iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

ME: what are those little bugs hovering around the basket of grapes? GUY: fruit flies I think ME: *rolls eyes* no it doesn’t, doug

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 26/09/2026

It's really comin down out there (civilization)

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

ME: a rib cage is made out of ribs, right WIFE: yes ME: so then what’s wrong with my bird cage

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

The babadook store called but I don’t know what they said, I’ve completely blocked it out, I’m sure you’ll be fine

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Just snorted a huge line of birdseed in case anyone’s looking for their birdseed

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Shamu is short for shhhh this ham is for u

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

“Don’t be an idiot, Harry. Just ask him for directions.”

A running car sits on the shoulder of a muddy road. A bison a few feet away looks into the driver’s side window.

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

He died as he lived - wildly riding a unicycle & tossing scallops to the bystanders

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

A WEREWOLF WHO TURNS ON THE WAXING CRESCENT MOON: Haha guys i just realized what tonight is and we kinda need to solve this escape room faster

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I’m sorry – I need to take this call. It’s my undertaker

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Amy Vants to Suck Your Blood 🩸 @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 27/06/2025

[peering out the window as blood rains from the sky] we needed this

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 24/09/2026

The people demand a Samsung dryer that plays a melancholy tune

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

ME: what kind of shoes are you wearing HER: converse ME: *rolls eyes* we already are, susan

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

The best handjob I ever received was from a hot girl in college. She paid for it and even tipped the guy.

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Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Me: I need to leave early today Boss: okay why Me: I don’t like it here

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

WELL THIS CAN’T BE NORMAL- I think as I pee out a second kernel of corn

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Raysident Evil @sireviscerate.myatproto.social · 15/06/2023

HER: Did you eat my Milk Duds? ME: *silently chews for 7 minutes, finally swallows* first of all, i don't appreciate your accusations

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nige [ham] @sensualdad.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

bartender: why the long face? me: i just had it lengthened

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Just answered a spam call and yelled IF THIS ISN’T ABOUT THE RANSOM I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT. They didn’t hang up

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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Me: ugh it's muggy outside Outside: gimme your purse

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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 30/08/2025

[being murdered] murderer: (murdering) what are you doing on your phone me: (putting away phone) my bad what's up what's going on

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Got banned for life from my gym for refusing to stop calling my leg muscles my thighceps

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

me: i once made an elevator pun about getting shafted & ppl looked at me like i was crazy so i said “i can’t take the stares” my gynecologist: what

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

*skips Jesus across a lake and he just goes forever*

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brent @murrman5.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

[responding to trash talk during pick up basketball game] my wife has a bad back so I doubt that happened

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Rejected Marvel characters: Thorothy Captain Caillou Aunt Man Backfat Iron Jan Thanus

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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

(gazing wistfully towards the horizon) candy corn’ll be ripe soon

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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

a sushi conveyor belt that comes right to my house

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

“Making friends is hard.“ —Dr. Frankenstein

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donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I respect my haters and share their concerns

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Sheeran should just finish the tour with McConnell

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

[motorcycle lesson] INSTRUCTOR: first put your helmet on ME: this seems dangerous INSTRUCTOR: *turns it around so I can see* how about now

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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 23/05/2025

the eyes are the windows to the soup

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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Animatronic Mitch made of old Chuck E. Cheese parts

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

Do you know there are 25 ppl on AL Death Row sentenced to die when their juries ruled otherwise? Pls take a look, this website shows how easily you can get involved in correcting this unconstitutional injustice, which will, in turn save lives! 🧵

wethejury-al.com

We the Jury — Alabama Must Finish the Job

25 people on Alabama's death row were sentenced under judicial override — a practice the state has already rejected.

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Shout out to the new iOS update for making my phone even more fucked up smdh

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

[dog wedding] PRIEST: you may now sniff the bride's butt

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Listen I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news here but I also don’t want to be the bearer of any news so

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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 25/10/2025

Spirit Halloween Hiring Manager: And where do you see yourself in five days

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

sometimes the goal of science is to help us begin to understand the mystery and complexity of this astounding universe and sometimes the goal is to simply improve the human experience