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Juliett

@retniw-nuf.bsky.social
3.6K followers 874 following 32 posts

bsky.app/profile/did:plc:evq7z2t6z7… Hush, little baby, don't say a word And never mind that noise you heard It's just the beasts under your bed In your closet, in your head.

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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
You can be anything you want to be, so be annoying.
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strange ranger @lithiumsucks.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
I'll influence you right off a cliff.
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Lizzlepants 🐒 @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 11/04/2025
If you wanna be my lover you should definitely not “get with my friends”
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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
"So, why do they call you Edward Scissorhands?"
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
Yes, yes, but how does that relate to the one thing I'm obsessed with
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Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 26/07/2025
Not all who wander are lost. Some of us just don’t have anything to do.
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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 27/07/2025
Suckitdry69 on Reddit just told me I need to be kinder to myself
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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 27/06/2025
*at McDonalds This happy meal better fuckin work.
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[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
How attractive am I? Let’s just say a certain Rugby team in the Andes would call me a li’l snack
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
When the going gets tough the tough do something, I wouldn't know what.
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RealLifeMommy3 @reallifemommy3.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
The time I spend at home stressing about my job should count as work hours
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Nappy Dolemite @nappydolemite.bsky.social · 06/05/2025
*heavy French accent* "You seem a little... How do you say... 'Fucky.'"
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Juliett @retniw-nuf.bsky.social · 03/05/2025
How do I feel? Mostly with my hands and sometimes my tongue. Never with my heart.
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𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.lol · 03/05/2025
I stretched this morning and my moans are now available on PornHub in all but 17 states.
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Uncle Kermit @unclekermit.bsky.social · 18/10/2023
I love clowns. I love how they murder people and live in the sewers.
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 03/05/2025
saturdays are for leisurely crying on your shower floor instead of the quick sob you have down there mon-fri
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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
I consider both insults and compliments an attack and will respond accordingly.
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turbo jerry @turbojerry.bsky.social · 03/05/2025
i’ll probably die not knowing why my aunt gets so close to my face when she talks
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Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 03/05/2025
Have you ever played quiet tennis? It's the same as regular tennis, but without the racket.
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
Once I make 3 friends, it’s over for the rest of you average people
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PhantomDeeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 30/04/2025
Your inspirational post truly inspires me to block you
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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 16/04/2025
Pencilling a five minute giggle fit into my agenda for tomorrow
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Skellyton 🦇 @infinitefinite.blog · 13/04/2025
[one of my skeets receives four (4) reskeets] me: I'm an influencer
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PhantomDeeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
GPS, but for avoiding anyone you know
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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
Name 500 reasons I ask for too much.
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Midge @midge.bsky.social · 29/03/2025
I act pretty tough for someone who lives in constant fear of ceiling fan blade flying off
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 30/03/2024
This day in history. 1972. The Royal Canadian Navy issued its last daily rum ration and my friend Moose and I dropped out of Sea Cadets.
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 06/10/2023
*ironically creates weapon from olive branch*
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Sam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · 30/03/2025
I thought life was smiling at me, but my anxiety says it was probably just baring its teeth.
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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 29/03/2025
I am the opposite of that scene in Dirty Dancing. I have not had the time of my life and Patrick Swayze is dead.
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C 🇨🇦 @coffeeinhand.bsky.social · 27/03/2025
It's all fun and games until the games are finished and the fun is over
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AnnaAnkaAnia @samerealwoman.bsky.social · 25/01/2024
Bad news, you can't make people treat you well. Good news, you can kick them out of your life.
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Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 30/03/2025
I wish I felt my successes as much as I feel my mistakes
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 30/03/2025
when Billy Corgan said “the world is a vampire” I felt that shit
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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 04/09/2023
“Sorry, I have to take this call." "That's a banana. And it's half eaten." *covers banana with hand "I don't tell you how to do business."
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 29/03/2025
I finally told my cats they were adopted
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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 30/03/2025
Them: Hugs not drugs Me: Shirtless hugs and lots of drugs
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Jerry @allhailjerry.myatproto.social · 23/03/2025
Job interview tip: always follow up with a Thank You note and some photos of the interviewer sleeping.
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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 22/03/2025
Love fucking up a spelling so bad autocorrect is like "welp you're on your own now"
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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 19/03/2025
I wonder how many sad country songs could be written about my life.
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Nappy Dolemite @nappydolemite.bsky.social · 12/03/2025
I spend an awful lot of time in flight-or-fight mode for someone doing no fighting-or-flying
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 10/03/2025
[Abruptly stops hula hooping] Not guilty, your Honor.
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 03/03/2025
Today’s workout. 1 hour treadmill. Light weights. 2 hours wrestling my demons.
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 18/03/2025
are they still considered intrusive thoughts if your brain seemingly lays out the red carpet for them
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Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · 19/03/2025
Better get to bed early tonight. I have a long day of being a fucking bitch tomorrow
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