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@crisiscake.bsky.social
4.9K followers 624 following 1.4K posts

no thank you

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m @mjjii.com · 7h
the succulent. seeking justice for dehydrated houseplants everywhere
digital art. a potted plant with arms, legs, and a utility belt. he’s holding a watering can
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kibbychan @kibbychan.blacksky.app · 7h
I felt compelled to respond because it's something I felt so many times during my art journey, it's not something that's impressive, so I shouldnt bother, but what mattered is that despite it not looking impressive to me I still went through so much work to make it my own thing, that matters so much
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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Until our intern Gavin completes the blood tests, please assume all enclosures contain The Thing. Thank you for your patience.
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Taco Bell Quarterly @tacobellquarterly.org · 04/10/2026
I don't want a job. I want to be a writer. and if writing never becomes my job I never have to work. I haven't figured out the money part of the plan yet, I'm planning just to die first and then I won't have to write anymore. I have it all figured out. Just follow me for more tips
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I see it not as a failure but an opportunity to feel sorry for myself.
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Groceries @crisiscake.bsky.social · 7h
the watch your profanity guy but it says watch your depravity
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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
People keep telling me I should write a book, and I just think about how I can barely commit to putting laundry away.
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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
In honor of engagement bait awareness month: what is the first piece of engagement bait you remember falling for?
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Yes, dogs should not have the jobs of man
Parenting
American Television Shows
Paw Patro
Is it wrong for a 12 year old to watch
Paw Patrol with an 8 year old?
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KAFUI 🇬🇭 @mykafuiohkafui.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
𝟏.) 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭 This gift option isn’t just 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴, it’s 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 —with the added benefit of being perfect for the woman who has it all! 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘑𝘰𝘩𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘵 fits your requirements that your present be 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 and 𝘯𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘺, but 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 for a budding courtship.
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Dave Provost @daveprovo.st · 05/10/2026
The quote post reads “7 year olds in victorian england after their 18 hour shift in the coal mines”

And the original post reads “bread and butter undefeated combo”
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Claire Hummel @shoomlah.bsky.social · 21h
hands down one of my favourite subcategories of posts
shioripilled Follow
30. dec. 2022
saw babylon. not good.
redshifting Follow
30. dec. 2022
-Egyptian scout circa 1150 BC after the invasion of the Sea Peoples
5.549 noteshustlerose
of course you have blood all over you. and pronouns
hustlerose
easy website
cryptid-on-a-string Follow
^^^ me when I'm trying to calm down my horse named "Website"hubbert

...

@Bonarno

Medieval herbalists when their supplies are
delayed

the silly . & . @mysillycomics . 6h
GINGER ROOT IN FORTNITE ?!
Show this thread

9:47 AM · 3/10/23 . 1.8M ViewsNicky
@hemnick

tarzan's last thought as he plummets
to the jungle floor

jean @jeanmr . 3h
i miss vine

22:13 · 28.02.23 · Twitter for iPhone

29K Retweets 78.6K Likes

17
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Chris Hepler-Skelter @theotherhepler.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
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razor blade in your candy corn @ghoulmouse.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
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Nagi Viperine @themetalviper.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
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Daniel Ostrowski @froakiebloke.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
The all time classic
Ye @kanyewest tweets ‘I will never a make a diss record’. Ryan Pequin quote tweets: ‘When Mario starts to doubt himself during a speed run’
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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 13h
i bet Icarus burned the roof of his mouth
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beth death & the slay-belles @dumb-belles.bsky.social · 9h
Another day, another cosmic horror.
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nico @nicodelort.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
i dont want to download an app i don't want a qr code menu i dont want to talk to an ai assistant i dont want ai summaries for my searches i dont want to optimize my workflow i dont want to jump on a call i dont want to rate anything i don't want to create an account LEAVEME ADLONEe
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
i guess you could say i’ve mastered the art of nodding and politely smiling as i simultaneously wish the ground would open and swallow me whole
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PhantomDeeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Good morning. I see the assassins have failed again
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terror @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Wish they’d let me respawn in a verdant meadow instead of the standard vat of inky sludge
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dr. uncle boobs phD 🗿 @retroshorts21.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
every god damn day
Pictured: left panel is a bear on a laptop and their brain says “let’s focus”

