mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 7hThere should be a sports team with a marching band that's just one person ominously playing a large drum in a slow rhythm like on a viking galley 1313
Reposted by mindflakesmave @mave.bsky.social · 01/10/2025I’m not saying it would fix everything, but have we considered a nationwide dance craze 2737792
Reposted by mindflakesDVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 22ha ant tried to go in my phone. thats for ME to go in 1867
mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 12hI'm a big fan of lurking, looming, scurrying, scrambling, skulking, skittering, scrabbling and clambering, but at the end of the day nothing beats a good scamper 07812
Reposted by mindflakesMarly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I like this time of year because I can say things like, "I could see your creepy scarecrow eyes glowing from the road! Cool!" or "I like your incredibly large skeleton!" and nobody thinks twice. 213546
Reposted by mindflakesPAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 28/09/2026A warm, soothing, buttery bowl of butter. 16020
mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 17hI've read through my employment contract 3 times and at no point does it specify that I can't unleash bees in the office 312525
Reposted by mindflakeskorpisworld @kwkorpi.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Nobody has ever casually purchased a tarp. Something has happened. 1518369
Reposted by mindflakesVillein 🔒 @villein.bsky.social · 28/09/2026few are doing it like me. and for good reason 08918
mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Most people don't expect you to fire a trebuchet at their house, that's what makes it such a fun surprise 428059
Reposted by mindflakestara @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 28/09/2026“Age is just a number” (friend who just unlocked his spin attack at 43 years old) 127045
Reposted by mindflakeslauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 28/09/2026hope everyone vanquished their enemies this weekend 4360356
mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026It's great when people post a photo of their very ordinary-looking dog and caption it "the most perfect dog in the world" because you know what? You're absolutely right. My initial appraisal was flawed 415013
Reposted by mindflakesBlather Wince Repeat @blatherwincerepeat.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Join the Month of the Month Club™ for only $8 a month! 67027
Reposted by mindflakesGNU C Mane @andy.scrolling.site · 27/09/2026An authentication request has been sent to HARP. To verify your identity you must PLAY ENCHANTING MELODY ON HARP 112316
Reposted by mindflakesworms cited @christa.bsky.social · 27/09/2026In the 1600s you could write treatises for your friends as a gift. But friends don’t want treatises anymore 1834552
mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Matching speed with an ice cream truck doing 70mph on the highway and leaping onto it with a cutlass between my teeth 115525
Reposted by mindflakesslime and goop @snakeroot.bsky.social · 26/09/2026The brain has a mind of its own 0567
Reposted by mindflakesSam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · 31/01/2025I’ve quit telling people that I disagree with them. Instead, I now say, “I’m gonna have to agree with myself on this one.” It’s self-positive, non-confrontational, and just weird enough to end the conversation. 1645395853
Reposted by mindflakesmindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 06/08/2025We all have that one friend who says "caw! caw!" and then snatches a hot dog off your plate and flies away 7576155
Reposted by mindflakesRob DenBleyker @robdenbleyker.com · 26/09/2026one of the greatest joys of life is pressing buttons and clicking your mouse and seeing things happen on your computer screen 1035352
Reposted by mindflakestara @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 05/11/2025You remind me of myself before I got trapped in an antique clock 219146
Reposted by mindflakesandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 13/09/2024There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done 5860571119
mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 26/09/2026My coworkers are using a special radar to track my movements through the ventilation system 37215
Reposted by mindflakesGreg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 26/09/2026pasta three meals a day is fine if they’re different shapes 1632997
Reposted by mindflakesjourneyman folklorist @aniceburrito.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Wet crumbs for lunch 8893
mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Keep your enemy on their toes by always doing the first thing they expect you to do. That's the last thing they'll expect you to do. 07017
Reposted by mindflakesGretchen von Tongeln @metalligretch.bsky.social · 25/09/2026It should always say "The End" when a movie is over, just to be safe. 77720
Reposted by mindflakesIllegalize Pessimism NOW @fuck-my-pissy.bsky.social · 24/09/2026opening a customers container of berries and snacking on them while i scan through the rest of their groceries 0809
Reposted by mindflakestinyobscurae @tinyobscurae.bsky.social · 25/09/2026hollowing out a book and placing a smaller book inside it—also hollow—inside that, another hollow book; it contains a smaller hollowed-out book; this contains a description of a gun 1506
Reposted by mindflakesDominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Got caught doing something nice (installing a bathroom towel rack onto the exterior driver’s side door of my neighbor’s car). 27017
mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Just right-clicked on my dog to view his properties but then I accidentally converted him to a PDF. Now I can't convert him back unless I sign up for a subscription. Does anyone know any free PDF-to-dog converters that aren't full of malware? 1419746
Reposted by mindflakesrob @ok-but-still.bsky.social · 24/09/2026my "every single light is the moon" mentality has produced mixed results for me as a moth 11019
Reposted by mindflakesNicolas Dream, PhD @afraidofwasps.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Every six months a supposedly "world-shatteringly rare" lobster is found and we are supposed to act like our lives are forever changed. Well I'm putting my foot down. 518515
Reposted by mindflakesSteady the squirrel @steadysquirrel.bsky.social · 24/09/2026“Home cooked” does not mean “good”. I’ve made meals I wouldn’t inflict on anyone 1081452107
mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Every 2-3 years my cat absorbs enough ambient psionic energy to emit a powerful beam that obliterates everything in a 12-mile radius. Apart from that she's a good girl 7413119
Reposted by mindflakesIllegalize Pessimism NOW @fuck-my-pissy.bsky.social · 24/09/2026listing the bartender all the insects I am currently aware of 16111
Reposted by mindflakesslime and goop @snakeroot.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Basically the key is to notice things that make you say ‘wow’ and say ‘wow’ 2708
mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Tired of fake friends who refuse to leave me unsupervised when there's an unattended forklift truck nearby 516648
Reposted by mindflakesblink-sun8tzu @suntzufuntzu.bsky.social · 16/11/2024rowed nineteen hours through fog and stormy seas to reach Monster Island, only to discover it's just a rock someone glued googly eyes to 1035877
Reposted by mindflakesViktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Typical Saturday. Put rotisserie chickens on my hands and ran into the ER screaming 434173
mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 23/09/2026You can do anything you put your mind to. Alternatively you can do nothing, which is often much easier and more relaxing 112133
Reposted by mindflakesYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 23/09/2026i still think there’s something supernatural going on in the bowling ball return machine 817621
Reposted by mindflakesVisible Cow @visiblecow.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Getting lost in a hedgemaze on my lunch break 2405
mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Just invented a new kind of fridge with an observation window so I don't have to worry about my leftover spaghetti being trapped in a state of quantum superposition 18010
Reposted by mindflakesSantana Abraxas @slime-golem.biz · 21/09/2026Thai food, hear my plea. Come to me, Thai food. Answer my summons. 3513
Reposted by mindflakesalexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 21/09/2026(trying to screw a light bulb into a bivalve mollusc) clamp 1325
Reposted by mindflakesnikk @nikk.ca · 19/09/2026this is your boss. from your work job. i'm gonna need you to come in asap. it's dark here and i'm scared 128049
mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 22/09/2026People find me approachable because I have no interiority. There's nothing going on behind my eyes and they love it. My dispassionate mechanical performance of human behavior is soothing and reassuring. 38714
Reposted by mindflakesmave @mave.bsky.social · 22/09/2026You’ll feel a deep and abiding sense of peace when you realize that it’s not things that make you happy. It’s stuff 025455
