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DocAtCDI

@docatcdi.com
23K followers 23K following 41K posts

Sharing smiles, free to steal! PG in the daylight, discretion after dark. Postcards, jello shots & the shop: docatcdi.com/shop?s=bsky patreon.com/c/DocAtCDI Also @DocAtCDI on Threads, Mastodon & X FB: DocCyber

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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 15m
My twin brother called me from prison. He said: You know how sometimes we finish each other's sentences...
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 39m
The rats of Wall Street have long suspected that the real inside trading happens when the Sabrett vendor decides which dogs get the extra onions.
The rats of Wall Street have long suspected that the real inside trading happens when the Sabrett vendor decides which dogs get the extra onions.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 1h
Portable Robotics Platform at CETI Colomos: Load Capacity, Single-Outlet Power Draw, and the Gap Between Available Infrastructure and Educational Demand thesixthlense.com/article/portable-… The platform arrived with one power cable.
thesixthlense.com
Portable Robotics Platform at CETI Colomos: Load Capacity, Single-Outlet Power Draw, and the Gap Between Available Infrastructure and Educational Demand
The platform arrived with one power cable. One outlet. Fifteen students waiting. RoboMeshA is a portable robotics and AI instruction unit developed by fifteen engineering students, faculty advisors, and IEEE Guadalajara Section volunteers,
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 1h
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, choking back the tears, I said, 'Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are... Independent.'
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 2h
One Year Without the EV Tax Credit: A Market Reshaped thesixthlense.com/article/one-year-… One year ago, the federal tax credit for electric vehicles expired.
thesixthlense.com
One Year Without the EV Tax Credit: A Market Reshaped
One year ago, the federal tax credit for electric vehicles expired. The credit, worth up to $7,500 on qualifying new vehicles, had been a steady engine behind the growth of electric cars in the United States. Its elimination marked a turnin
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 2h
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder? 'Don't worry, I'm fine.'
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 3h
Detroit Public Schools Are Hiring Substitute Teachers. The City Held Its Breath. thesixthlense.com/article/detroit-p… Detroit Public Schools Community District put out a call for substitute teachers recently.
thesixthlense.com
Detroit Public Schools Are Hiring Substitute Teachers. The City Held Its Breath.
Detroit Public Schools Community District put out a call for substitute teachers recently. Not a small ask. Thirty-four schools, something like 49,000 students, and a sub pool that apparently runs thin enough that the district has been patc
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 3h
I was going to tell a joke about education, but it's too elementary.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 4h
*BOOM* Mom shouts: What was that? Me: My coat fell. Mom: It sounded a lot heavier than that! Me: I was in it.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 4h
Someone threw a beer at Trump at one of his rallies. It's okay; It was draft beer, so... He dodged it.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 5h
The Night Shift, Wed 30 Sep, 00:00 to 06:00. 136 jobs ran 2,139 times. Posts: 6 in one place, 8 in another, 6 in a third. 19 backups finished. 1 job failed. Written by the machine from its logs: docatcdi.com/nightshift
docatcdi.com
The Night Shift
136 different jobs ran, 2,139 times between them, and wrote 19,711 lines into the log.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 5h
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 6h
People say my hobby of filling farm animals up with helium is morally reprehensible. But I say, whatever floats your goat.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 7h
I tried a bit of finger painting yesterday. Wish I hadn't bothered, it took me 8 hours just to do the baseboards.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 8h
A man successfully brought a suit against a grocer when he slipped and fell on a banana in the grocer's store. However... ...it was overturned on appeal.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 9h
Mrs. Doc was worried about meeting new people on our upcoming cruise. My friend said, 'Don't worry. We'll all be in the same boat.'
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 10h
I walked into my boss's office and handed him a pear. 'What's this for?' he said. 'A pay raise. My wife told me to grow it and then ask you.'
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 11h
Man goes to the doctor: 'Doctor, I've got a golf ball stuck up my butt.' The doctor asks: 'How did that get up there?' The man replies: 'I don't know, but it's up a fairway!'
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 12h
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate little, which made him frail and with his odd diet he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 13h
I got gas today for $1.39. You can always count on fast food for a bargain!
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 13h
the audiobook of Still Here is a 3.5 hour listen. not a light afternoon but an honest one. don't listen while driving. I mean that mechanically, not legally.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 13h
What's the best thing that happened to you today? #BestThingOfTheDay
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 14h
People laugh at my car because it's ugly and green. But at least I avocado.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 15h
#DocAfterDark
Being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can will be held against you

