Reposted by batkarenbatkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 10/10/2025The E in Chuck E. Cheese stands for Eldritch 1110723
Reposted by batkarenbatkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 29/10/2025How nutrient-dense is Grimace meat, McDonald's? 68023
Reposted by batkarenJenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Doc appointment first thing on a Monday morning? They should provide breakfast. 4739726
Reposted by batkarenJohnny Normality (Spooky Mode) @probgobl.in · 02/10/2026YOU ARE BEING LIED TO. THE SO CALLED VEGETABLE CRISPER JUST MAKES THEM COLD. THE AIR FRYER MAKES THEM CRISPY. WAKE UP. 1428132
Reposted by batkarenPath (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 02/10/2026WE RANKED THE TEN MOST UNHINGED THINGS TO DO TO A CHILI DOG OUTSIDE A TASTEE-FREEZ (YOU WONT BELIEVE NUMBER 1 😱) 49131
Reposted by batkarenAmy Vants to Suck Your Blood 🩸 @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 3hwe shouldn’t be censoring genitals we should be censoring knees my god, those things are abominations 99425
Reposted by batkarencrumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Wolfman once, shame on you. Wolfman twice, fuck you Wolfman. 33717
Reposted by batkarenLady DEADtera 💀🍁😷 @ladylettera32.bsky.social · 01/10/2026So... I won a grant. Which means I can spend the next YEAR working on my manuscript and get paid to do it. 💖🎉 It still blows my mind that the government will just give people money to make art as long as they say the right incantation* (* write a good grant proposal) 10495
Reposted by batkarenBraden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 21hI don’t need fuck you money but it would be nice to stop having fuck me money 133997
Reposted by batkarenFun @funkelly.bsky.social · 02/10/2026i am CONVINCED this motherfucker flips a coin like harvey dent 2553
batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 02/10/2026“You have to fight for your right to party?” No thank you, young beasty men, I wish only to dwell above the ceiling boards in an attic bedroom with many books and a magical cat. 19818
Reposted by batkarengeekysteven @geekysteven.com · 01/10/2026Before I answer any of your questions about why I'm holding this hawk, let me ask 𝘺𝘰𝘶: are you the Hawk Police? 1164
Reposted by batkarenEnnui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 27/06/2026i don't know how to hug- i know how to survive, counting seconds, until you stop squeezing me 22391114
Reposted by batkarenMisery Highlight 🕷️ @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 01/10/2026So glad it’s open season for biting. Who’s first? 04317
Reposted by batkarenWoodrow Peel 🆗🆒 @woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Ken Paxton: I wasn't effective enough at my job to protect Texans from a child predator 44671156
Reposted by batkarenSandra Newman @sannewman.bsky.social · 12/01/2025Writing tip: Improve your book instantly by giving it a narrator who's a better writer than you. 3389972
Reposted by batkarenTippi Hedren Collider @linanneblack.bsky.social · 29/09/2026You ask if I'm over it, and I give you my answer, by way of pyroclastic cloud. 05422
Reposted by batkarencap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Careful, the plate is hot. And the fork. Actually I microwaved all the dinnerware for 25 minutes. 514354
Reposted by batkarendan mentos @danmentos.com · 08/09/2026in my day if we wanted to figure out what word to say next we had to do the billions of matrix multiplications in our own heads 122153
Reposted by batkarenIt's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 01/10/2026One huge problem with AI is that it was designed to have the ethics of a billionaire 6443106
batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Home Depot just blowing through its uranium budget mutating normal skeletons into 12-footers 16316
Reposted by batkaren🎃HalloDeeny🎃 they/them @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Say what you will about frat boys 8658
batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Fat Bear WEEK? Some of us celebrate our voluptuous ursine gods YEAR-ROUND! 3567
Reposted by batkarentaffy bennington @singwithtaffy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026vex the humans in your gene pool and place of employment by opening a portal to a neutron star 14613
Reposted by batkarenResident Warren G. Harding @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social · 26/09/2026"It's tacky to drink iced coffee in an interview" buddy I think it's tacky to not offer your employees full medical and dental, we are not the same 118958
Reposted by batkarenfuturedadOfTwo🙋🏻♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 30/09/2026a blinker to show you’re changing moods 918156
Reposted by batkarenmean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 21/09/2026I better get my act together if I am going to summon six strangers to live in my apartment building and try to outwit each other and look for clues to my inheritance after hearing my will, thus cementing my reputation as an eccentric tycoon 410018
Reposted by batkarenJerry @allhailjerry.myatproto.social · 28/09/2026For what I pay to live in southern California, you’d think they could keep the moon in focus 0195
Reposted by batkarenal-boo @captainacabairbud.myatproto.social · 28/09/2026no this is my circus, that’s not the problem at all. the thing is, though, those aren’t my monkeys 26415
Reposted by batkarenzappa-szep @zappaszep.bsky.social · 25/08/2026the weird thing is she has nothing to be embarrassed about today 2435
Reposted by batkarenFrovo @frovo.bsky.social · 28/09/2026the press pool has a chance to do the funniest thing 0769
batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Bedbugs actually anesthetize you before biting so you won't wake up. Now sleep tight, and don't let…ah well, not much to be done there… 1416
Reposted by batkarenSorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Libra: Your season is here! Touch grass! Pet a dog! Toss that corpse that’s just been gathering dust in the woodshed into the bog! Skip rope! 3303101
batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 25/09/2026My partner stared at me lovingly and said, “I’m very proud of you.” So I replied, “Imagine if I ever accomplish anything!” 05611
Reposted by batkarenchris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Everyone says they want a scab pile until you actually present them with a pile o' scabs. 46122
Reposted by batkarenJohn Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 13/09/2026“Making friends is hard.“ —Dr. Frankenstein 225390
batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 24/09/2026the mugger stares at me and starts slow-pumping out hand-sanitizer 39623
Reposted by batkarenGreg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 24/09/2026enough with these fruit scented shampoos. where are the fried chicken scented shampoos 2724268
Reposted by batkarenLock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 04/09/2025Welcome to The United States, we put all the horrible people in charge 315129
Reposted by batkarensweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 21/09/202638 bsky users to be sacrificed for the autumn harvest 46647120
batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Pepperidge Farm remembers… 🎶 the twenty first night of September 17325
Reposted by batkarenUncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 18/09/2026i've gone from the guy you'd go up to at a concert because i looked like i probably sold weed to the guy you go up to because i look like someone who probably knows where the bathroom is 1126638
batkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Clowns to the left of me Jokers to the right Mannequins by the door Antique dolls on the bed Please hurry, Batman! 17312
Reposted by batkarenGrimm @grimmreality.bsky.social · 18/09/2026My neighbors get nervous when I haven't used my bullhorn in a while and they fuckwell should. 1267
