Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Mal @hallowedverses.bsky.social · 6hthe universe is expanding and so is my indifference 15720
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 7has i walk through the hidden valley of the shadow of ranch 1116358
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Misery Highlight @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 14hHow many times can I say fuck in one hour challenge 77324
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒AnnaAnkaAnia @samerealwoman.bsky.social · 4hIt’s that time of the year when I could just go to sleep and wake up in the spring. 1165
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Gretchen von Tongeln @metalligretch.bsky.social · 4hNegotiations with the moth on the blinds have broken down. 0187
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @captantagonist.bsky.social · 7hEver since I was a young boy I dreamed of becoming a virtual ghost emerging from the machine. 0106
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Dak @dak.bsky.social · 1hA shark tooth necklace confirms two things: you once bought a CD single of "Santeria," and you have a condom in your wallet that predates 9/11. 3124
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 13hI have the feeling that some of these people are impervious to our charms 47533
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Canadian Bacon @tashaneedshelp.bsky.social · 21hThe easiest way to make me shut up is to feed me snacks. 1013828
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 13hI'm special. Like that song you put on your playlist and skip every single time it comes up 610622
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Frenchy's After Dark @frenchys-goldau.bsky.social · 12hThis post comes with added bran and B vitamins 21910
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Steve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · 13/07/2023"Have some respect. This is a funeral" *slowly removes giant sombrero revealing smaller yet still pretty big sombrero* 10849207
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 13hI have never washed a pair of jeans. I assume they clean themselves, like ovens or cats. 612430
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒smillz @righttwix.com · 19hif you fall and your friends are concerned instead of laughing then you’re old now 423351
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 13h[at my autopsy; a forensic pathologist speaks into a recording device in a puzzled tone] “I’ve never seen so many apple stickers inside of someone” 719958
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Ambooooorino 👻 @nellieadjacent.bsky.social · 20/08/2026I can't even express how grateful I am that we all don't live in a yellow submarine 810832
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 14hbro, you are not 2 legit and you should quit 919550
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 25/07/2026I'm at my most Raspberry Beret when I walk in through the out door out door 210256
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒crumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026When the going gets tough, I make wisecracks. 03519
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Tippi Hedren Collider @linanneblack.bsky.social · 27/11/2024“This is fine,” I say aloud with a smile, despite still smouldering like a giant sequoia two years after the fire. 15316
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒alexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 13hthe social media ideal is firing off three to five borderline nonsense posts before closing the app and taking a 2 hour nap 913732
Lizzlepants 🐒 @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 13hno rules about having an IPA at your desk at 3:30 in the afternoon when you work from home 🍻 810424
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Making a band that you like your entire personality is so lame. Just ask my kid, Champagne Supernova. 918756
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Edmonds Scanner @edmondsscanner.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Who do you most resemble? 1. famous movie monster 2. beloved cartoon character 3. dangerously weird cryptid 4. someone who loves potatoes 17629
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Blather Wince Repeat @blatherwincerepeat.bsky.social · 22hDoc says Mom’s brittle bones can’t take another fall, so we moved her into a bouncy castle. 02712
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 16hUnlimited texting was great when phone companies first offered it. Now people break up one sentence into 17 messages and I want each text to cost a dollar 37819
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒KnewNic🖕🏼🧊 @knewagirlnic.bsky.social · 29/09/2026If I were a man, I simply would not rape anyone 111731
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Strughoulo @struggalo.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Fool me twice, get re-elected. 1319
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 21hYou don’t need a data center to make spaghetti 2526864
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 21hBut seriously, Canada – we’re gonna need you to take Ted Cruz back. We have the receipt 2317149
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 19hWe are all vampires, in a way 25724
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒harpy @harpy.party · 20hjust had to buy groceries, gas, and motor oil if anyone needs a very expensive blowjob 0256
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 20/09/2026still punk I say as I vow to keep inhaling and exhaling all day today 420877
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Misery Highlight @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 19hThank you for your disinterest 07037
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Gfrancie (Benevolent Siren) @gfrancie.bsky.social · 22hPlease let it be noted that I have finished up a bottle of Worcestershire sauce. 20112832
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Tim 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 18hI don't need a therapist. I need a factory reset button installed on my head. 02514
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒TheeBoneDaddy💀 @theebonedaddy.bsky.social · 16hI wish USAA wouldn't make it so difficult to get into their system to pay a bill, otherwise someone might break in there and pay for my flood insurance. 2104
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒𝔏𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔏𝔬𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢 @fleurkenstein.bsky.social · 22hAlways looking for a chandler but end up with a ross 32912
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 17hI find your lack of silliness seriously disturbing 715162
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Goose, seasonally spiced @augustagoose.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Remember when Idiocracy was a comedic film and not a reality show? 55217
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒✧𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔭✧ @altaudge.bsky.social · 30/09/2026it’s like no one wants to let me run them through with my sword anymore 3315
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Me at some concert: sing some shit I know 49351
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒EMCKAYVEE @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 20hLocal hot Kraft singles wanna stop the world and melt with you 1313330
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Just brushed my cat and it produced enough fur to cover 6 bald cats. 312029
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Brie @brielikethechhes.bsky.social · 22hJust quit my job by throwing my iced latte at that dude from HR 25314
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒mr coffee @i.n33d.coffee · 13/01/2025Be the counterfeit moon rock dealer you want to see in the world. 22816
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 28/09/2026When does Rod Serling come out to explain that this is just a parable about Hell? 215560
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 21hthe problem with friends is that most of the time they turn out to be enemies 02611
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 29/09/2026I talked to some kids about encyclopedias and they thought I was having a stroke 37730
