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5oclockeveryday

@5oclockeveryday.bsky.social
1.2K followers 826 following 287 posts

Hi! This is the space they gave me to write something WITTY and BRILLIANT so that you'll want to follow me, and if I had something, this is where I'd post it.

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Sam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · 23/12/2024
If I were a transformer I’d probably be a couch.
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👻 Crujería 🦇 @carnitas.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
in my late hurties
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
Fleetwood Mac: Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone Me: Yes. That’s how calendars work. Why not try endlessly thinking about tomorrow?
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
In case of emergency, break on through to the other side.
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Mal a BOO 👻 @hallowedverses.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
If it doesn't feel like opening a window after rain, I don't want it
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Megs @therealmegs.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scanned it
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Kellaweena @kellalena.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
My ponytail is so high, it’s eating Cheetos and watching South Park
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Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
You look like someone who would take their sleeping pills with an energy drink
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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
It was funny, but in a public television kind of way
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Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
they have overdeveloped most of my old amok running places
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
I’m so introverted I won’t even talk to my other personalities.
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Glenn Evans @vinylsol.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
You know when you reach the end of a chapter and read "The door opened and Troy was stunned..it was Laura!"..and you're supposed to go "OMG! Laura!" but instead you start thumbing back through 200 pages muttering "who the hell's Laura??"
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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
The air just wants you to close your eyes. It has so many tiny things you cannot see anyway to do so what's one more secret. A second family in space that's what
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Misery 👻 @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
The computer chair I used for riding down the driveway broke a while back, if you even care.
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CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
I'm a really hot psychic. You could say I'm psychotic.
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Jax @ehhjax.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
The gift of presence
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Carole Boo @caroleu.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Please remember me fondly. (I’m not doing anything dangerous, just in general.)
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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
All my friends are idealists and who swear a lot. Fuck you
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Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Had some corndogs for dinner tonight, idk maybe everything’s gonna be alright.
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AnnaAnkaAnia @samerealwoman.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
You should always agree to a quick 30-min drink with your best friend because that 1.5 hours can be the best 6 hours of your life.
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Lizzlepants 🐒 @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
I can’t live with anyone who leaves leftover time on the microwave
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
you’re a spiritual being having a human experience? that’s nice. i’m a sack full of wire hangers and sour gummy worms who seethes.
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Tyver Foucault @thedoorthedoor.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Everyone thinks the vegetables are the garden. But the garden is the soil and the garden is the the trellises and the garden is the insects and the garden is the sun. Remember that when you look in the mirror. You are more than what you see in the glass
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Astr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
Revolutions can’t exist w out togetherness, sillyface
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Tim 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
They talk about "legacy" like it's a new cologne. It smells an awful lot like tax evasion and horse manure.
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crumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
Inked in smoke upon the wind.
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 21/01/2024
My dress code is business casualty.
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
*sings “shoo fly, don’t bother me” to try and get rid of a fly *other flies begin to gather around as they become enchanted with my voice
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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
Have I ever eaten a moth? Yes. Would I eat a moth again? Probably. Is it weird that I'm telling you this because you didn't ask? Absolutely. But let me ask you this: Do you have any moths?
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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Love my vinyl records, the weird crackly sounds, the inconvenience of them all.
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Sunshine Jarboly @sunshinejarboly.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
one time my uncle tried to recreate the time travel scene from back to the future except instead of using a delorean with a flux capacitor to go 88 mph he used his buick skylark & a margarita blender to plow into a vape store.
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Indu Pillai @indupillai01.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
Do not go raging into that oblivion. Ease, ease, ease against the mangling of all magic.
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Roxy @laboxalaroxa.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Maybe we're all doing the best that we can. I'm probably not but whatever.
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SeaTea @tierno158.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
I'm trying to figure out what type of old person I'm going to be. I pretty much settled on wearing clothing and loving humor that's deemed age-inappropriate but beyond that there's still a lot of decisions to make.
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🌯👻 Boorito Zen 👻🌯 @burritozen.net · 27/06/2026
Decided I'm going to be that mohawked weirdo grandpa that says what's really on his mind while also remaining kinda woke. Also maybe some light shoplifting.
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T @mamafirefly.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
sharing music with the stars or mosquitoes, not sure yet
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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Fuck a credit score. I need a way to quantify a person's kindness.
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SpecialKimtamine™ 🚩🏴‍☠️🇮🇹🇺🇸🦈 @lorazekim.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Big shoutout to the first person who left the party early breaking the seal for other people to say they are heading out too
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mike @staykinduniverse.swifties.social · 27/06/2026
incite some peace today
a peace sign saying incite peace
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Paused Mortem 💀 @pausedmortem.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Everything will fall into place. Not exactly the right place, but a place nonetheless.
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lalalyds @lalalyds.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Sometimes I just miss... Sometimes I just wish... Sometimes I just...
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Damnit Janet @damnitjanet.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
Yeah, sorry i'm late - been trying to explain the concept of time to my cat
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cosmic angel @itcleb.bsky.social · 01/03/2026
nice business card doofus can i turn it into a frog origami in front of you?
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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 01/03/2026
Witches call it sky clad, but I found out it's really called a misdemeanor.
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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 11/05/2023
when life hands you lemons, you have been chosen. it is time. there is no turning back now. you are the Lemon Keeper.
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Rachel @slightlycaustic.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
So much to say but no words for it,is just my new baseline now.
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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
I’m not saying I’m depressed, but I’m listening to the Smiths as a pick me up.
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Farm Goth 🇵🇸 @poemsandfungus.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
My friends who live in tents or cars or have 90 roommates are like "which orgs can get aid into which countries right now? I think I have five bucks. I'm trying to learn Farsi so I can see what's going on in this news server" and the lake housers are like "timeline cleanse. What brings you joy?"
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PeculiarAmelia @theartfulldodger.bsky.social · 01/03/2026
The neighbour is playing an Otis Redding record and in another house a baby cries inconsolably. The rain is soft and my seat on the porch is gentle and human
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