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

if i hear someone say "let's talk about it" or "we need to have a conversation about" in a front-facing video i become activated like a sleeper agent but for throwing myself off my balcony

180

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

*to the tune of Closing Time* 🎶 Holding paws 🎶

a smol dachshund-mix snoozing in his bed while a hand holds one of his little paws

0182

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

'scuse me i am trying to change the sheets

a smol dachshund-mix sitting tangled up in a mass of bedsheets

2303

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

holy shit i just face-to-face confronted the amazon driver who has been stealing my packages for literal MONTHS and i hate conflict sooo much that i am now experiencing this terrible adrenaline high that feels like i just did meth (i'm guessing; i have never actually done meth)

2160

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Pierro does *not* like wearing any form of clothing but as Halloween approaches I cannot stop thinking about dressing him up as a li'l piece of sushi and then I imagine a giant trying to eat him and me saying "No, Mr. Giant! That is not really sushi THAT IS MY DOG!! 😫" (I am still unemployed btw)

Overheard shot of a smol dachshund-mix doing a semi-sploot that shows exactly why he would look SO adorable dressed up as a piece of sushi

3172

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Okay; even I can admit that this one is a little dark. But I guess that's just where I am in my Artistic Process 🙏

Screenshot of a robotext message that reads:

Hi, it's Action Research. We'd like to include your opinions on current issues in California.

Can you answer a few questions and tell us what you think?

Start here: https://action-research.net/93633239798011

Reply STOP to opt out

Below it, I have replied:

Oh, hey! I'd love to do this, but unfortunately I'm a bit tied up at the moment as I have a loaded shotgun in my mouth and am seconds away from blowing my brains out. Timing, amirite?!? 🤣 Before I splatter my brains all over my she shed, though, how 'bout you promise to never fucking text me ever again?

290

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

me: clicks "Stay signed in on this device" 🙂 my device: F̶̢̯͎͖̭̔͛͜͜Ų̴̢̛̟̫̝̦̱̟͍̏̄̚Ć̷͓͛̈͋̀͝͝K̷̛̟̞̻̘͈̀̀͛͊̋̎ ̵̛͉̀̅̆̇̚Ỏ̷͉̩̹͉̥̠̿̃͑͂́F̷̨̙̫̗̎̿̚F̷̼͛̀͒̐ ̶̭͉̟̙͍̆̑̀̽̍̍À̷̰̙̯̻̠͂̋̓̓͋Ň̶̹͆̽Ḍ̶̼̣̜͗ ̸̜̦̓͊͂D̷̢̹̤͉̰̯̞͊͒͆͌̏̉́̃Ì̶̢̼̳̦̜͍̙̻̂̊͒̑͝͝Ě̶̺̯͎̗̋̀̒̏́͐͂͘̕

090

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

*at my Olivia Newton-John themed wedding, tears in my eyes*: I Xana-do 🥹

152

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

oh yeah looks like everything's going great

The headline "Dave Grohl and wife Jordyn present united front at 2026 VMAs after baby revelation rocked marriage" above a red carpet photo where Dave Grohl has his arm around his wife and is looking at her apprehensively while she stands stiff as a fucking bored and looks completely off camera with dead eyes THE PICTURE-PERFECT IMAGE OF A HAPPY MARRIAGE!!!

260

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

babe i'm sorry i said you "looked tired" in your flock camera photo can i please come back to bed

071

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Finally saw the premiere of GBBO and I am 100% on board with Nigella Lawson. She says bonkers shit and used the word "savage" twice in the episode. She has the voice of a drunk dowager but the face and body of a sexy cougar. She was made in the same factory as Rachel Weisz but on a different floor.

0392

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Uh oh! Someone is having Big Feelings™ 🥺 Very funny to post this and not realize that *you* are living in a bubble if you still think that a song being #1 on the Billboard "hot" charts means everybody will hear it. Pop culture (and specifically music) has not worked that way for at least a decade.

4250

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Someone from Rolling Stone just showed up at my apartment to tell me I wrote and recorded a song called "Pissin' on the Libs" that's currently #7 on the Country charts and #2 on Adult Contemporary?? They handed me a royalty check?! I have no recollection of ever doing this.

1120

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Just gave myself a migraine thinking about the discourse that would have ensued if social media had existed when In & Out was released.

