iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Just renewed my lease on not having a life

Tippi Hedren Collider @linanneblack.bsky.social · 5h

I got in a contretemps with that one grey squirrel, Brad. I was arguing that more of the walnuts should be eaten or carried away before they could fall on my head, but it turned out he was a paid expert for the tray feeder lobby.

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Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I'm running 6 procrastinations past late.

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~daniel_barker~ @daniel-barker.bsky.social · 18h

Do these people think Shakespeare is primarily known for his self-help books.

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Dan Cerinthedark @etbeeegood.bsky.social · 18h

Oh no I can’t grant you wishes, these are just my Hammer pants

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Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Hot singles in your area want to sacrifice you to Zuul

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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

There’s a knock on the door, and I go to open it. A little boy says “hi, we live next door. My mom wants to know if she can borrow a cup of sugar.” I say “the house next door is vacant.” He smiles. All his teeth are canines

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Viva La Crap! @vivalacrap.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Just misread something as a “spicy failure” and I’m gonna go with that from now on.

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Zesti @zesti.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

You can ghost with impunity this month. 👻

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Blather Wince Repeat @blatherwincerepeat.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I let my facade slip and it crushed a Renault Fuego.

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batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Today’s gonna be the day, The New Yorker!

NEW YORKER CAPTION CONTEST

IMAGE: a room full of wolves leaning in like they’re hungry with a lone, terrified-looking pig on a stage sitting atop a barstool holding a guitar in front of a mic.

MY CAPTION: “Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.”

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geist @prettyvulgar.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

slutty ghosts wear fitted sheets

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Chronic Illness Humor @chronicillness.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Murderer: Everyone lay down! Everyone Else: *screaming* Me: *fatigued* hell yeah.

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RM @dorsalstream.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

[standing out in my corduroy field] Beautiful, she’s almost ready for harvest

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𝔏𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔏𝔬𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢 @fleurkenstein.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Broke up with my medieval bf because he keeps placing pennies on my eyes anytime I sleep more than 4 hrs

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Idle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

slipped on a banana peel into a profound melancholy

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

When does Rod Serling come out to explain that this is just a parable about Hell?

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Yes, obviously it's a tuxedo t-shirt. We're at a wedding, Sharon.

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

- It's obviously a dorsal fin. Did you really need me to tell you that? - Well doctor, I didn't have it yesterday.

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mave @mave.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Moving from summer to fall is a significant shift. Time to put away my swimsuits and get back to mysteriously haunting a crumbling abandoned lighthouse

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 05/09/2024

I think we really need to reconsider this whole computer thing

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PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

The young people don't know what it was like in the raw, Internet free world to not have melba toast specific content in your pocket at all times.

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Tippi Hedren Collider @linanneblack.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

You ask if I'm over it, and I give you my answer, by way of pyroclastic cloud.

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Beccas can't be choosers @beccanical.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

me when my doctor is 10 minutes late calling: ah. i have fucked up somehow and they are going to cancel my subscription to alive

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Chaucer Doth Tweet @levostregc.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Measuringe the value of educacioun by returne on ynvestment onlye ys lyke measuringe the value of a garden by the weight of the floweres

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Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

she could be a little possessive sometimes, like an apostrophe

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Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I thought I heard a dangerous animal rustling in the woods but fortunately it was just my elderly neighbor who’d fallen into her compost pile

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I don’t know much about horses and I know even less about being stable.

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

an old lady at the store pulled out a checkbook to pay and my daughter intently studied her and now i know what it must have been like to witness jane goodall studying the chimps

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skip intro @upfromsumdirt.blacksky.app · 27/09/2026

all i ever wanted from life was a crew that gathered one-by-one while walking down the street to jazz with a funky drum beat.

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

“Is that real?” I ask, pointing at everything.

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oak blanco @abomination.computer · 27/09/2026

saw your man emerging from torpor all raggedy

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

People keep saying we’re in a strange timeline. If you’ve seen a different one, am I taller there?

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happy filth_oween @filth-waste.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

tattooing reminders on myself that say “don’t act divorced online” like i’m guy pearce in memento

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Tippi Hedren Collider @linanneblack.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

The tailings from our conversation are still poisoning the ground water of my first impression of you.

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Zesti @zesti.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

At tonight’s magic show, I was not cut in half. Maybe next year. 🪄

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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 27/09/2026

i regret going out to eat with edward hopper this diner does not even seem to have a door

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mave @mave.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

why would the guy at home depot offer me a brochure about decks when i’m clearly a patio person

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Hope to see you at CVS on Friday. I’ll be debuting such bossa nova classics as The Girl From Ipanema and Killing in the Name on my flageolet. Look for me by the automatic doors, next to the guy chain smoking American Spirits. Percussionists welcome

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terror @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

(Talking to a stranger at the bus stop) One of my cats hates it when I make weird noises and the other one loves it. So you see I never set out to have a favourite..

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Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Few things I hate more than starting a new book. Who the fuck are these guys and why are they bothering me? You think you can compare to the last guys? You have no idea what we went through together.

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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

New in our lost & found: —One (1) Tupperware container filled with pennies —Index card with a recipe for mashed potatoes, with the words "DO NOT MAKE. REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO NATHAN, HE STILL GETS SEISURES" [sic] written at bottom —Eyeglass case, empty

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wormballs @geoffreigh.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

become unalgorithmable

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Tippi Hedren Collider @linanneblack.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Then, one day, you feel compelled to rename a section in your drafts folder from "Running Jokes" to "Continuity."

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Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Sorry I missed your phone call, but you know what today is. I was busy chasing the clouds away and such.

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Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Trying to deal with my lawn in the summertime like Sysiphus

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