Reposted by LizzyGrant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 15/04/2025Me: KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME, SON Son: [gets stretchered off field 5 min later] Me: DON’T TRUST OLD IDIOMS, SON 218185
Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 4hNot to get political but being apolitical it's a huge red flag 26714
Reposted by LizzyFun @funkelly.bsky.social · 23/04/2026anyone got any indistinguishable pills rolling around the bottom of your purse you need me to try? 2428159
Reposted by LizzySpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · 4hI am calmly observing my own catastrophic behaviours 27721
Reposted by Lizzy(spoo)key @lefttwix.com · 5h[takes a drag of a cigarette] i reckon i used to shitpost but now i just post shit 14216
Reposted by Lizzy𝔊𝔬𝔱𝔥 ℭ𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱𝔯𝔶 𝔅𝔲𝔣𝔣𝔢𝔱 @shadowham.bsky.social · 01/10/2026some of my drink went down the wrong tube. that tube is cheesecake only 0166
Reposted by LizzyMr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 10/12/2023*playing the tuba outside your window at 3am I just wanted you to know that everyone thinks you’re kind of a cunt. 613361
Reposted by LizzyJon Baker @thejonbaker.bsky.social · 23/11/2024I put my pants on the same way as everyone else: very reluctantly 521942
Reposted by LizzyBrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 01/01/2026the basket of garlic bread stays on the bed during sex 721567
Reposted by LizzyBrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 24/08/2026missed connection: You have a container with red sauce stains & a hole in the lid. I have a red sauce stained penis. Call me. 02911
Reposted by LizzyBrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 30/08/2026but is the suck so bad? ~ americans rn 0166
Reposted by LizzyBogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 5hI fear I may not be loving you all from afar enough. 35527
Reposted by Lizzystrange ranger @lithiumsucks.bsky.social · 16h"Eyes are a liability under certain conditions." 13519
Reposted by LizzySkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I'm not going to lie, would you accept an elaborate excuse instead? 613059
Reposted by LizzyLizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 25/06/2024The sluttiest thing a man can do is fuck all the way off 211848
Reposted by LizzyBraden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 16hHow YOU doin’? I mean financially. Matt LeBlanc here for AARP 218563
Reposted by LizzyKellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 6hFriend: I’m good Me: you don’t have to be 07036
Reposted by LizzyA.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 24/09/2026I have been known to galavant. 1515762
Reposted by LizzyWittySassBasket @wittysassbasket.bsky.social · 10hquit acting like all of 2026 hasn't been spooky season 16927
Reposted by LizzyIdle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 30/09/2026I don’t have much to say and that should make it a good night for someone. 04428
Reposted by LizzyRXSarsparilla formerly Hell's Belle🎉 @gypsymoon1969.bsky.social · 25/09/2026If I am out of bed, I am out of my comfort zone. 49338
Reposted by LizzyUncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 7hyou gotta be super careful when summoning demons cuz you mispronounce one word and things get weird 1419643
Reposted by LizzyMistress Divinity, Queen of Autism @queenofautism.myatproto.social · 10/03/2026if this post gets 1 zillion likes my husband will get me a pony. 3295
Reposted by LizzyTwoSense @twosense.bsky.social · 27/09/2026You like your pockets hot babe? Shoves my vagina into the toaster. 1186
Reposted by LizzyAmbooooorino 👻 @nellieadjacent.bsky.social · 29/09/2026I wished things still smelled like teen spirit 23211
Reposted by LizzyThe Onion @theonion.com · 16hDude Wipes Introduces New Flushable Khakis theonion.com/dude-wipes-introduces-… 492468297
Reposted by LizzyJo @shesquiteadelight.bsky.social · 30/09/2026No no, don't worry, I'll move my compact car so you have room for your emotional support truck. I know what that gender affirming transportation means to you. 1216
Reposted by Lizzy✧𝔰𝔭𝔬𝔬𝔨𝔶 𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔭✧ @altaudge.bsky.social · 11h“your days are numbered” yeah, and? that’s what a calendar is 49414
Reposted by LizzyfuturedadOfTwo🙋🏻♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 12hi do not think the lines are real on flame grilled la croix 58126
Reposted by Lizzyandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 28/09/2026How did netflix know I would want to hear the intro song 100 decibels louder 737473
Reposted by Lizzyflamby ✨🐝 @flamby666.bsky.social · 12hbut where did the first mummy get all that toilet paper 52710
Reposted by LizzyJuiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 01/12/2023Writing a country song about drinking lattes and putting a lift kit on my Subaru Outback. 46829
Reposted by LizzyJenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 9hI stopped to watch a plastic bag blowing in the breeze & got hit by a car 68524
Reposted by LizzyGreg Reckons @gregreckons.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Join my Patreon for early access to my meltdowns. 06527
Reposted by LizzyBogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 20/01/2026A whirlwind of calamities feeling like the evening of the world has arrived. 014476
Reposted by LizzyVamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 10/02/2026we have arrived at my favorite time of day It’s called fuck this shit o’clock 522281
Reposted by LizzyDaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 30/09/2026listen to me when i’m ignoring you damnit 03518
Reposted by Lizzy🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 10hknow your halloween acronyms LOL = licking on lemonheads BRB = big rich butterfingers AFK = always forever kitkat TBH = twix be happening ASL = all snickers loved OMG = only mega goobers 58426
Reposted by LizzyReverie @augustreverie.bsky.social · 12hmy forehead is itchy, who’s trying to curse me? 75213
Reposted by LizzyDan Cerinthedark @etbeeegood.bsky.social · 14hthe word "staunch" sounds nasty af 108527
Reposted by LizzyDanny @mardigroan.bsky.social · 16hIn the battle against humanity there are many reasons that AI may win. They don't even have to interrupt their fight to go to the bathroom. 1147
