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🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️

@jollyrobber.bsky.social
5.8K followers 1.3K following 4.1K posts

Thoughts from the dark side of a married man. It is what it is and I ain't shit. (Not) New & (Certainly Not) Improved bsky.app/profile/jollyrobber.bsky.social/search My Musings tinyurl.com/2p9ruj7u Best? Of tinyurl.com/mry4284p

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
trickykat @trickykat.bsky.social · 1h
flaring my nostrils because i’m having a good nose hair day
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🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 1h
Based off television I watched growing up, I expected to have a lot more citizen's arrests under my belt by now.
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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 4h
I’m going to start talking to everyone like they’re hard of hearing. Oops. I SAID, I’M GOING TO START TALKING TO EVERYONE LIKE THEY’RE HARD OF HEARING!
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Blair Loudly @blairloudly.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
trial and error would be great names for twins
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turkeyteeth008.bsky.social @turkeyteeth008.bsky.social · 08/06/2025
Never interrupt your enemy when they’re making a mistake, sit back & let them.
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
turkeyteeth008.bsky.social @turkeyteeth008.bsky.social · 15/07/2025
I stopped caring what people think of me when I realised most people don’t even like themselves.
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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 6h
Think about it . . . If love didn't hurt so much, it wouldn't be called love . . . it would be called pepperoni pizza.
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nancyspantsbelt.bsky.social @nancyspantsbelt.bsky.social · 5h
Repost with an image of your favorite James Bond (wrong answers only)
static.klipy.com
Chong Smokingpipe
Alt: Chong Smokingpipe
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Melicious @honeybadgermel.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
It’s really hard to get back on the horse when the horse has left the barn.
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Shitposts In Tiaras @shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social · 19h
Quote posts are turned off but we aren't 🏆👑 Congratulations @lalalyds.bsky.social from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴‍☠️
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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 22h
there's this supplier who comes to visit us like once a month and he always brings doughnuts and i don't even know his name but hats off to you doughnut guy you are the best
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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 22h
Share someone who looks stylish posing with or next to a car.
Black & white photo of Syd Barrett half sitting on the back of his car with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth
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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 20h
them: when exactly did you become so jaded me: around the time i stopped wearing candy necklaces
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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 19h
Abe Simpson selling tonic. His arms are raised, one hand holding a bottle of tonic, the other holding his cane. There are balloons near him and a banner above him.
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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 12h
floyd taking his treat into the other room like who do you think is gonna eat it little buddy i have access to all the treats i could eat them all right now if i wanted to why must you hide that specific one from me i would never come and jam my snoot into your treat that's your thing not mine i jus
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key @lefttwix.com · 21h
whenever brandon bussi gets scored on, i say “ooof, right in the bussy” anyway, hockey is back!
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key @lefttwix.com · 18h
tired: bidet wired: cleANUS
the box for the "cleANUS - swirling wheel of purity" the box is light teal and white and features a picture of a white toilet with a green circular brush wheel mounted inside the bowl, connected by a belt to a handle. texts on the box say things like "say goodbye to toilet paper expenses" "softouch rotation technology" "5 year warranty or 10,000 flushes" and  "this product proudly stands with the “replace all usa toilet paper” movement 2024"  there are badges in the bottom right for "2023 top 5 innovations in the usa" and "approved international association of forest defenders"
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Perfectly Cromulent Woman @catlady.gay · 10/06/2026
Got a concealed carry license for these finger guns so now you'll never see em coming
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Perfectly Cromulent Woman @catlady.gay · 25/11/2025
Get yourself a girl who is laser focused on getting in and out of Costco as quickly as possible
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Perfectly Cromulent Woman @catlady.gay · 18/04/2026
Sorry i rear-ended you i was trying to catch the attention of the dog in the car next to me
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
Perfectly Cromulent Woman @catlady.gay · 14/06/2026
Money can buy me love, i can use it to pay the adoption fees for a shelter cat
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
Perfectly Cromulent Woman @catlady.gay · 20h
Do i make an impromptu trip to federal way to rent a hot tub suite for an hour or two tomorrow?
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Perfectly Cromulent Woman @catlady.gay · 12h
Nature is beautiful
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Perfectly Cromulent Woman @catlady.gay · 11h
The hardest part about quitting drinking is the falling asleep because i used to just pass out
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
A.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
There’s a 98% chance that my dog is going to excite-pee when he sees me, and only slightly lesser odds that I will when I see him.
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🐄🥚 @tweedle.bsky.social · 23h
who let the dongs out?
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Enola Emanon @enolaemanon.bsky.social · 23h
🎶 As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I take a look at my life and realize there's nothin' left 'Cause I've been blastin' and laughin' so long that Even my momma thinks that my mind is gone 🎶
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Perfectly Cromulent Woman @catlady.gay · 29/09/2026
Someone go pee for me I'm too cozy to get out of bed
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Perfectly Cromulent Woman @catlady.gay · 29/09/2026
The urge to hibernate this fall and winter is strong
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
Perfectly Cromulent Woman @catlady.gay · 29/09/2026
Everyone who tells me I'm wrong is a russian bot
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Perfectly Cromulent Woman @catlady.gay · 29/09/2026
What a time to quit smoking and drinking!
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Perfectly Cromulent Woman @catlady.gay · 23h
Bluesky broke bluesky trying to fix bluesky and then fixed the fix and now they're monitoring whether that fix fixed bluesky or what
A screenshot of the bluesky status page showing the timeline of today's outages and fixes and fixing the fix that broke the website in a different way