Second panel shows the laptop screen and it is focusing “on the wrong thing”
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 05/10/2026
no....no!!!!!
lowly worm is now driving the trolley problem trolley :(
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⛧ Mother Suspiria ⛧ (Stina Marie) @stinasdemons.com · 05/10/2026
It's that day again, but we must (and WILL) perversely persevere 🤘😈
homunculus-argu {Follow}
God will see you at the lowest point of your life, and say "what the fuck I thought I killed that thing." But you skitter too fast and you are too creepy.
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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Somehow managed to fall down 6 flights of stairs without spilling any of my fondue
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Garth Marenghi's Catbus @catbus.phd · 05/10/2026
discourse got me thinking about one of the best and most useful lessons I learned in therapy: you don't have to forgive shit Deciding some things are totally unacceptable is fine and you can just proceed from there
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
i don’t want to be a big account and that’s why i keep posting
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Memento (spooky) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
fell into the factory vat of commercial grade ominous liquid again :/
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 05/10/2026
you'd like to schedule a doctor's appointment? have you logged into MyHealthChart yet? Remember that MyHealthChart used to be Healbe. If you migrated your chart from Healbe Now or Healbe Epic, you are not eligible to make an account. Please make note Healbe Epic is formerly MyHealthChartRX.
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corpse eating dog @thuleanperspective.bsky.social · 23h
Sometimes movies will include multiple scenes to give the audience the impression that time is passing
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 23h
Keeping a journal of things I’ve lost interest in. Or I was.
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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 22h
how are Rage Against the Machine still managing to shock people with their politics that band is 35 years old. are people shocked that woody guthrie was a leftist too? going on god’s own internet all ‘you’ll never believe what i just learned about karl marx’?
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K. Thor Jensen @kthorjensen.bsky.social · 21h
chat is this good
best_of_web 1d
A customer just tried to use an employee discount code that ChatGPT gave her. I work at a high-end clothing store and clocked in to my manager telling me about the most unhinged interaction from yesterday. A woman walked in asking if she could use a 40% off code she got online. We don't have any sales running, so my manager looks at the screen and realizes ChatGPT straight up handed this woman a real employee's internal ID number.
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Elizabeth Anne, PhD @lacksauthority.bsky.social · 21h
never the wrong time for this classic
Screenshot of a tweet by @RobbtKraft reading “scientist: "does everyone here know what Watson and Crick discovered?" 
me from back of room: "Rosalind Franklin's notes"”
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Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 21h
everything went according to a plan I didn't have
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✧𝔰𝔭𝔬𝔬𝔨𝔶 𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔭✧ @altaudge.bsky.social · 20h
where is the opt out button for all this shit
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 20h
I became an exorcist to get some real challengers at Twister
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Count Draugula @artd.bsky.social · 20h
the abolitionist's dilemma
venn diagram
left
some people need their ass beat
right
punishment does not transform people
middle
me
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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 19h
I've taught myself how to be funny and I think we can all agree that the results are astounding
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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 19h
how come when kids play house they're never like "hot water isn't working anymore" or "we're out of toilet paper"
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Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 19h
if your dessert is gooey i want no part of it. capitalist decadence. i'm eating a digestive, the people's sweet.
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Wagatwe Wanjuki @wagatwe.bsky.social · 19h
did you know that the characteristics that deem a victim "not credible" also overlap with the characteristics of the people most likely to be abused? not credible ≠ not victimized
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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 19h
that one task i should probably get done today ❌ MEMORY LOST the one interaction i had that one time in 2022 which makes me cringe every time i think about it ✅ MEMORY PRESERVED FOREVER
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 19h
When the bad man finally drops dead we can all move on. We'll still be sharing a country with countless people who gleefully aided and abetted his crimes but they probably won't do it again
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Pizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 15h
Let me answer your question with another question: Are you mad at me?
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Mr. Joshua @pantspants.bsky.social · 14h
Ballpoint pen and colored pencil. 

At the top of the piece we see the delicately drawn branches and leaves of an apple tree. Just beneath the tree limbs, a bat is flying with one of the green apples in its mouth. This is when the morphing begins, reader. A sequence of 13 drawings show the bat morphing into a teeny witch (with completion of the morph around drawing #9). The morphing creates a spiral leading us to the center of the page where the little witch is running towards her basket filled with apples. It’s likely she’ll re-morph into a bat again and the morphing pattern will continue.
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✧𝔰𝔭𝔬𝔬𝔨𝔶 𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔭✧ @altaudge.bsky.social · 16h
What to do if your friend is sad
1) DRESS THEM
IN A COOL
JACKET
2) REMOVE THEM FROM THE PERSON OR LOCATION THAT IS MAKING THEM SAD
3) LOWER
THEM
SLOWLY
INTO THE PIT
"farewell"
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Tyler, from the Internet (Haunted) @tylerfromtheinternet.com · 15h
me: let's tax people heavily over a million dollars guys making 37k a year with no benefits: absolutely the fuck not 😠
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Bram Stoker’s K 🧛🏻‍♂️ @gimmethekspecial.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
not to brag but I’ve been told I have a punchable face
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