iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 2h

How YOU doin’? I mean financially. Matt LeBlanc here for AARP

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 22h

Careful, the plate is hot. And the fork. Actually I microwaved all the dinnerware for 25 minutes.

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

[Ancient Greece] JOHN MCENROE: *sees Orion’s dog* YOU CANNOT BE SIRI- oh wait shit

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I wonder if anyone ever tossed a ship in a bottle into the ocean hoping that someone stranded on a desert island would find it and just absolutely lose their shit

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Welcome to the dollar store! Everything here is organized by Fuck You. That thing you need? It’s in the Fuck You aisle. Looking for something else? You guessed it, Fuck You. The dollar store. Fuck You™️

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Uncle Jeff 🌈 @picklerudd.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Husband: are you listening or are you just hearing Me: baby, I'm here and I'm conscious, take the W

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Someone at work once asked me what my guilty pleasure was and I immediately shot back “pleasure never makes me feel guilty.” I’ve seldom felt cooler than I did in that moment. Literally one minute later I tripped on an extension cord and hit my head on a whiteboard in front of the entire office

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Uncle Jeff 🌈 @picklerudd.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Post: Netflix is shooting its own version of Heated Rivalry Me: Yay! Post: a het romance Me: huh?

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Kalvin the Reindeer @kalvinmacleod.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

[Survivor] JEFF: eat this cow's tongue ME: *eats it* JEFF: and these live slugs ME: *eats them* JEFF: and this coleslaw ME: *snuffs out my own torch*

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Haggis was the original hot pocket

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Sunshine Jarboly @sunshinejarboly.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

one time when i was a kid my dad went to the store to buy some groceries & came home with a bag of burnt money & a police dog.

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Uncle Jeff 🌈 @picklerudd.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Live by the (shoulder) blade Die by the (shoulder) blade *clavicular homicide

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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Social media apps should have a "I find your obvious mental illness entertaining, but I don't want to encourage you" button.

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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 05/01/2025

*discovery of potatoes* 1st person: What should we do with these? 2nd person: *clenches fist* EVERYTHING.

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A.R. Moxon @juliusgoat.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I’m sorry but if there is no Kermit what stops me from murdering people? A genuine internal desire to not harm others? Uh keep dreaming aphibiests

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Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Is counting the number of dead contacts you have in your phone a sign of a midlife crisis?

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aric @aghastronaut.com · 29/09/2026

Hiring someone whose only job is to say, "Okay, everyone out. He needs his rest."

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Blather Wince Repeat @blatherwincerepeat.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

There are twelve gals named Shenandoah at this Buc-ee’s.

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Kashana @kashana.blacksky.app · 28/09/2026

Why do the rest of us bother to write jokes?

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Donkey BOO!-Tay 😱 @donkee.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

If we’re gonna make this work you’re gonna have to stop talking

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korpisworld @kwkorpi.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Nobody has ever casually purchased a tarp. Something has happened.

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

all of these cave paintings are about me that’s weird

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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Please stop calling me on my phone that's not what it's for

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Sunshine Jarboly @sunshinejarboly.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

one time my grandma used an american express traveler’s check to buy a live bald eagle from sears.

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Uncle Jeff 🌈 @picklerudd.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

"We're out of lube," I yell to my husband, shaking an empty milk carton and looking forlornly at my bowl of shredded wheat

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Orcspiration @orcspiration.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

RELISH IN THE SCREAMS OF YOUR ENEMIES! DO YOU NEED TO CLEAN YOUR GLASSES?

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Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

At work, a woman quit unexpectedly but it’s okay because we both owned a really similar shirt and it’s a pretty small office so that’s resolved.

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Uncle Jeff 🌈 @picklerudd.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

In the early mornings, when the sun is full, I allow it to fill my sight until my eyes grow weary and give me no more reports of the world

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Pookleblinky @pookleblinky.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Guys complaining about women at the gym: brother their breasts and asses, they arouse me Women complaining about men at the gym: I was *in the middle* of a squat rep when a guy pulled my headphones off in order to tell me I smell nice and then try to correct my form by pushing the barbell around

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Uncle Jeff 🌈 @picklerudd.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

The AI nursebot couldn't tell if it was supposed to medically treat me, have sex with me, or kill me, so it gave me continuous enema until I was no longer conscious

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Elle @elleisanisland.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Recession indicator

A box of Hamburger helper. At the top it says to try using hot dogs instead of ground beef

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Dan of the Year @downwithdan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Ah yes the circle of life

• Dispatched
Sep 25 23:03 pm
In Transit
Sep 26 09:52 am
Delayed
Sep 26 10:57 am
Held By Carrier
Sep 26 15:07 pm
Destroyed
Sep 26 15:08 pm

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no one @gregory-c-leavitt.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

an unexamined tradition is often a disease

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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Me: *skips a rock perfectly across a pond* Fred Flintstone: OH NO MY CELL PHONE

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Having sensory issues is fun because sometimes a turtleneck is the perfect companion for a cozy chilly autumn day and other times a murderer is strangling me

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Michael Jay McClure @mjmimages.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

POSSIBLE NEW IDIOMS oiling the swingset stop when you smell oatmeal placing ice cubes in orchids & hoping for bees subtle as stacked microwaves puppy, I ain’t a leg plink, plink! pearls coming off the strand rich in fruit peels backup singers taking a smoke break & THAT’S a Myanmar shave

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Uncle Jeff 🌈 @picklerudd.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Just another Sunday for me to remind everybody how much Jesus hated capitalism but never spoke about homosexuality

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dan mentos @danmentos.com · 27/09/2026

trying out this new airline called “Amtrak” and we’ve been taxiing for hours

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Leela 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @leela-after-dark.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Just survived the original jump scare Opening a can of Pillsbury biscuits

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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

You cat hates it when you see meow cuz you are saying it wrong

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dan mentos @danmentos.com · 27/09/2026

[shopping at costco] why do hot dogs come in packs of 192 but the buns come in packs of 146

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Mike Ginn @shutupmikeginn.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

porn is so deeply misogynistic. i just watched a video with dozens of performers going at it, and they literally hadn’t bothered to hire a single woman.

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Mike Ginn @shutupmikeginn.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

“Middlebrow” is the perfect level of brow for a movie to be. if you want smarter read a book if you want dumber read some posts

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

“Anti-AI people are all talk” speak for yourself compadre, the past couple of years I’ve been reanimating pallets worth of old Tamagotchis out in my garage, making them watch C-SPAN, and keeping them just hungry enough to kill

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NurseBrianRN @nursebrianrn.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

um, i have a name. geeze.

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I hugged a tow truck driver yesterday. Not sure why. He was not prepared

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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

We're getting the kind of storm here that would give Heathcliff a raging boner.

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