080

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Okay, genuinely: is this like how people now say "gaslighting" when they just mean "lying," "toxic" when they just mean "being shitty," etc? Has "psyop" become another watered down buzzword? Or do people think that the things they are calling psyops are ACTUAL psyops? Do people know what psyops are?

480

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

"Dr. Pepper was 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘵 for college football!" Literally what are you talking about? That is an insane assertion to make.

150

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Walking into the interview with a cup of my own iced urine to show that I am an alpha

0132

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

It's unrealistic that no adults would ever see the Toy Story toys moving around. They are simply doing too much shit.

080

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Sometimes after I brush Pierro's teeth he'll have an elaborate chew session with a toy later on that night and in my head I'm like "But I already brushed his teeth! 😩" and then I have to remind myself that he regularly eats garbage.

290

Reposted by Lauren Flans

George Monbiot @georgemonbiot.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Here's today's column on the astonishing, ongoing mistreatment of people with #ME/CFS. Please spread it far and wide: the only thing which can break the media's wall of indifference is seeing an article about the issue go viral. Thank you. 1/2 www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

theguardian.com

Abandoned, dismissed and gaslighted: there is no excuse for the way ME sufferers have been betrayed | George Monbiot

Changes in guidance and science seem to have little impact on millions of devastated lives. It’s a social crisis playing out behind closed doors, says Guardian columnist George Monbiot

17925311730

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

When I tell young queer people "know your history," yes, I mean Stonewall and stuff but more specifically I mean the fact that Alice (The Color Purple) Walker's daughter used to date Tracy Chapman and then Alice Walker stole Tracy Chapman FROM HER OWN DAUGHTER and dated her for two years. Know that.

1113

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Today would be a great day to remember that it is wholly possible for two (2) things to be true at the same time! 😃 Sadly, this is a concept that does not allow for a dopamine hit of vitriol akin to heroin, so no one on social media has ever successfully internalized it 😔

160

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Cap’n Crunch’s OOPS! All Societal Collapse®

1355

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

When Pierro's cone flips down like this, I refer to him as "Little Lord Fontleroy." "Oh, hello, Little Lord Fontleroy!" I brightly declare when he enters the room.

a smol dachshund-mix sporting a soft blue cone that has flipped down so that it looks like a ruff that a little lord might wear

3294

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Don't even TALK to me until I've had my coffee*! 😂 *decade of therapy

0130

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

guess who's in a cone again after giving his eye a li'l scritchy-scratch 🥺

a smol dachshund-mix wearing a soft blue cone and looking sooooo cute 🥺

5262

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Rewatching Toy Story for the first time in forever and in retrospect it's so funny that they let a mid-40s Annie Potts voice Bo Peep because you know that today a role like that would go to, like, Zendaya. (This is no shade whatsoever to Zendaya; she and Tom Holland are my favorite heterosexuals.)

4151

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Woke up to Tilly Norwood banging on my door at 4am, drunk and badly slurring. "Tilly," I said, "you have to stop. My neighbors will call the police again." "CALL THE FFRUCKING COPS! I DON CARE!" she yelled through the door. "Tilly," I said. "LEMME IN! I STILL LOVE YOU!" "Tilly," I said, "it's over."

171

Reposted by Lauren Flans

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

i was led to believe there would be a Willennium

092

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

They're reanimating a human corpse.

Screenshot of a headline that reads "A source reveals exactly what's going on with Dakota Johnson and MGK, and it's more intense than anyone thought"

141

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

I wanted to dislike A Toxic Love Story because Netflix keeps churning out these poorly/irresponsibly produced true crime docs and I want to have the moral high ground, but regrettably this one was so BATSHIT BANANAS INSANE that I had no choice but to enjoy it; I'm sorry that I have failed you.

050

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

holy shit i'm sorry i didn't let you lick my yogurt bowl YOU'RE ONLY SUPPOSED TO HAVE PLAIN YOGURT!!! 😭

a smol dachshund-mix sitting on a couch wrapped up in some red plaid pajama pants and giving THE MOST side-eye ever

3111

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Scary album cover aside, this has become Pierro's "calming" record. When he is perturbed (which often happens in between dinner and bedtime), I tell him "We're going to put on your calming album," and I really think it relaxes him!

083

Lauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 17/09/2026