Reposted by Ruth BurgerKellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 7hHome is where the heart takes it’s pants off immediately 418570
Reposted by Ruth BurgerFiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 5hOne day, I will run this place *ruin 07324
Reposted by Ruth BurgerGreg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 6hcontact lenses should be called eyeball glasses 87932
Reposted by Ruth BurgerSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 7heverything went according to a plan I didn't have 212559
Reposted by Ruth BurgerRoxy @laboxalaroxa.bsky.social · 05/10/2026It's been a fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck kind of day. 1249
Reposted by Ruth BurgerNuclear Winter @4slars.bsky.social · 01/10/2026I'm fading away gracefully as fast as I can. 26929
Reposted by Ruth BurgerSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Weird in the normal way 713556
Reposted by Ruth BurgerCarole Boo @caroleu.bsky.social · 23hIt’s hard to scream “meh” but I do mean it very strongly. 26528
Reposted by Ruth BurgerRoxy @laboxalaroxa.bsky.social · 05/10/2026I never realized how creepy Hello, I Love You, Won’t You Tell Me Your Name? was until, just now. 0219
Reposted by Ruth BurgerThe Phantom Judge You Harshly 🎃💀🦇🧛♂️ @judgeyouharshly.bsky.social · 22hWhen I hear my bestie calling someone else their bestie…static.klipy.comAngry Man's Intense StareAlt: Angry Man's Intense Stare 271
Reposted by Ruth BurgerMAD DAVE! @maddave7.bsky.social · 05/10/2026I think the Baba Yaga knows the location of the seven missing Fabergé eggs. 032
Reposted by Ruth Burgerghost crab dave @crabbydaddy.bsky.social · 05/10/2026birds that call should text 12717
Reposted by Ruth BurgerTits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 03/10/2026There are reasons why I’m nobody’s emergency contact. 13014
Reposted by Ruth BurgerSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 03/10/2026“It’s almost go time,” I whisper to my turtlenecks. 19365126
Reposted by Ruth BurgerMark Neitzel @elmark-neitzel.bsky.social · 19hOnly 354 followers away from finally earning my father’s love. 0205
Reposted by Ruth BurgerFiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 20hBarista: Do you want skim milk? Me: Are you calling me fat? 2205
Reposted by Ruth BurgerFiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 06/08/2025Just sent a text that was emotional, vulnerable and included the phrase “I think I’m finally healing.” Unfortunately, I sent it to my plumber and he just now replied with “I’m proud of you!” 16496116
Reposted by Ruth Burgerblondii✌🏼 @savageblondii.bsky.social · 11/09/2021maybe you're not in the most ideal situation but you're still going to be okay. 1115
Reposted by Ruth Burger🦋Fiona McGee🦋🚫👑🐈🐈⬛ @judymccarthy.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Oh baby, so true… 1143
Ruth Burger @ammtuesday.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Husband just said, "Partius Smokus." He says it's Latin for let’s smoke one. 001
Reposted by Ruth BurgerBraden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 25/01/2025Sometimes I’ll buy a live lobster at the grocery store and go toss it in the ocean so it can warn the others 24955158
Reposted by Ruth BurgerWilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Is ‘home wrecker’ one word or two? I want to get this Anniversary Card just right. 1217
Reposted by Ruth BurgerSewzinski @sewzinski.bsky.social · 04/10/2026I’m the right height to have all my pockets catch on door handles and think someone is trying to hold me back so I tug harder and rip my pants. It’s fun. 2206
Reposted by Ruth BurgerWilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 04/10/2026I’m in favor of more skeets about trump Minus the ‘t’ 0115
Reposted by Ruth BurgerWilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 08/06/2026My new car has lots of fancy technology in it. Just now I put it in reverse and it showed a video of some lady getting run over by a car. 1823332406
Reposted by Ruth BurgerJane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 29/04/2025What doesn't kill you really needs to get its shit together. 7297150
Reposted by Ruth BurgerJane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 04/10/2026It's a beautiful day to throw your phone in the ocean. 219076
Reposted by Ruth BurgerA.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 04/10/2026I just woke up from a nap feeling overwhelmingly disappointed in The Butthole Surfers. Am I in the right timeline? 45219
Reposted by Ruth BurgerPhantom Limb @hyde85.bsky.social · 04/10/2026A toast... To all the thoughts that didn't make it to the light of skeets. 0207
Reposted by Ruth BurgerSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 04/10/2026More happily ever after, less once upon a time 19849
Reposted by Ruth Burgerblondii✌🏼 @savageblondii.bsky.social · 05/05/2026I just said ‘who cares’ out loud in a meeting 46871115
Reposted by Ruth Burgerblondii✌🏼 @savageblondii.bsky.social · 27/04/2025I know you get slightly annoyed when you see me on your timeline but skeet skeet bitches 2176
Reposted by Ruth BurgerWonderfulEd @wonderfuled.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Finally, I’m looking out for me. 2207
Reposted by Ruth BurgerWonderfulEd @wonderfuled.bsky.social · 21/07/2026Dear you, you are allowed to feel joy. 14517
Reposted by Ruth BurgerWonderfulEd @wonderfuled.bsky.social · 14/07/2026Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and remember who the fuck you are. 397
Reposted by Ruth BurgerKellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 03/10/2026If you can’t handle the heat get out of my dumpster 722194
Reposted by Ruth BurgerCosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Are we men, or are we microplastics?!?!? 4125
Reposted by Ruth BurgerCosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 04/10/2026🎵Moon me on the fly🎵 031
Reposted by Ruth BurgerStephanie goes by Stephanie @pagnificent.myatproto.social · 04/10/2026I have killed 7 mosquitos today 5192
Reposted by Ruth BurgerIdle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 04/10/2026If you see me eating a Rice Krispie treat for dinner, the m&m’s are for protein. 0176
Reposted by Ruth BurgerIdle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 04/10/2026If we can’t be friends, let’s at least agree on who’s the villain. 17032
Reposted by Ruth BurgerIdle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 04/10/2026I never met a Rorschach I couldn’t turn into a kink. 42810
Reposted by Ruth Burgerfredesque @fredtaming.bsky.social · 13/07/2023waiter: is pepsi ok pepsi: take a look around you, does any of this seem ok 6581130
Reposted by Ruth Burgerfredesque @fredtaming.bsky.social · 04/10/2026emergency hotdog that heats up when you crack it like a glow stick 391878318
Reposted by Ruth BurgerPhantom Limb @hyde85.bsky.social · 12/09/2026Occasionally, I like to turn off the tv, turn off the fans, and hate myself in silence. 13816
Reposted by Ruth Burgerblondii✌🏼 @savageblondii.bsky.social · 04/05/2026I don’t have time for this but here I am 25219
Reposted by Ruth BurgerA.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I don't know that anyone talks shit with such a heightened invention like my mother does to political ads interrupting her shows. 26427
