Reposted by Shade 5C. Bukowski @thishurt.bsky.social · 05/10/2026I didn’t sleep much last night but while I did I dreamed a mob of people got mad at me for playing MarioKart. They stalked me and threatened to kill me and my cat so I had to throat punch a bunch of them. 3344
Reposted by Shade 5geist, now with double the hauntings @prettyvulgar.bsky.social · 14hsorry about my skeets. clearing out my drafts like they are last week’s leftovers. 04012
Reposted by Shade 5Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Think about it . . . If love didn't hurt so much, it wouldn't be called love . . . it would be called pepperoni pizza. 311359
Reposted by Shade 5Ambooooorino 👻 @nellieadjacent.bsky.social · 05/10/2026My body is a wonder-what-happened-land 415460
Reposted by Shade 5los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 16hAn Italian portrait studio called Bokeh di Beppo 13415
Reposted by Shade 5Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 16hOpen carrying a dildo. 2518060
Reposted by Shade 5Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 14hA high speed chase, but I’m on my Big Wheel. 611864
Reposted by Shade 5Kat Alderson 🙃 @klaybourne.bsky.social · 14hI don't need a Halloween handle; my posts are their own kind of horror. 16330
Reposted by Shade 5Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Messed the same reply up a few times and feel it'd probably be best to just go start a new life on the prairie 48734
Reposted by Shade 5Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 06/10/2026drowning in a plethora of cheese would fix me 69346
Reposted by Shade 5🌘🎃 Dad Moon Rising 🎃🌒 @dadmoonrising.bsky.social · 02/10/2026have you tried going out and listening to some good '80s punk rock about it? 063
Reposted by Shade 5Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 13hMy tires have always relied upon the air compressors of strangers. 16225
Reposted by Shade 5Josh Mankiewicz @joshmankiewicz.bsky.social · 6hApparently the Cover 6 isn’t the only thing he has trouble reading awfulannouncing.com/nfl/drake-ma...awfulannouncing.comDrake Maye casts doubt on moon landingPatriots quarterback Drake Maye admitted on WEEI that the one conspiracy theory he endorses is that man didn't land on the moon. 2411217
Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 5hher: is that your fifth pudding? me: yeah but they're protein puddings 33715
Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 06/10/2026static.klipy.comIts Cold Outside Freezing ColdALT: Its Cold Outside Freezing Cold 000
Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 06/10/2026static.klipy.comStar Wars: It's A Trap! Admiral AckbarALT: Star Wars: It's A Trap! Admiral Ackbar 010
Reposted by Shade 5Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 04/10/2026neglected to pack a heating pad so just using the travel iron on my neck 29220
Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 06/10/2026static.klipy.comMan in Comically Large Tan JumpsuitALT: Man in Comically Large Tan Jumpsuit 240
Reposted by Shade 5BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 05/10/2026People keep telling me I should write a book, and I just think about how I can barely commit to putting laundry away. 1016843
Reposted by Shade 5BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 06/10/2026My dog picking his bedtime stuffie out of the toy bin every night is everything to me. 27152597
Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 06/10/2026The wedding was cool and all but I think the bride was a little perturbed because I bested her in wardrobe changes. 05323
Reposted by Shade 5Clam_Daniel @clamdaniel.bsky.social · 06/10/2026fast jam: weeeeee slow jam: wurrrrrr 065
Reposted by Shade 5Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 03/10/2026If I was on Happy Days I woulda told Fonzie he was a creep. 2249
Reposted by Shade 5Twin Dad @twinsurvivalist.bsky.social · 10/09/2025Fuck pumpkin spice, let me know when they have candy corn lattes. 74715
Reposted by Shade 5Twin Dad @twinsurvivalist.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Time to clean my innie nipple 0125
Reposted by Shade 5𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 30/09/2026“Caregiver” means a person who gives care. Why doesn’t “caretaker” mean someone who takes care away? Just give me one week with the English language and I will make shit right. 1318755
Reposted by Shade 5lalalyds @lalalyds.bsky.social · 17/11/2025You can slap your pickle on my roast beef sandwich if you wanna 1314342
Reposted by Shade 5flamby ✨🐝 @flamby666.bsky.social · 01/10/2026the sexual charisma of a ketchup packet 810936
Reposted by Shade 5Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 06/08/2025Just sent a text that was emotional, vulnerable and included the phrase “I think I’m finally healing.” Unfortunately, I sent it to my plumber and he just now replied with “I’m proud of you!” 16507119
Reposted by Shade 5Siege @tellumsiege.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Sorry I’ve been so MIA lately I’ve been busy teaching dog tricks to babies 47623
Reposted by Shade 5Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Sorry everything’s on fire, I just watched a romcom. 04020
Reposted by Shade 5BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 29/09/2026what if we made out in the glow of the exterior sconce lighting at Burger King 211056
Reposted by Shade 5BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 02/10/2026that’s a nice cleft chin you have there, buttface 57535
Reposted by Shade 5A Shot of Steve™ ⚡️ @stevekoehler22.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Republicans contemplating a change in party symbol ….. from elephant to flaming dumpster. 073
Reposted by Shade 5Auntie Social @auntiesocial.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Look, I've been desperate but not "post a video repeating 'love me' while my face is onscreen" desperate 1286
Reposted by Shade 5Kellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Face down ass up.. me putting on socks 312337
Reposted by Shade 5inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Me: [forgetting the word coconut] one hairy bowling ball please 014452
Reposted by Shade 5Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Whenever I drive past the psychic's empty parking lot, I think, if I was psychic I would only be open on the days I knew people were coming. 419094
Reposted by Shade 5Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Crazy how everybody stops bothering you at work, if you just wear a big red bow on your tall green hat 13919
Reposted by Shade 5Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 06/08/2026spiderman defeating the bad guy by sneaking into the compound and laying millions of eggs 20469125
Reposted by Shade 5BAJA BLAST BLAINE @shrekromancer.gay · 06/10/2026people who can tolerate cool toned lighting in bedrooms are built different than I am 63910
Reposted by Shade 5Danny @mardigroan.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Mondays are like Godzilla ringing your doorbell. 05421
Reposted by Shade 5Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 05/10/2026There are two wolves inside me. One has irritable bowel syndrome and the other is just cranky. 0257
Reposted by Shade 5Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 02/10/2026I fear I may not be loving you all from afar enough. 516082
