iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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it’s like no one wants to let me run them through with my sword anymore

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Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 6h

The fact that September is all that stands between August and October is ridiculous. Those are two very different states of being. Feel like there should be at least one more month in-between them to ensure a smooth handover.

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

The character will be Scottish. His name will be Mr. Scott. His nickname will be Scotty. We don't want to confuse the audience.

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

Me: I wish I had a nickname. Coworker: You do.

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 7h

Well, if we're being historically accurate, they called her Chlamydia Jane. But, it's true, she was a good shot.

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

back in the day, my mom my dad my sister my brother & i all had the same phone number & now everyone in the fam has different phone numbers & i can’t remember any of them & they’re in my contacts but not the ones in my eyes & ok idk where i was going with this

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

please tell us the name of the lady who thwarted the RAF terror plot cuz vans were parked on her road. is it karen , it’s karen, isn’t it 🤔

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

nana was quite secretive she always kept something up her sleeve (a tissue) 😬

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Μαρια Κιτρινη @greekheanen.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I talked to some kids about encyclopedias and they thought I was having a stroke

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Yes, obviously it's a tuxedo t-shirt. We're at a wedding, Sharon.

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

When does Rod Serling come out to explain that this is just a parable about Hell?

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Amy @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

my toxic trait is enumerating all my toxic traits for you before we even have coffee together

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Josh Mankiewicz @joshmankiewicz.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Game recognizes game

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 28/09/2023

Photographer: ok. You two hold hands, & you, in the back, hold a gun to that guy’s head. Nice. I’ll add blush in post.

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Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 14h

While we were away some birds in the neighborhood built & moved into a 1,400-square foot 2-bedroom Cape Cod in our backyard.

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 12h

I worked in advertising for over two decades and I can promise you that the concept for Liberty Biberty came from someone who woke up on deadline day hung over as fuck with zero plan. We used to call those “pet rocks” - ideas so stupid that in the right room you could make them sound brilliant

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Blather Wince Repeat @blatherwincerepeat.bsky.social · 8h

Doc says Mom’s brittle bones can’t take another fall, so we moved her into a bouncy castle.

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 15h

Yeah I hear voices but they're not yours so no witty banter or coffee or dinner or monogamy or maybe having little voices of our own someday, just unrequited I'm the special one to do crazy alone things

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 20h

Someone at work once asked me what my guilty pleasure was and I immediately shot back “pleasure never makes me feel guilty.” I’ve seldom felt cooler than I did in that moment. Literally one minute later I tripped on an extension cord and hit my head on a whiteboard in front of the entire office

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Nuclear Winter @4slars.bsky.social · 15h

They say you never know what other people are going through, but I do know my perpetually loud neighbor is experiencing some slow leaks after I threw tacks in his driveway.

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crumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

I need to borrow some money and not pay it back.

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 21h

I visited Intercourse, PA, and let’s just say it did not live up to my expectations.

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

refused to invite count chocula in and now he’s sitting on my porch pouting

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Frances Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 28/09/2026

[discovering the source of all of your darkest fears and deepest insecurities] *boop*

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

i brought baklava to a gun fight and everyone complemented me on my flaky layers before i got shot

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

warning: seven days after reading one of my posts i climb out of your phone and stare disgustedly at your filthy microwave

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stefan @stefanthinks.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

ska was invented because your mom said you have to let your cousin join your band and he showed up with a trombone

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Pru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Me: *skips a rock perfectly across a pond* Fred Flintstone: OH NO MY CELL PHONE

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stefan @stefanthinks.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

they should make lunchables for kids too

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I’m sorry – I need to take this call. It’s my undertaker

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Your lack of empathy is telling. Who cares why they packed so many clothes for a three-hour tour.

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Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 23h

This is such a relief. I really didn't want to end up in an emergency room trying to explain a dumpster-related head injury.

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Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 22h

Bad days last a decade, great days last an hour. Them’s the breaks kid. Now pass the Corn Nuts.

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 22h

I'm looking back over my life and I'm seeing a lot of plot holes.

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Haggis was the original hot pocket

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Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Yeah, yeah. *vague gesture* Nobody has trust issues until they try to decide which person they'd ask to brace the ladder they're about to climb.

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Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

My cats are looking at me with little sneers like, "Your algebra can't help you now."

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Blather Wince Repeat @blatherwincerepeat.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

“Ixnay!” I trumpet, alerting the HOA that I’m a bilingual naysayer.

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Welcome to the dollar store! Everything here is organized by Fuck You. That thing you need? It’s in the Fuck You aisle. Looking for something else? You guessed it, Fuck You. The dollar store. Fuck You™️

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

- It's obviously a dorsal fin. Did you really need me to tell you that? - Well doctor, I didn't have it yesterday.

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

A porno where he takes her out for a nice meal first but they have to wait too long and they fill up on bread and then have to force down the steak and lobster so his IBS flares up and he spends the evening in the hotel bathroom while she watches Antiques Roadshow. Too sexy?

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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

A full-length movie about the cowboy those other guys murdered because his salsa was made in New York City

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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

As I get older and injure myself more and more, I wish I had paid attention to first-aid in class instead of writing shit in Metallica font on notebook covers

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Tippi Hedren Collider @linanneblack.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

The tailings from our conversation are still poisoning the ground water of my first impression of you.

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 08/12/2024

I couldn't shoot a deer but under the right circumstances I would probably slap one in the face

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PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

LOVE TO FALL ASLEEP AT 9 AND WAKE UP AT TWO A.M.

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I wonder if anyone ever tossed a ship in a bottle into the ocean hoping that someone stranded on a desert island would find it and just absolutely lose their shit

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A.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

There’s a 98% chance that my dog is going to excite-pee when he sees me, and only slightly lesser odds that I will when I see him.

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

- It's obviously a dorsal fin. Did you really need me to tell you that? - Well doctor, I didn't have it yesterday.

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