Partial system outage

Site Slowness/Loading Failure
Monitoring. Partial outage
Started about 2 hours ago

Monitoring - September 29, 2026 at 1:27 PM

The fix has been applied and we are monitoring the result

Identified - September 29, 2026 at 1:12 PM

We made a change that caused the site to go down again. We are undoing that change and monitoring.

Monitoring - September 29, 2026 at 1:00 PM

A fix has been implemented and we are monitoring the results

Identified - September 29, 2026 at 12:09 PM

We are experiencing slowness and occasional loading failures with the site. We have identified the root cause and are working to rectify it.
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
Perfectly Cromulent Woman @catlady.gay · 23h
Sitting with one titty out like they used to do in the olden days
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
Jim @jimstewart.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Top 38 accounts who already have me blocked
Screenshot of many responses of people here. It reads "Blocked"
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Tell me you have a kitten without telling me you have a kitten
Mangled, half-eaten roll of paper towels
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Wore the Dallas Stars t-shirt I found thrifting while doing yard work and it worked. I got three waves from the neighbors. Even still, I'll never wear Cowboys gear and that's a promise
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Bluesky is great if you want to get pissed off enough to deep clean your house.
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I don't need a man. If I want to be ignored, I'll try making plans with my adult daughter.
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Some of you should refer to them as minions instead of followers
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Skipping all the costume nonsense and just going as a slut this year
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Motherfuck the big three, it's just big me
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Joining the throwback party open.spotify.com/track/4FupIl...
open.spotify.com
Planet Rock
Afrika Bambaataa, The Soulsonic Force · Planet Rock · Song · 1982
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Can't. still looking for that post from earlier this week bc I had an awesome reply
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
People who's page sends you directly to another site as soon as you scroll, love it. Keep that shit up
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Slept on my body weird last night. Who wants to come over and snap my spine?
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I simply couldn't, so I did not.
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Making a band that you like your entire personality is so lame. Just ask my kid, Champagne Supernova.
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Shitposts In Tiaras @shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
That's the most pasta-aggressive thing I ever heard 🏆👑 Congratulations @dumb-belles.bsky.social from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴‍☠️
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Siege @tellumsiege.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Doctor said my cholesterol is low so he has me on cholesterol pills.
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Siege @tellumsiege.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Imagine if your last name was Doctor but you weren’t a doctor so people have to call you Mr. Doctor.
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