iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

The dashboard warning light came on this morning. I looked up the manual, and the icon translates directly to: "Deposit $1,200 at your local mechanic to turn off this symbol.

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Dak @dak.bsky.social · 15h

My car's automatic start-stop engine feature exists solely to convince me the battery died at every single red light.

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Opinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

"what do you expect to happen? have every rapist fired from their job and ruin their life?" uh yeah that'd be a good start

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 16h

me: let’s turn this haunted house into a haunted home ghost: umm sorry, but i have girlfriend haunting in another house — you don’t know her

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 17h

You don’t need a data center to make spaghetti

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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Please stop calling me on my phone that's not what it's for

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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 30/09/2026

a blinker to show you’re changing moods

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Dak @dak.bsky.social · 15h

My refrigerator now requires a firmware update before it will allow access to the cheese.

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Frances Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 15h

garfield minus garfield but it's bluesky minus us politics

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Dak @dak.bsky.social · 15h

I love buying new things. Not because I need them, but because for four glorious minutes I get to pretend I’m a completely different person who doesn't eat shredded cheese out of the bag at 2 AM.

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Dak @dak.bsky.social · 15h

Some fantastic people on these lists. Some, not so much. (Kidding). Thanks @thepokeuk.bsky.social

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Dak @dak.bsky.social · 15h

Bought a brand new exercise bike today so the paramedics have something nice to trip over.

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Dak @dak.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Nothing screams “I’ve got my life together” like having ice cream for dinner because cooking requires effort.

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Dak @dak.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I taught my parrot to say, “Help, I’ve been turned into a parrot.” The authorities are involved. No regrets.

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Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Doc appointment first thing on a Monday morning? They should provide breakfast.

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Dak @dak.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Ordering dinner via QR code feels less like going out for hospitality and more like submitting an IT helpdesk ticket for a bowl of pasta.

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

[dawn of creation. dinner time. fire pit. adam & eve] eve: i’ll take a rib adam: OW eve: jesus christ (who wasn’t even born yet. that’s an anachronism. you’re welcome). you’re supposed to say “aye” how are you so bad at this

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Amy @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

after thirty-seven minutes of doing mouth stuff i will point at your dick and say “babe, that is not very hardcore”

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

YOU: (wise) rome wasn’t built in a day ME: (wiser) rome was built in italy

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PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Thank God this movie franchise I've never heard of is back!

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EMCKAYVEE @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Love is a many stupidored-thing

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Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

If you have a man tell him I said stfu

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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Microdosing Groundhog Day by coming to Bluesky every day just to repost the same 38 shitposters.

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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 25/09/2026

ME: this is so soft i wonder what it is made of MRS: alpaca fur ME: where are we going? is it cold?

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 26/09/2026

It's really comin down out there (civilization)

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

In Japan, bakery schools are called doughjos...and send

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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊 @professorkiosk.wtf · 26/09/2026

debris would make a lovely name for a girl

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Dog: [stares at cards for 5 minutes] Me: So?! Bet or fold?! Dog: Again, it‘s just a stupid painting. We don’t actually play poker.

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Lizzlepants 🐒 @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

if I can’t bring my favorite cat to the job interview I’m not goin

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

me, after the fortune teller flips over a tarot card with me eating donuts in an empty bathtub: hey who made this???

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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

calling in sick to the kickflip factory and confusing everyone as to whether i'm coming in or not

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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

if I only made one person laugh on this site well then it really wasn't worth it I posted alot like hopefully it's at least 5 or 6

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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Postmaster General should be the title given to the best poster on a social media site and definitely not the supreme leader of mail

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Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA @buckyisotope.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

ME: AI can never replace me AI: *starts making terrible posts* ME: well fuck

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karanormal activity 💜 @deadontheoutside.bsky.social · 21/08/2024

i wouldn't tell anyone if i inherited a billboard company but there would be signs

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 25/09/2026

Very rich of this company to think I even remember the job they're rejecting me for

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Lizzlepants 🐒 @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

step back I have others to curse with my blessings today

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Ensuring a clean getaway by using my t-shirt canon to fire donuts at the pursuing cops

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Frances Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 23/09/2026

i could never be a standup comedian. i don't have a tight 5. i don't have a tight anything.

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

ME: “wells fargo” sounds like yoda explaining how deep some wells are BANK MANAGER: look are you going to open an account or what ME: no i just came in to say that

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

The only breasts I’ve touched recently belonged to a rotisserie chicken.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

There’s nothing quite like that perfect moment, standing in the dark, watching your favorite band perform live, when you finally hear the eight magical words you’ve been longing to hear, “This is a song from the new album,” because you’ve desperately had to pee for the last hour.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

-At Olive Garden, you’re family. -No thank you.

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

every day is garbage day if you’re on my timeline

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Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA @buckyisotope.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

If I were sitting on the dock of the bay there’s a good chance I would just slide off and quietly sink to the bottom

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Kalvin the Reindeer @kalvinmacleod.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I bought a bottle of pills that cure laziness but they have a child-proof lid so maybe next time.

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

If your hands are full as you walk by the dog and he looks up at you and thumps his tail do you put down whatever you were carrying and bend down and pat him or are you some kind of fucking monster?

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Quit drinking coffee. Now there is no point at which you may talk to me.

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

umm yeah hey, who decided every aspect of your life should be a full-time job?

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