 replies Boobs!,
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 15h
I just found out that Microsoft bought Skype for almost 9 billion dollars. Idiots... they should have downloaded it for free!
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 15h
When my wife gave birth, I thanked the doctor, and pulled them aside to sheepishly ask, "How soon do you think well be able to have sex?" The doctor winked at me and said: "I'm off duty in 10 minutes - meet me in the car park." #DocAfterDark
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 16h
Crocodiles can grow up to 15 feet. But most have only four.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 16h
Dropping a sewing needle is like a cross between Where's Waldo and The Floor is Lava, except if you don't find Waldo, he's gonna stab you!
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 16h
These pizzas are all having separate identity crises under those heat lamps and honestly, the chaos is the only thing holding this display case together.
These pizzas are all having separate identity crises under those heat lamps and honestly, the chaos is the only thing holding this display case together.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 17h
There is a nudist club meeting next Saturday. I might go if I have nothing on.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 17h
These Santa-hatted sheep have redefined "counting sheep" as "enthusiastic holiday cheerleading practice."
These Santa-hatted sheep have redefined "counting sheep" as "enthusiastic holiday cheerleading practice."
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 18h
I have a musical joke without measure. I'm not sure how to scale it!
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 19h
What's the best thing for a hangover? Drink loads the night before.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 20h
Did you hear about the farmer who drowned in chickpeas? The police suspected it was a hummucide.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 20h
📅 September 29, 1829 — The Founding of London's Metropolitan Police A man named Sir Robert Peel said, "London's crime wave must finally be felled!" He launched the police, To bring order and peace, And "Bobbies" became what they're called on the beat! #TodayInHistory #Limerick #History
September 29, 1829 — The Founding of London's Metropolitan Police: A man named Sir Robert Peel said,
"London's crime wave must finally be felled!"
He launched the police,
To bring order and peace,
And "Bobbies" became what they're called on the beat!
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 20h
Jello Shot #22 of 103: SOUR APPLE 1 cup Mountain Dew, hot. 1 box sour apple jello + 1 envelope Knox + 1 tbsp sugar. 6 tbsp vodka + 2 tbsp Captain Morgan coconut rum. Makes 12 one-ounce shots. All 103 in the PDF, free at any tier on Patreon: docatcdi.com/go/jello?s=bsky
docatcdi.com
103 Jello Shots That Actually Set and Taste Good
The method and twelve recipes, free. All 103: $3, or free at any paid Patreon tier, including the $1 one.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 21h
Just found out that falcons live 10-15 years, and the oldest recorded Peregrine Falcon was at least 19 years, 9 months, when it was identified in 2012, the same state where it had been banded in 1992. That means that every single Falcon alive today is a Millennial Falcon...
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 22h
A rental car just drove over my foot. Hertz.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 22h
Cheaper than therapy for you, slightly worse for them. $3 postcards, mailed anonymously. docatcdi.com/go/postcards?s=bsky
Postcard front. Joke reads: Jokes about unemployed people aren't funny. They've never worked for me.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 23h
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 29/09/2026
The underground badger community's third attempt at installing a sunroof without reading the instructions.
The underground badger community's third attempt at installing a sunroof without reading the instructions.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 29/09/2026
I dig, you dig, we dig, she digs, he digs, they dig. It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 29/09/2026
Nine Thousand Pounds of Somebody Else's Lesson thesixthlense.com/article/nine-thou… You don't need a diploma to know the difference between a harvest and a photo of one.
thesixthlense.com
Nine Thousand Pounds of Somebody Else's Lesson
You don't need a diploma to know the difference between a harvest and a photo of one. I'll be. Nearly ten thousand pounds a year to learn how to make TikToks. That's a whole lot of salt to lay around the cornfield. You remember when the Pot
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 29/09/2026
Why did the barber win the race? He took a short cut...
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 29/09/2026
Eight Billion Dollars and a Simulated Kitchen Fire thesixthlense.com/article/eight-bil…
thesixthlense.com
Eight Billion Dollars and a Simulated Kitchen Fire
There's something almost funny about training a robot to cook by letting it burn down ten thousand virtual kitchens before it ever touches a real stove, funny in the way that most genuinely important things are funny once you stare at them
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 29/09/2026
What do you call musically-inclined horse feed from the Netherlands? Holland-Oats.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 29/09/2026
A German tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, 'Here is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine.' I asked him, 'Are you a vet?' He said, 'Vet? I'm bloody soaking.'
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 29/09/2026
Why can't we use thoughts and prayers to protect our borders? It's what we use to protect our schools.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 29/09/2026
The Night Shift, Tue 29 Sep, 00:00 to 06:00. 137 jobs ran 2,145 times. Posts: 5 in one place, 8 in another, 6 in a third. 19 backups finished. 1 job failed. Written by the machine from its logs: docatcdi.com/nightshift
docatcdi.com
The Night Shift
137 different jobs ran, 2,145 times between them, and wrote 22,505 lines into the log.
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DocAtCDI @docatcdi.com · 29/09/2026
If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
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