iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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DB 🇨🇦 @rebelliousdb.bsky.social · 7m

The phone could possibly be surgically removed from his hand, but are the withdrawal impacts worth the risk?

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BlobStarrrr @blobstar.bsky.social · 13m

I'm holding onto your hand right now, but I'll reattach it later if you need it back.

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Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 10m

then someone called dibs and word quickly spread of the miraculous claiming power this phrase had

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fauxnewdalt @fauxnewdalt.bsky.social · 13m

when your body starts talkin back

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 40m

the existence of muppet babies necessitates the existence of muppet intercourse

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Lizzlepants 🐒 @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 5m

I buy lottery tickets every weekend because I am D-E-L-U-S-I-O-N-A-L

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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

When I hear someone's gotten remarried, my brain autocorrects it to rearrested.

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Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 17h

anything is still possible, most of it highly unlikely, but let's keep our options open

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Kellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 17h

I talk to myself but draw the line at listening

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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 7h

Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamt of losing my mind to a tiny screen that makes me sad.

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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 16h

In hell your group chat notification goes off every 5 seconds for all eternity.

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Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I shook my head & all the thoughts fell out upon the floor for the cats to scatter around

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catren parker dot come @jon-snow-420.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

i know how it sounds but this time i think we really can harness the power of ancient evil, for good

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 3h

if you’re trying to stay sane just keep scrolling until you see a puppy

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Memento (spooky) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 3h

i need an exorcism

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Gray @garyniv.bsky.social · 12/04/2025

never appreciated how much being an eternal optimist helps with sleep

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BUCKERS @deathofbuckley.bsky.social · 17h

You call him a Minotaur, I call him Half Man, Half Brisket x

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Lizzlepants 🐒 @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 15h

cannabis most of the time but sometimes all 3 🍷🧀 🍫 💨

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geist, now with double the hauntings @prettyvulgar.bsky.social · 17h

It’s getting chilly enough here I might have to start wearing pants.

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TheeBoneDaddy💀 @theebonedaddy.bsky.social · 15h

Once again it's the time of year you don't want Jim Cantore rolling into town, because it's like your last divorce. There's a good chance you're about to lose your house, your boat, your truck and all of the rest of your shit.

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Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 17h

Hot singles in your area want you to bring them cheese then leave

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Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 16h

Once I replace my knees, hips, and shoulders it’s over for you bitches

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horse chestnut @natehousley.com · 15h

Hopefully I get 6 or 8 more spam calls today

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amberkitty 🐈‍⬛ @amberkitty.bsky.social · 15h

Maybe I should have a drink or two tonight so I can clear out this draft folder

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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 23h

ME: what’s this dish, “lost in the sauce”? i’ll have that SERVER: oh no. no, please don’t order tha— *marinara floods the room like the shining*

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Toes @monotoes.bsky.social · 15h

Oh you like bad boys? I never rate apps when they ask me to.

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Siege @tellumsiege.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

A lot of my skeets are made up they didn’t actually happen. Like I didn’t actually have a pool full of genie semen that one time that was just a joke.

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Ambooooorino 👻 @nellieadjacent.bsky.social · 17h

Shirley Temple of Doom

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Braden Serkas 🎃 @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

You should be able to get out of speeding tickets by describing how the song you were listening to made you feel

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Edmonds Scanner @edmondsscanner.bsky.social · 16h

Don't give up on your dreams. You might be the best crafter of cheap circus whiskey the world has ever seen, but we'll never know until you try.

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Texas Chainsaw Warren G. Harding @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Bring whimsy back into the bedroom. That's why my safeword is "fiddle-dee-dee."

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 17h

Me: If Hulk Hogan got cloned would they call him Hulk Hoagain? Interviewer: I meant questions about the job

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nicholas @nick3lasss.bsky.social · 15h

if you get your rocks off by watching someone in a wheelchair be executed by a firing squad live on television, you need a fucking psych evaluation.

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Chucky @chuckedahl.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

but how could I have had motive without having any motivation, Your Honor?

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MiloPoint @milopoint.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Don't get it twisted, my loyal followers have buried many on our road to ruin.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 19h

I’m an alpha. *adjusts panties

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Network Sportsball Analyst @fakesportsceleb.bsky.social · 16h

My favorite sport is wrecking shit with a forklift

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Pixels Puddlefen @pixelthegnome.bsky.social · 17h

the council has decided your fate, you’re going to be catapulted into a hungry dragons mouth

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Canadian Bacon @tashaneedshelp.bsky.social · 23h

There’s a very obscure line between romance and horror.

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Georgia the Explorer 🇨🇦 @georgiatheexplorer.bsky.social · 19h

The weather looks lovely this weekend. You guys should get out and protest the terrorists running your country

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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 23h

internal memo for external distribution: i am now open to receiving compliments. thank you for your attention in this matter.

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TwoSense @twosense.bsky.social · 20h

Sorry. Can’t. Babying my shoulder for the next 6mos bc I slept on it wrong.

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Uncle Jeff 🌈 @picklerudd.bsky.social · 23h

If life gives you persimmons what the fuck

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PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Friday. Who wants to comb the deep conditioner through my leg hair?

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Gypsiboo 👻 @gypsican.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Can someone like train AI to erase credit card debt and Mortgages? WTF are we even doing

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Goose, just spookier @augustagoose.bsky.social · 21h

Just heard The White Stripes on a classic rock station, and now I’m old and cranky.

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