Reposted by WittySassBasket los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 19/10/2025Keith Sweat just played on the radio and my vasectomy reversed itself 46022
Reposted by WittySassBasket Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Even if you've only done the Macarena once, you're still a carrier 25495154
Reposted by WittySassBasket Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 03/10/2026*from the ditch I’m doing great. 69648
Reposted by WittySassBasket Blair Spookily @blairloudly.bsky.social · 03/10/2026[kitten about to pounce] and behold a pale horse and his name that sat on him was death 04213
Reposted by WittySassBasket Nappy Dolemite @nappydolemite.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Not a single one of my reminders are friendly 09436
Reposted by WittySassBasket Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 13/01/2025Dance like your spirit isn’t broken beyond repair. 17710208
WittySassBasket @wittysassbasket.bsky.social · 01/10/2026quit acting like all of 2026 hasn't been spooky season 110938
Reposted by WittySassBasket Siege @tellumsiege.bsky.social · 09/07/2026We gotta be living in some timeline’s blooper reel. 28436
Reposted by WittySassBasket Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 26/09/2026That bitch crazy, Your Honor 512844
Reposted by WittySassBasket Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Recently stopped talking to someone because they insisted on saying, “making love,” instead of, “fucking,” and I’m not capable of dealing with that. 1010035
Reposted by WittySassBasket FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 17/09/2026But they were all of them deceived, for another Duran was made 11665187
Reposted by WittySassBasket Chames @overlooked237.bsky.social · 18/09/2026🎵 when you get caught between the couch and roku city🎵 0379
Reposted by WittySassBasket Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 18/09/2026LIV Tyler’s full name is Fifty Four Tyler 17703119
Reposted by WittySassBasket Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Ask your doctor if mocking everything and everyone is right for you. 937782
Reposted by WittySassBasket Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 18/09/2026*slides you some cheese* you’ll need this for your journey 810230
Reposted by WittySassBasket lalalyds @lalalyds.bsky.social · 06/11/2024Not enough of you watched pbs as a kid and it shows 412160277
Reposted by WittySassBasket Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 18/09/2026A salad bar, but it’s all just Costco sheet cakes. 1638985
Reposted by WittySassBasket Trevor R Browning @trevorbrowning.bsky.social · 18/09/2026It’s 5:33am. You can’t sleep. Underneath your bed, there’s a creepy rustle, as the clown tries to quietly unwrap and eat a granola bar. 0186
Reposted by WittySassBasket Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 10/12/2023*playing the tuba outside your window at 3am I just wanted you to know that everyone thinks you’re kind of a cunt. 614266
Reposted by WittySassBasket Blair Spookily @blairloudly.bsky.social · 18/09/2026[pulling a cat out of my emotional support hoodie] here hold this i got an xxl and theres like 6 more tucked in here 37732
Reposted by WittySassBasket Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 17/09/2026-At Olive Garden, you’re family. -No thank you. 410440
Reposted by WittySassBasket m@thew @tweetpotato314.bsky.social · 17/09/2026ok, but what if u want to summon batman during the day 1021840
Reposted by WittySassBasket John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 17/09/2026Me: I’ll have a small drink. Fast food worker: We don’t have a small. We only have large and medium. Me: *grabs him by collar* THE SMALLEST SIZE CANNOT BE MEDIUM! THAT LITERALLY MEANS MIDDLE! 423157
Reposted by WittySassBasket 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 16/09/2026[double date] Other couple: How did you two meet? Me: Well, I saw Brenda’s tits online and slid right into her DMs. The rest is history. 1017241
Reposted by WittySassBasket Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 16/09/2026[date] her: I do web design me: like charlotte? her: me: do you make your own silk? her: are . . . are you posting this right now? 510023
Reposted by WittySassBasket DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 17/09/2026[ first day as blackjack dealer ] Go fish 09334
Reposted by WittySassBasket John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 13/09/2026“Making friends is hard.“ —Dr. Frankenstein 225490
Reposted by WittySassBasket Brick's House 🍁 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 14/09/2026[Giovanni Paolo Paninni meeting the Earl of Sandwich] both: (eyes narrow) 822566
Reposted by WittySassBasket Blair Spookily @blairloudly.bsky.social · 17/09/2026so far gone my straight jacket is varsity 58834
Reposted by WittySassBasket Flute Manhawk @thelittlestoaf.bsky.social · 16/09/2026Georgia O’Beefe’s New Mexico Steakhouse: If your date doesn’t turn you on, you better believe our steaks will 0114
Reposted by WittySassBasket brent @murrman5.bsky.social · 16/09/2026[responding to trash talk during pick up basketball game] my wife has a bad back so I doubt that happened 5627103
Reposted by WittySassBasket leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 15/09/2026I get home late, dead tired, and see my name in big, bloody letters on the bedroom wall - and I'm like, nope, I will deal with THIS in the morning 730664
Reposted by WittySassBasket Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 16/09/2026TEACHER: i see you passing notes, stand up and read it to the class KID: teacher is super hot TEACHER: *twirls hair* what else does it say 317130
Reposted by WittySassBasket It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 16/09/2026[As my kid watches me try to put a straw into a Capri Sun] Me: This is always so challenging My Kid: Not if you know the secret Me: What's the secret? My Kid: Don't be a little bitch 927657
Reposted by WittySassBasket NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 16/09/2026Would you like a mocktail? A drink that jeers at you? 1120962
Reposted by WittySassBasket Blair Spookily @blairloudly.bsky.social · 13/09/2026the best part of grocery shopping is when the cashier making basically nothing tells me i owe $100 for basically nothing 213034
WittySassBasket @wittysassbasket.bsky.social · 16/09/2026I miss being able to drop a gif in a message, so don't mind me 161
Reposted by WittySassBasket Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 14/09/2026She was rare, like a single guy sliding into her DMs. 314330
Reposted by WittySassBasket Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 14/09/2026*dating after 60* Get on my lawn! 819549
Reposted by WittySassBasket Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 06/02/2025it's time to put emojis on ouija boards this dead kid can't spell for shit 10430127
Reposted by WittySassBasket Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 25/10/2025When I say I'm a man of substance I mean controlled. 118773
Reposted by WittySassBasket 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 14/09/2026She was spirited, like a haunted house. 117975
Reposted by WittySassBasket John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Me, shouting from the back at a Poison concert: ACTUALLY THERE ARE SEVERAL VARIETIES OF THORNLESS ROSES! 13392117
Reposted by WittySassBasket Nappy Dolemite @nappydolemite.bsky.social · 15/09/2026HER, "You're cute. How old are you?" ME: "When I go for casual walks, I bring my ID with me in case I drop dead suddenly on the sidewalk." 0269
Reposted by WittySassBasket DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 15/09/2026[during sex] Her: go deeper Me: so trouble probably began when my dad left.. 07715
Reposted by WittySassBasket Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 15/09/2026If you drive with the “check engine” light on long enough, another light will pop up saying “oooh, check out the badass” 6315101
Reposted by WittySassBasket los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 12/09/2026•walking into Ripley’s Believe It Or Not• Which way to the butter? 622274