Reposted by Shade 5korpisworld @kwkorpi.bsky.social · 21hI “curate” random thoughts across four different apps in the hope that after I die my heirs will take them for ancestral wisdom and prosper. It’s stupid, but apparently this is my life’s work. 12813
Reposted by Shade 5Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 29/09/2026The only word I’ve said aloud today is fuck. But in 3 different octaves! 60660116
Reposted by Shade 5The Real Kim Shady @kimmysunshine.bsky.social · 16hwhen my daughter went to college I gave it to her straight: do not drink with men or you will eventually get date raped. I actually advised her not to drink at all. why sugar coat it 45512
Reposted by Shade 5Rachel @slightlycaustic.bsky.social · 5hI hope the republicans lose all their midterms and then blame Canada. 192
Reposted by Shade 5BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 29/09/2026She doesn’t want flowers. She wants rapists to face consequences that destroy their lives instead of sympathy, excuses, and silence. 533698
Reposted by Shade 5🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊 @professorkiosk.wtf · 28/09/2026not my birthday but I’m not gonna let that stop me from eating a whole cake 86628
Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Is counting the number of dead contacts you have in your phone a sign of a midlife crisis? 810341
Reposted by Shade 5Justmebutnot1 @justmebutnot1.bsky.social · 15/09/2026My compression socks are on, bitches better watch out! 12910
Reposted by Shade 5kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 28/09/2026please tell us the name of the lady who thwarted the RAF terror plot cuz vans were parked on her road. is it karen , it’s karen, isn’t it 🤔 25821
Reposted by Shade 5FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Yes, obviously it's a tuxedo t-shirt. We're at a wedding, Sharon. 318961
Reposted by Shade 5Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 27/09/2026debbie sounds like fun 1162218303
Reposted by Shade 5Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 28/09/2026just put together a Dögg from IKEA, but I think I screwed something up 1741971
Reposted by Shade 5Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 26/09/2026“Well, that’s the last time I drink THAT much,” she lied. 17424
Reposted by Shade 5J_Curtis 🇨🇦 @j-curtis.bsky.social · 28/09/2026So now that baseball season is over. It's about 135 days until pitchers and catchers report for spring training 171
Reposted by Shade 5Amy @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 28/09/2026my toxic trait is enumerating all my toxic traits for you before we even have coffee together 410025
Reposted by Shade 5Breakfast 🍩☕️🍑 @donutscoffeeme.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Just did the 5 minute task I've been avoiding for several months. Please clap. 47911
Reposted by Shade 5Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 26/09/2026At work, a woman quit unexpectedly but it’s okay because we both owned a really similar shirt and it’s a pretty small office so that’s resolved. 320452
Reposted by Shade 5Uncle Jeff 🌈 @picklerudd.bsky.social · 28/09/2026In the early mornings, when the sun is full, I allow it to fill my sight until my eyes grow weary and give me no more reports of the world 063
Reposted by Shade 5Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Doc appointment first thing on a Monday morning? They should provide breakfast. 4739024
Reposted by Shade 5Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Some days I’m a dignified can of Beefaroni, other days I’m a plastic bag caught up in a cottonwood tree 411743
Reposted by Shade 5Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 24/09/2026When you get compliments on a trait you didn't know you had you never had it, it's that simple aw shucks stop saying I'm so medical, I'm just allergic to blushing 18147
Reposted by Shade 5Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 28/09/2026My turn signal is broken so I’m throwing a brick out the car window to indicate my direction of travel. 27525
Reposted by Shade 5Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Tune in next week when I livestream my attempt to smuggle a baby giraffe through airport security. 310348
Reposted by Shade 5Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Movie credits used to be here are the like 17 people who made this including the actors. 76227
Reposted by Shade 5gas station dream girl @cheygoulet.bsky.social · 28/09/2026I don’t know why most people take Sundays off from the gym. It’s empty, the boys are inside watching football and it’s just an overall amazing way to end the week. 3397
Reposted by Shade 5Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 20/10/2025I'll be your hamburger AND your helper 413453
Reposted by Shade 5Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Asking random cats to be my meow-meow 14924
Reposted by Shade 5A.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 24/09/2026I have been known to galavant. 1515561
Reposted by Shade 5Resident Warren G. Harding @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social · 26/09/2026"It's tacky to drink iced coffee in an interview" buddy I think it's tacky to not offer your employees full medical and dental, we are not the same 118756
Reposted by Shade 5Greg Reckons @gregreckons.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Join my Patreon for early access to my meltdowns. 06026
Reposted by Shade 5Strughoulo @struggalo.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Does anyone have the address to the complaint department for the internet? 13914
Reposted by Shade 5blondii✌🏼 @savageblondii.bsky.social · 12/03/2026super high and watching a doc about dinosaurs, you? 1309
Reposted by Shade 5Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I have the face of a much saner person. 39661
Reposted by Shade 5SpecialKimtamine™ 🚩🏴☠️🇮🇹🇺🇸🦈 @lorazekim.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Someone called me histrionic and I told them honey, I’m from the South. We’re all histrionic down here 12713
Reposted by Shade 5Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Not a lot of people know this, but the 2009 Pixar film “Up” was actually an adaptation of an unpublished Cormac McCarthy novel 44712
Reposted by Shade 5Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 28/09/2026This day in history. 2013. Margaret Thatcher's ashes were buried at the Royal Hospital Chelsea at a spot near All Saints Chapel where my cousin Harold and his pals like to cheer themselves up by putting on hobnailed boots and doing some stomping. 07028
Reposted by Shade 5Wondervamp Jenny 🦇 @galacticpotlady.bsky.social · 06/03/2024Starta en revolution & chill? 27026
Reposted by Shade 5I'mWintersMom @imwintersmom.bsky.social · 27/09/2026this must be what god felt like when he built neck vertebrae -my kid filling her chicken jockey pez 16521
Reposted by Shade 5lalalyds @lalalyds.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Forever fighting the urge to say, "and then some," when the cashier asks if I found everything okay 1117361
Reposted by Shade 5Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Don't bother asking me what time it is. It's nap time. It's always nap time. 418694
Reposted by Shade 5DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 28/09/2026you killed my vibe. prepare to die 112845
Reposted by Shade 5BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 28/09/2026imagine being partnered up with me… no, more disappointment 16734
Reposted by Shade 5Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Sorry for what I said and for throwing my boot at you when my foot itched 1213448
Reposted by Shade 5Brie @brielikethechhes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Feminize a band’s name The Butthole Suffragettes 11326
Reposted by Shade 5Brie @brielikethechhes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I wish I had a foot massager Like those fancy ones that heat up and play foot music 0134
Reposted by Shade 5Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 26/09/2026My toxic trait is thinking i can run a quick errand without it turning into a full day event. Anyway, I own a ferret now 512938
Reposted by Shade 5Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 23/09/2026I’ve got 99 problems and I cause all of them myself 411843
Reposted by Shade 5SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · 17/09/2026Explain it to me like I’m ChatGPT counting the Rs in “strawberry” 117547
