iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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We need a hero story about a woman who gets supernatural powers after going through perimenopause.

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6:30 p.m. (climbing into bed with pizza) (points to pillowcase) Look how much I've gotten done today and it's only lunchtime!

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Harold Lloyd @thecityz.bsky.social · 10h

I'm in a Teams meeting and someone said they're just 'talking out loud here'

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 6h

We should all get together and play solitaire.

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minkitypinkity ❤️ @minkitypinkity.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

sometimes perfectly normal looking people turn out to be fire pissing demons

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A.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

There’s a 98% chance that my dog is going to excite-pee when he sees me, and only slightly lesser odds that I will when I see him.

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Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I talked to some kids about encyclopedias and they thought I was having a stroke

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 12h

This day in history. 2009. Blasphemy Day. A day for celebrating blasphemy launched by the Center for Inquiry. This year I'll be asking religious leaders who try to make their followers believe in a hell why they can't just fold their threat five ways and stick it where the moon don't shine instead.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 8h

She had the voice of an angel. An angel who smokes 2 packs of unfiltered Luckies on the daily.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 6h

“Caregiver” means a person who gives care. Why doesn’t “caretaker” mean someone who takes care away? Just give me one week with the English language and I will make shit right.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 3h

The server stopped by my table and asked how my food was. When I said “Good” she spontaneously did a double fist pump, as though she had just made a game winner at the buzzer. I don’t recall ever loving a job that enthusiastically.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 2h

[at my autopsy; a forensic pathologist speaks into a recording device in a puzzled tone] “I’ve never seen so many apple stickers inside of someone”

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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

On Tuesdays, we flounce.

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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Making a band that you like your entire personality is so lame. Just ask my kid, Champagne Supernova.

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Nadine Antoinette 🖤📚 @lilblackheart.bsky.social · 3h

Writing this book has been a journey of heart, grit, and truth. The Day I Died Again tackles BPD, the stigma, and what it really means to be complex. I can't wait for you all to meet Jordan on October 13th.

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

A porno where he takes her out for a nice meal first but they have to wait too long and they fill up on bread and then have to force down the steak and lobster so his IBS flares up and he spends the evening in the hotel bathroom while she watches Antiques Roadshow. Too sexy?

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Donkey Hotay 💩 @donkee.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

If we’re gonna make this work you’re gonna have to stop talking

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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

what if we made out in the glow of the exterior sconce lighting at Burger King

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NickNackPaddyWhack @radionichole.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Well Unexpected Turn of Events is my middle name

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Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

slipped on a banana peel into a profound melancholy

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Frenchy's After Dark @frenchys-goldau.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

You're looking well; fuck you

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Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I’m all for language evolving but goddam new math.

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snargleplax @snargleplax.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

well, the important thing is that you blame yourself

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Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

They say make yourself at home then get mad when you eat all their cheese

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Brosephine Wires, Perennial Soup-Lover @joparkerbear.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Leaving the grocery store in a daze, like “oh my god what happened in there… where did all these bags come from”

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Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Psycho Killer Qu'est-ce que c'est?

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Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Is counting the number of dead contacts you have in your phone a sign of a midlife crisis?

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key @lefttwix.com · 29/09/2026

do these posts make me look like i have eldest daughter syndrome?

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PhantomDeeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

You wanna make things complicated?

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crabbydaddy dave @crabbydaddy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

the problem with pet fish is you can’t pet fish

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Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I'm not going to lie, would you accept an elaborate excuse instead?

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Melicious @honeybadgermel.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

It’s really hard to get back on the horse when the horse has left the barn.

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Goose, seasonally spiced @augustagoose.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Walking around naked, looking for my reading glasses like a normal person.

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Goose, seasonally spiced @augustagoose.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Remember when Idiocracy was a comedic film and not a reality show?

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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊 @professorkiosk.wtf · 28/09/2026

not my birthday but I’m not gonna let that stop me from eating a whole cake

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Dez Fenton @butisitart.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Thank you, each and all, who have acknowledged my existence on various terrible days.

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Amish Super Model @amishsupermodel.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I only eat free-range tofu.

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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

If you're talking to someone and they say "don't get me started" run, that's a robot

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Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

antifreeze for the brain

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Misery Highlight @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I’d take an earbud out for you.

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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I simply couldn't, so I did not.

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

If by no ads, you mean all ads, we got you. All for the low low price of $109.99.

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Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

You don’t have to tell me twice I zoned out the first time.

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Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I thought I heard a dangerous animal rustling in the woods but fortunately it was just my elderly neighbor who’d fallen into her compost pile

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Before AI comes for us, I need you to know *sound of modem dialup*

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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

nurturing random indignation

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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

me: i suppose you're all wondering why i've gathered you here today insomnia, hot flashes and mood swings: me (opening the car boot): get. in. now.

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Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Movie credits used to be here are the like 17 people who made this including the actors.

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

“It’s the thought that counts.” —mind readers and mathematicians

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