iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

being a kid in the 80s meant going to a coin show would likely be the highlight of your month

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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Always one awkward hug away from faking my own death.

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Siege @tellumsiege.bsky.social · 23/05/2026

Doctor said I have to lose five bones.

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 22h

"Actually...eh hem...Frankenstein was the name of the scientist, the creator; not the monst- eh ehhh eck" - Some nerd I just choked

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President Warren G. Haunted @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social · 25/08/2023

We need a Disney Princess who has killed before, and will likely kill again

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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 17h

I wouldn’t eat that if I were you. - me, serving dinner.

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mensch @prettyvulgar.bsky.social · 28/04/2026

y’all I have to get this off my chest before it eats me up inside: I had a sex dream about Gritty the other night.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 21h

I’m wearing all denim, of course I’m ready for intercourse.

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 9h

ME: What's your favourite Olympic event? WIFE: Discus ME: Omg I would if you'd answer my question, Sharon

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 03/10/2026

court-ordered dance off

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

[walking home early after another bad date] looks like my online sensual juggling classes were a waste of time

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Riverdance but with spiders in tiny tap shoes

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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Today is the day my eyebrow mites migrate to the other eyebrow. The Great Mitegration

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lukelukeluke @lukelukeluke.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Touching grass is not enough I need to break my arm

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BlobStarrrr @blobstar.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Sorry about the well actuallying

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

Curiosity couldn’t kill a cat. You’d need at least 9 curiosities for that.

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Blair Spookily @blairloudly.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

[looking in the mirror] ugh i look more like age against the machine

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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Babies are like the Dorito variety pack and I'm sorry to inform you that not all of them can be Cool Ranch

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Siege @tellumsiege.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I’d love to visit Japan just not during Godzilla season

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taffy bennington @singwithtaffy.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

If I was a beekeeper, I would funnel a bunch of those bees into my suit so they could swirl around and cool me down like a vortexy fan.

27216

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crabbydaddy dave @crabbydaddy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

on a highway to hell in a handbasket that i put all my eggs in

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flamby ✨🐝 @flamby666.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

blink 182 tried to tell us work sucks but we didn't listen

15912

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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

It took me forever to learn the French word for "here." No one ever said it was going to be ici.

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korpisworld @kwkorpi.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

You can’t tickle yourself because your brain knows exactly what’s coming. Same reason my wife doesn’t laugh when I tell her my jokes.

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

me: the phrase “dog cocks ears” kinda sounds like the ingredients for a witch’s brew, amirite my gynecologist: what

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murphmama.bsky.social @murphmama.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

You know you're old when you look at the concert playlist to see when it's safe to make an early escape

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

writing my memoirs on old klondike bar wrappers

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

My retirement plan is an abandoned shipping container full of old copper pipes

1010933

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Unhappy agoraphobic couple not thinking about seeing other people.

1166

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

the whole point is to share them. they should be called wemes

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Gorilla Glue just sounds like a name they came up with to calm down the horses.

721067

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Careful, the plate is hot. And the fork. Actually I microwaved all the dinnerware for 25 minutes.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

[at my autopsy; a forensic pathologist speaks into a recording device in a puzzled tone] “I’ve never seen so many apple stickers inside of someone”

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

*sound of bone-saw, clanking chains, the wind moans through the trees and so begin the hollow voices of the damned* I'm just burning doing the neutron dance

06022

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Damnit Janet @damnitjanet.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Podcasts are actually really useful for making it sound like you're not home alone when the delivery guy brings a shameful amount of takeaway

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richie @theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

yeah well my dog thinks shitting the bed is pretty cool so,

02612

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

We've become so silly out of touch with our instincts that if we still had tails they would betray us, but that's why I always swing on the ass tickling of forgiveness

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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

me: no, I wouldn’t “CaRe To ElAbOrAtE” prosecutor: do it anyway

0308

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

“Caregiver” means a person who gives care. Why doesn’t “caretaker” mean someone who takes care away? Just give me one week with the English language and I will make shit right.

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Davoid (extra screams) @davoid.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I don’t usually get personal on here but I wanted to let everyone know I’m in kind of a weird place right now. It’s the autopsy room in the basement of the clown college.

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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

them: when exactly did you become so jaded me: around the time i stopped wearing candy necklaces

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Siege @tellumsiege.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Godzilla should smile more he’s prettier when he smiles.

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Blair Spookily @blairloudly.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

trial and error would be great names for twins

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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I might have talked while I slept and said something embarrassing but I assure you that it was just asleep of the tongue.

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