Reposted by MrsFitzDan Cerinthedark @etbeeegood.bsky.social · 8hJNCO should make sweatpants we can sail away to distant lands in 37927
Reposted by MrsFitzSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 7hBut seriously, Canada – we’re gonna need you to take Ted Cruz back. We have the receipt 2213238
Reposted by MrsFitzJack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 7hWell, if we're being historically accurate, they called her Chlamydia Jane. But, it's true, she was a good shot. 1104
MrsFitz @mrsfitz.bsky.social · 6hPlease don't talk to me; I have a Kenny Loggins song stuck in my head. No, this is it. I am happy. 1152
Reposted by MrsFitzSteven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Beach body season is officially over. It's time to embrace forest floor body season now. I wanna get real mossy. I want some teens to poke me with a stick. 05721
Reposted by MrsFitzkattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 6hupdating my MacBook & my iPhone rn so im writing this on a tablet. a stone tablet heyoooo 👻 2239
Reposted by MrsFitzSteven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 6hThe fact that September is all that stands between August and October is ridiculous. Those are two very different states of being. Feel like there should be at least one more month in-between them to ensure a smooth handover. 36617
Reposted by MrsFitzDumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 11hSomeone called me hostile in my candle making group. That’s why I’m here, bitch 28817
Reposted by MrsFitzcap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 15hproverbial straw in one hand, proverbial Capri Sun in the other 38736
Reposted by MrsFitz𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 10h[first date] Her: Mmm, I like your cologne. So what do you do? Him: Pest control. The “cologne” is industrial strength bug spray. 2327
Reposted by MrsFitzKellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 15hIf you don’t like my cargo pants, let me check the pockets to see if I care 315469
Reposted by MrsFitzTeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 7ha new day, a new opportunity for things to get worse. will things get worse for me personally? worse in a universal sense? both? yes 291
Reposted by MrsFitzRoxy @laboxalaroxa.bsky.social · 7hWoke up like the taxidermied monkey from the psa ad about vaping. Yeesh. 0209
Reposted by MrsFitzmave @mave.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Moving from summer to fall is a significant shift. Time to put away my swimsuits and get back to mysteriously haunting a crumbling abandoned lighthouse 09029
Reposted by MrsFitzShade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Is counting the number of dead contacts you have in your phone a sign of a midlife crisis? 810341
Reposted by MrsFitzDumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 28/09/2026GenX should get a prize in our Ibuprofen 1316343
Reposted by MrsFitzSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 19hI won’t rest until I’ve pleased every last one of you 2115958
Reposted by MrsFitzLizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Making a band that you like your entire personality is so lame. Just ask my kid, Champagne Supernova. 917954
Reposted by MrsFitzSwim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 22hHe died as he lived - wildly riding a unicycle & tossing scallops to the bystanders 02715
Reposted by MrsFitzJack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 22hI'm looking back over my life and I'm seeing a lot of plot holes. 33714
Reposted by MrsFitzsweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026“but it’s national coffee day” i sob, after the barista refuses to put me through the bean grinder 625556
Reposted by MrsFitzchris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 29/09/2026If you don't have a bluesky nemesis that doesn't even know that they're your bluesky nemesis, I hope you at least have friends in real life to keep you company. 611936
Reposted by MrsFitzIdle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 29/09/2026slipped on a banana peel into a profound melancholy 113563
Reposted by MrsFitzMisery Highlight @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Music is my coffee. 14620
Reposted by MrsFitzkattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 29/09/2026nana was quite secretive she always kept something up her sleeve (a tissue) 😬 14817
Reposted by MrsFitzFᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 29/09/2026CONCERT DEEP PURPLE: So have you guys heard of...Smoke On The Water? CROWD: *screams* ME: [from front row] IT'S MORE THAN LIKELY JUST MIST 412030
Reposted by MrsFitzSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 28/09/2026If I were a better listener, talking to myself would be a lot more productive 28939
Reposted by MrsFitzSunshine Jarboly @sunshinejarboly.bsky.social · 28/09/2026one time my grandma used an american express traveler’s check to buy a live bald eagle from sears. 24922
Reposted by MrsFitzFᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Welcome to middle age, you're Squidward now. 511942
Reposted by MrsFitzLizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Slept on my body weird last night. Who wants to come over and snap my spine? 57434
Reposted by MrsFitzTiki Moon🌙 @tikimoon.bsky.social · 27/09/2026*ambles in, scratching her head* “Mmm good morning,” she murmurs as she grabs a tangerine from the community Bluesky bowl & pours herself a cup of coffee. *ambles out* 1226
Reposted by MrsFitzMarly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 27/09/2026I like this time of year because I can say things like, "I could see your creepy scarecrow eyes glowing from the road! Cool!" or "I like your incredibly large skeleton!" and nobody thinks twice. 213646
Reposted by MrsFitzSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 27/09/2026My fantasy football team is absolute shite. Good thing I’m handsome. 06721
Reposted by MrsFitzKellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Just you wait and see if I procrastinate 713060
Reposted by MrsFitz𝔏𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔏𝔬𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢 @fleurkenstein.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Broke up with my medieval bf because he was upset I said his harpsichord playing was lacklustre (one time) 24212
Reposted by MrsFitz[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 26/09/2026At this age I’m suddenly realizing I’ll probably never get to write a hit song about how a record company executive is ripping me off 910526
Reposted by MrsFitzSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I used to listen to Abbey Road playing on cassette while I sat on the hood of my Chevy Impala watching the lobster boats come in. I miss that place. 1213727
Reposted by MrsFitzGreg Reckons @gregreckons.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Join my Patreon for early access to my meltdowns. 06026
Reposted by MrsFitzcrumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Scary movies are like imagine if something scary, impossible, and incomprehensible was happening, wouldn’t that be scary? 13920
Reposted by MrsFitzBlobStarrrr @blobstar.bsky.social · 27/09/2026It's a lovely night to bounce around on the moon 04916
Reposted by MrsFitzDamnit Janet @damnitjanet.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Someone at work complained about me shouting the c word (cunt) yesterday and then a wasp stung me in the face and I yelled motherfucker, cos I can take a hint 27530
Reposted by MrsFitzSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I never learned how to smoke all casual and cool but I can play air trumpet to a Freddie Hubbard solo that would make you nana’s panties drop 77626
Reposted by MrsFitzRoxy @laboxalaroxa.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Sorry that I was in a shitty mood today. Socks were too tight. 15327
Reposted by MrsFitzFᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Apparently it's not appropriate to laugh and shout THAT KID GOT BEACH SLAPPED when you see a child get knocked over by a wave 518863
Reposted by MrsFitzFickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I don’t know much about horses and I know even less about being stable. 413368
Reposted by MrsFitzPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I wonder if Kermit the Frog has a very humble doppelganger named Kermit a Frog 1818947
Reposted by MrsFitzRoxy @laboxalaroxa.bsky.social · 26/09/2026If someone says they love you to death it's best to stop and check for weapons. 17742
Reposted by MrsFitzSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I bet you used your kickstand when you were a kid. Must have been nice to be rich 2020064
Reposted by MrsFitzandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 26/09/2026It's really comin down out there (civilization) 252291441
Reposted by MrsFitzSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I hugged a tow truck driver yesterday. Not sure why. He was not prepared 1920454
