iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

That’s an easy one to fake though. Right when you walk in and she takes your credit card, ask her if she knows your name. Then you'll have no doubt.

000

Reposted by mr coffee

Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 7h

there's an alternate timeline where shorts are called pants and pants are called longs

56023

Reposted by mr coffee

stefan @stefanthinks.bsky.social · 2h

i thought having a sugar momma would be fun but the constant ants were a problem and the relationship dissolved when we tried to have sexy time in a jacuzzi and she turned into simple syrup

1187

Reposted by mr coffee

Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 3h

Don’t argue with morons. Even when you win, you’re kinda losing.

311139

Reposted by mr coffee

Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 3h

I’ve had the same stomach ache for six days, I think that’s probably a good sign.

55525

Reposted by mr coffee

stefan @stefanthinks.bsky.social · 3h

computer: enter new password me: fortnight computer: error—password is two weeks

0153

Reposted by mr coffee

🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 13/12/2024

computer: enter new password me: eek_eek computer: error—password is two eek

22971114

Reposted by mr coffee

Fixins’ Bar @fixinsbar.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

Got a side hustle teaching people how to get a side hustle, so if anybody wants to learn how to get a side hustle teaching others how to get a side hustle, hit me up

0147

Reposted by mr coffee

Kristi Yamaguccimane @wapplehouse.bsky.social · 10h

A little known fact about the CARS universe, is that post-World War 2 many Volkswagens, BMWs and Mercedes fled to Cargentina to avoid the Nuremberg Time Trials

482653445

Reposted by mr coffee

Jax @ehhjax.bsky.social · 5h

Friday really needs to cut the whole work thing out and join the weekend

1248

Reposted by mr coffee

Icarus 🎃 Dumpsterfire @pluperfectidiot.bsky.social · 5h

Pharmaceutical-grade grilled cheese

55422

Reposted by mr coffee

Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 15h

thanks but if i need advice i will google it to find the relevant information likely contained in a reddit thread that i will then screenshot forget to read and delete in the not too distant future

17533

Reposted by mr coffee

👻 L.T. Vargus, undead and still disgraced author 👻 @ltvargus.bsky.social · 7h

all these dang smart glasses are giving the concept a bad rap which sucks because the ones I invented are completely unproblematic, nothing pervy! they’re called HindSight and they zoom in and give a perfect 20/20 view of the nearest butt

2209

Reposted by mr coffee

BlobStarrrr @blobstar.bsky.social · 7h

Sorry about the well actuallying

02614

Reposted by mr coffee

korpisworld @kwkorpi.bsky.social · 6h

The nice thing about being possessed is somebody finally has a plan for me.

03217

Reposted by mr coffee

Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 6h

a couple julie accounts followed me seven days ago and now one of them is crawling out of my television

56626

Reposted by mr coffee

Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 5h

WE RANKED THE TEN MOST UNHINGED THINGS TO DO TO A CHILI DOG OUTSIDE A TASTEE-FREEZ (YOU WONT BELIEVE NUMBER 1 😱)

46722

mr coffee @i.n33d.coffee · 6h

Me: Yeah I'll have a Diet Coke. Waiter: Is nectar of the gods ok? Me: Wait, what did I say?

184

mr coffee @i.n33d.coffee · 6h

They need some sort of anonymous recovery program for those of us that use too many paper towels but don't know how to stop.

094

Reposted by mr coffee

Devi 🦇 @deviwestside.bsky.social · 9h

A power outage as a kid: oooooh this is fun A power outage as an adult: fuck did I pay my electric bill

05710

Reposted by mr coffee

Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 10h

Ghosts are classist, which is why you never hear about haunted doublewide trailers

1111533

Reposted by mr coffee

James Damron @runswindows95.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

I'm reading a horror book in Braile. Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.

681842214

Reposted by mr coffee

Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 10h

I have to tell you all, I started the week with a bottle of patience, but the bottle is almost empty now.

89052

Reposted by mr coffee

T @mamafirefly.bsky.social · 19h

larping as myself

1187

Reposted by mr coffee

shezcrafti 🍕 @shezcrafti.com · 01/10/2026

They’re moving in herds. They DO move in herds.

A herd of vintage PianoSaurus toy pianos

54211

Reposted by mr coffee

🦊 🩵🐦‍⬛ 🧙Poofy Fox & Crow, for Bartleby Endeavors 🎥 @foxy99.bsky.social · 10h

Almost 8am and I’d really like to get some sleep last night.

0179

Reposted by mr coffee

Misery Highlight 🕷️ @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 8h

It’s a good day to evolve I say as I morph into a bat and fly out of hell

35829

Reposted by mr coffee

Travis comma bitch @prof-hinkley.bsky.social · 8h

Welp, time for my wife and kids all to tell me that their low tire pressure warnings are going off

9898

Reposted by mr coffee

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 9h

Still punk rock I tell myself while trying to find my old Bose wearable speaker because these dam pods make my ears itch

23710

mr coffee @i.n33d.coffee · 10h

He's a 6.3 but then he turned his baseball cap backwards.

011

Reposted by mr coffee

Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 12h

I'd forgotten how sexy Mother Nature's curves can be.

45631

Reposted by mr coffee

Evie Nyx @evienyx7.bsky.social · 12h

Will whoever is performing human sacrifices to the sun, can you please stop? I just want some good fall weather rn

77212

Reposted by mr coffee

Skip, the Online New Yorker (terrifying, i know) @badposter.lol · 30/09/2026

hating on me is just a weak attempt at engagement bait

12692

Reposted by mr coffee

Astr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · 12h

If a kid’s melting down, you can say some shit like tears are good. Now you’re gonna grow & blossom even more when you’re done. They don’t look at you like stfu lady, but instead like you’re sensei. Now w adults—you gotta slap em around a bit

14317

Reposted by mr coffee

andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 11h

Where do you guys keep your car utensils

2814641

Reposted by mr coffee

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 15h

This day in history. 1967. Police with TV crews raided The Grateful Dead's house in San Francisco arresting eleven individuals for possession of marijuana and felony hairiness. One individual, Pigpen something, was charged with aggravated littering.

36131

Reposted by mr coffee