Sign in

Michael sisto

@sistosterone.bsky.social
92K followers 164K following 4.5K posts

Weird Comedy person 👨🏻‍🦱 If anything here offends you blame your parents for raising such a dooshnozzle. Tell your friends Malibu, Ca / Guantánamo Bay, Cuba 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇 www.instagram.com/sistosterone

PostsRepliesMedia
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
If your kid is bullying my kid, and my kid has tried to tell your kid to stop many times and your kid doesn’t, my kid has been instructed to punch your kid in the face 
0130
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I had no idea it would take the American people 10 years to realize Trump is full of shit. I thought it was pretty obvious immediately.
3213251493
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
1262
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
44816
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
It’s crazy how a country with $40 trillion in debt is giving me a credit score. Read the room.
3359
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
0236
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
0268
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
2347
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
0216
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
15518
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I guarantee that if Trump said “the first born of every family in America is to die,” the spineless Republican pieces garbage in his administration would support it. 100 percent 
1204
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Hey Republicans, grow a f*cking spine and finally oust this piece of sh*t monster!!
2213
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
I take my popcorn, blend it up, put some extra butter in there and drink it
051
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.
3172
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
02511
Reposted by Michael sisto
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
0329
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
I saw a snowman with a six pack. It was an abdominal snowman.
0263
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
If you still like Trump, you’re either horribly misinformed or you belong in jail 
0221
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
1324
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
0278
Reposted by Michael sisto
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
If you voted for Trump three times, then you should be in jail
5858574
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
0329
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
If you drive really fast on the freeway, you’re obviously incredibly cool
080
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
If you think you’re getting a tariff refund check, you’re d*mber than I thought
1133
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Sounds crazy I know
2294
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
If you voted for Trump three times, then you should be in jail
5858574
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
03212
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
1235
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Haven’t lost my virginity yet because I never lose!
2191
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
If your cow doesn't produce milk, is it a milk dud?
2211
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
Do Transformers have car insurance or life insurance?
1141
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
My daughter is studying to be a surgeon. I just hope she makes the cut.
0212
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
I have a pet termite. I named him Clint. Clint eats wood.
0448
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
You can’t spell hatred without red hat
15710
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
I’m somehow getting stronger with age. I can now lift $100 worth of groceries with one hand!
0372
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
2214
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
People don’t fake depression. They fake being OK. Remember that. Be kind. 🙏
05925
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
F U
0318
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
Tesla drivers eat Snickers upside down so they can feel that veiny texture on their tongue
5264
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
I can’t call someone a dumbf*ck at work, so instead I say, “Walk me through your thought process.”
5568
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 31/05/2026
People only write congrats because they can’t spell congrajlashins
0341
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
Pedoph*les are often mistaken for Santa Claus because whenever they enter a child’s room, they leave with an empty sac
190
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.
080
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
Why don't trees watch scary movies? Because they get petrified.
0100
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
I used to be a clockmaker. It was a great job because I made my own hours.
2110
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
Be sure to eat before boarding the train in Budapest or you’ll leave hungary.
0183
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
The large pickle is so pompous. It thinks it’s a big dill.
1120
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
A woman threw away her toaster because it kept burning her bread. She came to find out that she’s black toast intolerant.
182
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
I used to be a baker, but I quit because I didn’t make enough dough.
1120
Michael sisto @sistosterone.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
I woke up with a face full of rice. I must’ve fallen asleep as soon as my head hit the pilau.
191