Sign in

The Cynical Hüldra

@cynicalhuldra.bsky.social
757 followers 461 following 125 posts

Info on a “need to know” basis. Info requests to be submitted 30 days in advance. Void in the state of Iowa. She/Her. Normalize pronouns My stupidity: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ai73ozem7p…

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
warrior cop @wyattprivilege.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
I GET LOGGED OUT. BUT I LOG IN AGAIN
149155733095
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
Wife: I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE Me, Shirtless And Wearing My Old High School Gym Shorts: what’s wrong honey
321287
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
[loud knocking] “OPEN UP. IT’S THE POLICE!” Me: Prove it. “HOW?” Me: Sing “Roxanne.”
32670158
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Queen RanDumb @invisihole.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
If life has taught me anything, it’s that karma isn’t real.
812225
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
enjoying my boobs while they’re still hanging around up front before they decide to go off and live in my arm pits
715126
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Opinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
every dog in the park that doesn’t run up to me to say hello is a terrorist
1435759
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Eric Champnella @echamp.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
Stephen Colbert is a national treasure: The day after his show was canned after 11 years by CBS to appease a tyrant, he shows up on the Monroe, MI public access channel where he did his first Late Show broadcast in 2015.
youtu.be
Only In Monroe --- May 22, 2026
YouTube video by Stephen Colbert
16083961814
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
lalalyds @lalalyds.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
Look, all I'm saying is if some bitch wanted to prick my finger so I could sleep uninterrupted for a few years I wouldn't be all that mad about it
10586157
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 17/05/2026
I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and think, 'Hey, that one is shaped like an idiot.'
43810
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
The Real Kim Shady @kimmysunshine.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
I might do some crazy shit like follow my dreams
24313
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
Things were going poorly, but I was confident I could make it worse.
8357164
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Paused Mortem 💀 @pausedmortem.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
The world is my oyster and I'm allergic to seafood.
014654
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Twin Dad @twinsurvivalist.bsky.social · 16/04/2026
So, these "tax refunds” everyone talks about...tell me more. They sound wonderful.
44410
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Twin Dad @twinsurvivalist.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
*adding my name to the lower back transplant list, hoping an annoying 20 year old dies of natural causes soon*
22410
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Twin Dad @twinsurvivalist.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
Pilot, to passengers: Bit of a...uhhhh...problem on the flight deck...ahhhh...anyone know how much the average woodchuck might be able to...uhhhh...chuck? Guy who loves tongue twisters: *whispering* It's my time...
0207
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 15/12/2024
sure, everybody hates snake oil — until their snake starts squeaking
242243471
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 15/01/2025
interviewer: how are your listening skills? me: absolutely
383071487
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
[date] her: I’m a chiropractor me: *under breath* holy shit I thought they were extinct
121336249
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
there is no greater joy than helping to make a friend’s dream come true
A man holds a chicken in a giant slingshot.
24520108
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
This day in history. 1564. William Shakespeare was baptized at Stratford-upon-Avon. The damp youngster was heard telling the vicar "Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee, and I must tell you friendly in your ear, sell when you can, you are not for all markets."
19642
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 22/09/2024
General Tzo. Colonel Sanders. Why must we militarize our chicken this way?
26542142
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
remember: everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. you are being being excluded from the battle. we think you’re a loser.
4500114
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 08/06/2025
This needs no explanation, said Lieutenant Obvious as he put in for promotion.
112357
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Kellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
Hate when my thought bubbles float away in the wrong direction.
311557
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
bacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
judge: how do you plead? me: well, I can't speak for the defendant but— judge: of course you can, you’re his attorney me: well in that case, he’s clearly guilty as hell!
213257
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
1225
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
The Cure makes me think of either old girlfriends or hair product. There is no in-between
1013040
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
I am far different from my shitty teenage self who couldn't see the point of getting out of my grandma's Cadillac to look at a 300 year old tree.
27818
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
If I write the word “data,” which do you hear in your mind: data or data?
259335
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
The Real Kim Shady @kimmysunshine.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
If you name your kid Tanner, whatever he does is on you
1118940
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Arron Automata @arrontk.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
When I hear people say “it’s just a cat” or “it’s just a dog”.. it actually breaks my heart. Some people will never understand how much personality our pets really have.
2734688357
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
James Damron @runswindows95.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
Long story short, "everybody poops" is not a good legal defense for using the mall fountain as a bidet.
45321
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Jordan T Neves @jeanvendors.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
(Me holding my 19-pound cat, forgetting the word “substantial”) Wow buddy you’re so significant
851735
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Grymoria of the Neo-Nether @grymoria.blacksky.app · 25/04/2026
So I just learned about a Black actress named Nichelle Nichols and how her being on Star Trek was a big deal to Black people back then and how she was the reason why we had astronauts of color being a part of NASA. This is why representation matters and it is that deep. She made history.
1281792243
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Rachel @slightlycaustic.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
I’ll just keep believing I look like I do in the mirror and not how I look in an accidentally opened self facing camera thank you. No one has 4K eyes.
511519
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 25/04/2026
i set the camera to portrait mode and turned my phone on its side and my phone exploded
0309
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
my bad posts are a test as to who amongst you are the real ones
510834
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Ooh, Bananacuda @bananaclams.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Okay, holy communion but with slices of pepperoni..
6145
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 25/06/2023
TRENT REZNOR: I hurt myself today [turns to camera] but with Aspercreme brand lidocaine, I can still fuck you like an animal
17645169
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
the song “Urgent” is about a cat wanting food
814643
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
A Shot of Steve™ ⚡️ @stevekoehler22.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
Trump’s top staff are now being referred to as the Liquor Cabinet. Some fine choices there.
1636172
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
PhantomDeeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
That little piece of love I have left? It's for me
28339
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Chicken the Friendly Ghost @vermontchicken.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
You can file your taxes and set up a payment arrangement so that this administration is long gone by the time your balance due is paid. For real.
23910
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
SeaTea @tierno158.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
I am going to do my taxes tonight because I am not one to wait until the last minute.
0293
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
"you're arguing with a joke" "jokes are supposed to be funny" "we live in an imperfect world"
822837
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Liz Lets Looooooose 👻 @ghostofelizabeth.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
13th Century mosaic depicting a Byzantine doctor
13th-century Byzantine mosaic of Jesus Christ (known as Christ Pantocrator) in the Hagia Sophia temple in Istanbul
1176
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Katie Porter’s White Board @ohdangitevie.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
Normalize pointing and screaming “WITCHCRAFT!!!” whenever you see a man reading or doing math.
media.tenor.com
a man wearing a trench coat and tie is pointing at the camera .
Alt: a man wearing a trench coat and tie is pointing at the camera .
4364
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
terrifying if literal: turn around, bright eyes every now and then i fall apart
1219
Reposted by The Cynical Hüldra
Dread Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
Fact: sperm whales call humans “jizz monkeys”
427486