Reposted by The Weed WitchFiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 9hAfter school specials did not prepare me for this 36724
Reposted by The Weed WitchJames Damron @runswindows95.bsky.social · 10hI've been researching colanders all day, and I feel strained. 813828
Reposted by The Weed Witchal-boo @captainacabairbud.myatproto.social · 19hi’m a boy, greg, am i back in town? 119926
Reposted by The Weed WitchFickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 11/10/2026Don’t invite me to your kid’s birthday party if you don’t want me to crane kick the piñata. 516868
Reposted by The Weed WitchSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 09/10/2026Analingus would be a perfect name for a Scottish nobleman 021
Reposted by The Weed WitchSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Perfect day to go to the bogs and enjoy the sublime colors of the cranberry harvest. Wave if you see me. I’ll be there sunning my perineum. 2723571
Reposted by The Weed Witchsweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026the hubris involved in assuming any alien would want to probe you 1123465
Reposted by The Weed Witch🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 28/10/2024if I had a boss I would simply jump on their head three times to defeat them 342005485
Reposted by The Weed WitchTwoSense @twosense.bsky.social · 06/10/2026fartled (when a fart scares you) 1919755
Reposted by The Weed WitchGef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 04/10/2026How long into a relationship before you can ask them to be part of the ritual 7539
Reposted by The Weed Witchsweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026turns out chipotle workers don’t like it when you yell “wrap that rascal” at them 415234
Reposted by The Weed Witchchris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Screaming "YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A NATURAL WOMAN" at a piece of wood. 413956
Reposted by The Weed Witchsweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026there are no bangers only zuul 715545
Reposted by The Weed WitchChestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 01/10/2026"This used to be my playground," I mutter to myself as I shovel wood chips into one of the thousands of furnaces fueling the lamps and televisions of the surface-dwellers. "This used to be my childhood dream." 03010
Reposted by The Weed Witchtrick-is-a-treat-kat @trickykat.bsky.social · 16/09/2026an octopus really only has octacles 29333
Reposted by The Weed WitchTara Shoe @tarashoe.bsky.social · 29/09/2026I keep singing the “dooo you wanna die” of toadies possum kingdom at intermittent parts of the day. that’s good right 1263
Reposted by The Weed WitchSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Please understand every time you insult me I sing the Journey lyrics a little louder 1617764
Reposted by The Weed WitchMarjorie James Keenan @unenthusiast.com · 24/09/2026If you are in line for sacrifice to the autumnal equinox, stay in line! 1177
Reposted by The Weed WitchEvie Nyx @evienyx7.bsky.social · 24/09/2026At this point in my life, "friends with benefits " are just my friends who have health insurance 673059386
Reposted by The Weed WitchMarjorie James Keenan @unenthusiast.com · 22/09/2026rolling into autumn like 934274
Reposted by The Weed Witch🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 22/09/2026absence makes the dick grow harder 14546
Reposted by The Weed WitchFiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 23/09/2026I’ve got 99 problems and I cause all of them myself 411943
The Weed Witch @the-weedwitch.bsky.social · 23/09/2026make your depression seasonal by liberally sprinkling pumpkin spice every fucking where you go 011
Reposted by The Weed WitchFrances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 18/09/2026fighting the affordability crisis by laying my own eggs 411429
Reposted by The Weed WitchBEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 22/09/2026If your butthole doesn’t smell like pumpkin spice by October, you’re simply not committed to the season. 1916245
Reposted by The Weed WitchSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 22/09/2026How is it that not a single billionaire/pedo has yet to be held accountable and probably never will be while their thugs can continue to rip apart families anyhoo here’s Wonderwall 312234
Reposted by The Weed WitchBEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 22/09/2026I’m sensitive like the tip of an uncircumcised penis. 45316
Reposted by The Weed WitchGef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Why did they call it a trap door and not an open floor plan 49323
Reposted by The Weed Witchburn it all down @russbengtson.bsky.social · 16/09/2026*suspicious lobster wife* where did you get that shrimp *still confused lobster* you're never gonna believe this 32526503
Reposted by The Weed WitchJust Call Me Amanda🐈⬛🐈⬛ @amandabf.bsky.social · 17/09/2026Has anybody just tried punching him in the face really hard? 23913
Reposted by The Weed WitchEvie Nyx @evienyx7.bsky.social · 04/09/2026We as a society should hiss more 2024781
Reposted by The Weed WitchMr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Recently stopped talking to someone because they insisted on saying, “making love,” instead of, “fucking,” and I’m not capable of dealing with that. 1010035
Reposted by The Weed WitchAnastasia MacKenzie @theanastasia.bsky.social · 08/09/2026Ignore others as you would have them ignore you. 14914
Reposted by The Weed WitchParanormal Pandy 🎃 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 08/09/2026It was so kind of my ancestors to leave me their mental illness instead of money 420962
Reposted by The Weed Witchkorpisworld @kwkorpi.bsky.social · 08/09/2026The word “haberdashery” sounds like something a Victorian gentleman should be arrested for behind a train station. 24319
Reposted by The Weed Witchceej @ceej.online · 03/09/2026I do think “every rich person went insane during covid because it was the first time they’ve been inconvenienced in decades” felt a little reductive at first but damn if isn’t more and more compelling as the years drag on 193218894412
Reposted by The Weed WitchChaucer Doth Tweet @levostregc.bsky.social · 03/09/2026Datinge app for megalith enthuasistes Henge 1234778
Reposted by The Weed Witchcrumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 01/09/2026These trying times have shown us that ordinary, everyday people are capable of truly staggering evil. 22910
Reposted by The Weed WitchZeroooO0OooooO0Ooooo @scootercomputer.bsky.social · 02/09/2026I appreciate people can still be optimistic about the future despite all of the evidence to the contrary 062
Reposted by The Weed Witchorcus @goblin.news · 02/09/2026I would NEVER answer a door, once you start talking to doors it’s OVER 25712
Reposted by The Weed WitchAmanda @hellomanders.bsky.social · 01/09/2026still thinking about this 2163
Reposted by The Weed Witchtujungadude, but pissed and sad @tujungadude.bsky.social · 31/08/2026**REAL** real men drive cars with their feet 0616
Reposted by The Weed WitchFrances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 31/08/2026benadryl at night, hat man's delight 121279229
Reposted by The Weed WitchSam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · 30/01/2025Come by my head when I’m not there and pick up all your shit. 28845
Reposted by The Weed WitchMarjorie James Keenan @unenthusiast.com · 31/08/2026what does not kill me bides its time 14220
Reposted by The Weed WitchKellaweena @kellalena.bsky.social · 31/08/2026I zoned my way into this and I will zone my way out 018676