iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by Bob Heller

Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 15/01/2026

I've developed a habit of snapping a rubber band on my wrist and I have no idea how I'm going to quit.

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 23h

a necklace for your wrist is called a wristlace

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Heard somebody in the office ask if anybody had seen their "cunt tater" but quickly realized they said "container" and I lost interest.

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Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

At work, a woman quit unexpectedly but it’s okay because we both owned a really similar shirt and it’s a pretty small office so that’s resolved.

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 14/05/2025

THE COUNT: VON! VONN CROW!!!! AH, AHH, AH!!!! ADAM DURITZ: Okay okay okay, I get the joke. Ha. Ha. THE COUNT: Vawt joke??? CROW PERCHED ON TREE BRANCH BEHIND ADAM DURITZ: Caw cawww!

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

refused to invite count chocula in and now he’s sitting on my porch pouting

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 06/04/2025

Most middle school boys can run a half mile faster than I can get out of a recliner.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

At my age, some days the glass is half full, some days the glass is half empty. Either way, I have to pee.

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 23/12/2024

This song reminds me of an old girlfriend who was my cherry pie.

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 29/05/2025

It's called quiche because "egg pie" sounds like something you'd look up on urban dictionary

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

I love my duvet cover so much I got a duvet cover cover.

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Hadas Weiss @hadas.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

ending my cover letter with “if you even care”

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 08/12/2025

If two in the pink and one in the stink is the shocker, then two in the pink and two in the stink is the spocker.

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

[jerking thumb towards Dracula] and then there’s THIS fucking guy

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

Who is your favorite Avenger? Mine is Jeff Gillooly.

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 21/11/2024

When I was 8, my best friend stole my boomerang and we got into a big fight. The next day his parents died in a car accident and I never saw him again. Jeff, if you’re reading this, I want my boomerang

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

I got Pac-Man fever. It's drivin' me crazy. I got moist warts on my groin and swollen lymph glands. It's syphilis. I have syphilis.

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rebar mcentire? @rebarmcentire.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

thinking about taking up pancreatitis

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 23/02/2025

I talked to my kid about vaping and it turns out it is really cool. I’m going to try it.

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rebar mcentire? @rebarmcentire.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I'm a pilot for Mariah Carey, every day I fly Mariah Carey around and she says thank you and I kiss her and we are in love and in an airplane

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cee-cee @mad-girl.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

dios fingers into the blood of my grammar victims, “AN” …aN idiot, idiot.

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 19/01/2026

I’d plant a hundred mulberry bushes if it meant I could watch monkeys chasing weasels around.

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rebar mcentire? @rebarmcentire.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I need to get adopted by someone with a big yard for me to run around in

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 10/12/2024

Kiss me like you don't know I have gonorrhea.

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rebar mcentire? @rebarmcentire.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

kissing you on the forehead and calling you a dumb bitch

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rebar mcentire? @rebarmcentire.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I'm not hitting on you I just can't shut the fuck up

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

How come I never get invited to baby showers? Maybe I want to eat some spinach dip from a bread bowl and guess the size of the slut's belly.

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Pandy Fackler 🍂 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

Why does every person that blasts music from their car have shitty taste in music?

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Are you a ghost, Bruce Willis? If you're a ghost, you have to tell me.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Relationship status: I’m upset I can’t find Hudson Hawk on my streaming services.

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 14/08/2025

FUN PRANK: Secretly replace his antiperspirant with perspirant, wait and watch as he sweats through his Walmart graphic tee.

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Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA @buckyisotope.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

ME: AI can never replace me AI: *starts making terrible posts* ME: well fuck

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

If I keep celebrating every time I reach nine thousand followers, my fatty liver is going to grow hands and muscly arms to choke me.

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

i stole this skeet from a idiot

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Dave Cactus @davecactus.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

My posts are all created by AI. An Idiot

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

i created an ai agent to skip the gym for me and now i skip the gym much faster

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 21/05/2026

yo you should use ai to make yo shit more professional

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

I had the newest, most efficient ai model analyze your mom and she’s a whore

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 26/03/2026

Yeah, ai is great but have you ever tried a finger in the butt?

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Leah McElrath @leahmcelrath.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

AP Stylebook warns against anthropomorphizing AI systems: “Avoid language that gives them human characteristics… Instead, explain what a system does, how well it performs, who built it and who could be affected by it.”

APStylebook @APStylebook
X.com
Artificial intelligence systems do not think, feel, want or understand. Avoid language that gives them human characteristics. This is called anthropomorphizing, when we ascribe human traits, emotions or behaviors to non-human things, such as animals or inanimate objects.
Instead, explain what a system does, how well it performs, who built it and who could be affected by it.

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Reposted by Bob Heller

Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 09/12/2024

Drawing dicks on blacked out, drunk guys' faces is childish and weak. Draw faces on their dicks. That... is next level shit.

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𝔏𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔏𝔬𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢 @fleurkenstein.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I like big Italian noses that kinda look like dicks but other than that I’m normal

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 22/12/2024

Just played a game of "bet I'm higher than you" with a centaur that lives in my garage and HE. DIDN'T. HAVE. A. CHANCE.

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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Caught my cat smoking a cigarette out behind my garage

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I was playing Meowdoku in the bathroom so long that my legs fell asleep and when I finally got up off the toilet there was a Spirit of Halloween in there.

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 06/05/2025

If you don't believe I keep my body shipshape, check out the barnacles on my scrotum.

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BlobStarrrr @blobstar.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Thunder rumbling in just in time for a slightly disturbing lullaby

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nige [ham] @sensualdad.bsky.social · 15/06/2023

i never know what to do when someone tries to fist bump me, so i just slowly put their fist in my mouth

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Bob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 05/04/2025

Can someone recommend a particular type of pizza for a person like me? I love meat.

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