Reposted by Dumbdum🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 29/12/2025Man, fairy tale-era stepmom pussy must’ve been hella good to be having dads agree to leave their kids in the woods and shit. 722539
Reposted by DumbdumUncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 22hME: I’m a little drunk. HER: I know. ME: You’re very beautiful. HER: Thank you. ME: Do I look okay naked? HER: You do. ME: Do you like my penis? HER: It’s very nice. ME: Big, too. HER: Yes it is. ME: What now? HER: I have to call the police. ME: Why? HER: Starbucks policy, sir. 915825
Reposted by DumbdumTwitter died @countmackula.bsky.social · 18hComing soon, my pizza de résistance 061
Reposted by DumbdumWonder Jenny🧛🏻♀️ @galacticpotlady.bsky.social · 14/03/2025Maybe my deleted skeet was a banger, you don’t know. 28832
Reposted by Dumbdumchris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Select your sadness off of the drop down menu. If "other," please provide a brief description. 89636
Reposted by DumbdumWoodrow Peel 🆗🆒 @woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Car ads overestimate how much I want to rock climb and kayak and underestimate how much I want to buy ice cream at midnight. 532766
Reposted by DumbdumJohn Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 07/10/202630-year-old: My knee hurts, but I don’t know why. Me: Aww, that’s cute. I remember when I thought pain had to have reasons. 1029281
Dumbdum @dumbdum.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Dude fully embraced the confederate flag. His music is around. That’s cool. 000
Reposted by DumbdumCosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 07/10/2026not a leader not a follower but a secret third thing (disoriented on my own path) 213965
Reposted by DumbdumRedruM @dorsalstream.bsky.social · 06/10/2026I like to think that part of he Headless Horseman’s curse is that his pumpkin head regrows fresh each night, and he must carve a new expression every day. 26621
Dumbdum @dumbdum.bsky.social · 06/10/2026I only trust my laughs to someone wearing a satin jacket with their initials on it. You do you I guess. 010
Dumbdum @dumbdum.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Something I made for a long time a long time ago. on.soundcloud.com/GdU3jgxkCYFg...soundcloud.comBrent Vassar Pimp Poetry EditEnjoys long walks on the beach, deep conversations and banging house music 020
Reposted by DumbdumLauren Flans @laurenflans.bsky.social · 10/03/2024Oh; I concur that this is not my circus, but those ARE, in fact, my monkeys. And therein lies the problem, constable: this circus has obtained my monkeys by nefarious means. 6970268
Reposted by DumbdumViktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Due to an unforeseen tragedy, I am officially shutting down my kid-a-pult 1725241
Reposted by DumbdumFrovo @frovo.bsky.social · 06/10/2026[dog world] DRIVE THRU: may I take your order DOG: *snickering* got any uphuman 29816
Reposted by DumbdumJuiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 21/12/2023If social security falls through, at least I have the My Two Dads memorabilia to fall back on. 03115
Reposted by DumbdumKip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Keeping a journal of things I’ve lost interest in. Or I was. 310431
Reposted by Dumbdumsweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 05/10/2026boy, are you plain greek yogurt bc you’re good for me but you’re so dull and i hate you 1018738
Reposted by DumbdumLizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Making a band that you like your entire personality is so lame. Just ask my kid, Champagne Supernova. 920463
Reposted by DumbdumGrant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 10/05/2025don’t like to brag, but I often go to the hospital with my banjo to sing to the patients regardless of their condition or their constant requests that I stop 6559143
Reposted by DumbdumSeaTea @tierno158.bsky.social · 05/10/2026I've been 65 for well over a month now and I'm way behind on collecting keys that have no conceivable connection to any of the locks in my current life. My buddy, who is the same age, already has filled up two Mason jars. 1122
Reposted by Dumbdumjonk @jonk.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Me: And this dew, it’s from the mountains of the Baja Oblast? Taco Bell employee: ya 0959
Reposted by DumbdumWilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 04/10/2026If you read while sunbathing you’ll end up well red 12213
Reposted by Dumbdum🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 29/01/2025Capri Sun packages were designed to teach kids how to do emergency tracheotomies 321664419
Reposted by DumbdumLizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Men with mid tattoos will go on Survivor instead of going to therapy 312631
Reposted by DumbdumYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 04/10/2026saw your man at the grocery store and he was struggling to effectively use his rewards points 120841
Reposted by DumbdumNosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Stow your cheese wheels in the overhead compartment. 2139469
Reposted by DumbdumMike Ginn @shutupmikeginn.bsky.social · 01/10/2026VOTE NO on Pro 75 (the 'TAX DRACULA' bill.) If we try to tax Dracula, he will simply move away to Texas. 141134158
Reposted by DumbdumGypsiboo 👻 @gypsican.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Maybe the lack of modern ghosts is directly proportional to humans not wanting to complete their unfinished business. 25720
Reposted by DumbdumSridhar Ramesh @radishharmers.bsky.social · 02/10/2026I'm old enough to remember smoking on airplanes as a child. I hated it but they made you do it. 363207363
Reposted by DumbdumNosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 03/10/2026The hamburger helper glove when it sees anyone's naked hands: ew 710530
Dumbdum @dumbdum.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Exactly. I have lifted many having had family and working in a daycare. It’s a perfectly normal thing that should come naturally. 000
Reposted by DumbdumRob Cee @therobcee.bsky.social · 04/10/2026I was thinking about making fun of a Toto song but some guy who works at a guitar shop appeared out of nowhere to tell me that "those guys were really great musicians.' 161
Dumbdum @dumbdum.bsky.social · 04/10/2026That’s the first time he’s ever tried to pick up a child. Like ever. 100
Reposted by DumbdumAlgonquin K Farquhar II @buddhatree.bsky.social · 04/10/2026[upcoming tasks] October 31, 2026 11:59pm - Turn off chocolate fountain November 1, 2026 12:00am - Turn on gravy fountain 02810
Reposted by Dumbdum113642 @justdanthistime.bsky.social · 03/10/2026The Man Who Shot Liberty Bibberty 663081521
Dumbdum @dumbdum.bsky.social · 03/10/202615 minutes south of San Francisco on the coast. I flush away large amounts for rent for it to get over 80 once this calendar year. Tell the manager they are doing great. 000
Reposted by DumbdumMary Gillis @marygillis.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Putting a bottle or can of pop in the freezer to cool it quickly and assuming you'll pull it out before it explodes is known as 'the devil's fizzy wager.' 731496161
Reposted by DumbdumViktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Just saw my 5th grade math teacher at Chili’s. I yelled “isosceles triangle” and he gave me a thumbs up 943849
Reposted by DumbdumFickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Don’t make me clutch my pearls, motherfucker. 616879
Reposted by DumbdumThe best Dave you know @thefaceofdave.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Now that Sir-Mix-A-Lot is older, baby got back-problems. 184
Reposted by DumbdumViktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Kill me once, shame on you. That’s pretty much it 325447
Reposted by DumbdumJames Damron @runswindows95.bsky.social · 03/10/2026For Halloween, dying the dryer lint pink, and passing it out as cotton candy. 78130
