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mattie lubchansky

@mattielubchansky.com
79K followers 776 following 8.6K posts

best-selling & award-winning comics idiot, leggy blonde // buy SIMPLICITY on sale now // mattielubchansky.com // @nogodsnomayors.com // temporalculturewar.com // bass faithvoid.bandcamp.com // she

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Reposted by mattie lubchansky
David_j_roth @davidjroth.bsky.social · 3h
Incredibly good stuff here: defector.com/resident-evi...
defector.com
Accept The Expanding Ball Of Infected Corpses You Cannot Change | Defector
“Here are the main things you need to know about the Resident Evil games,” I explained to my friend Liz over the nonsense of the Digger trailer. “There’s a big outbreak of some kind of mutagenic virus...
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Reposted by mattie lubchansky
Brian Actors Guild @spocksbrian.worstpossible.world · 17h
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 17h
yes, your honor. those are my text messages from 6 weeks ago calling the new york liberty "chopped," "looking old" and even "washed." but you have to understand i was most likely being impersonated by a scurrilous person or persons at that particular juncture.
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 29/09/2026
very weird thing about being "in public online" for like, 15 whole years now is sometimes you'll run into a person who fully has a tulpa of you living in their home. and the problem is that the tulpa is not pulling its weight around the house and that person is now mad at ME for some reason
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 05/07/2026
PROTIP: Before responding to a post online, press “X” to equip EYEBALLS to perform the READ action to check if ten people have already said the same exact unfunny non-joke
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leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
lowly worm putting a sticker on his apple car "i bought this before mr frumble went crazy"
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 29/09/2026
awoke this morning with a Vision
that diagram showing  the SUV blind spot in the front but it's lowly worm driving his little applemobile
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 28/09/2026
Recent Events have me once again considering: the cube
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 28/09/2026
true (?) story comix #3 | patreon.com/lubchansky
TRUE(?) STORY COMIX #3
PANEL 1: MATTIE, relaxing with a book, topless. She's reading a big book. A speech bubble floats in from offscreen.
MATTIE: A BEAUTIFUL DAY, TITS OUT AT THE GAY BEACH.
VO: HEY…

PANEL 2: MATTIE turns to look behind her. There is a seemingly cishet couple there, holding hands. They are both incredibly pale and wearing big hats and sunglasses. A Text box points to them.
TEXT BOX: THE BEST I CAN FIGURE, A CIS? HET? COUPLE? 
CIS(?)GUY: DO YOU KNOW…WHAT HAPPENS HERE. AT NIGHT.

PANEL 3: Back on MATTIE. A text box points to her. The COUPLE is in the near foreground.
TEXT: KNOWS THE ANSWER IS "FUCKING AND SUCKING"
MATTIE: I AM NORMALLY ONLY HERE DURING THE DAY.
MAN(?): OH. OKAY.

PANEL 4 : MATTIE looks away. The COUPLE in the background are beamed up back to their spaceship.
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 28/09/2026
true (?) story comix #3 | patreon.com/lubchansky
TRUE(?) STORY COMIX #3
PANEL 1: MATTIE, relaxing with a book, topless. She's reading a big book. A speech bubble floats in from offscreen.
MATTIE: A BEAUTIFUL DAY, TITS OUT AT THE GAY BEACH.
VO: HEY…

PANEL 2: MATTIE turns to look behind her. There is a seemingly cishet couple there, holding hands. They are both incredibly pale and wearing big hats and sunglasses. A Text box points to them.
TEXT BOX: THE BEST I CAN FIGURE, A CIS? HET? COUPLE? 
CIS(?)GUY: DO YOU KNOW…WHAT HAPPENS HERE. AT NIGHT.

PANEL 3: Back on MATTIE. A text box points to her. The COUPLE is in the near foreground.
TEXT: KNOWS THE ANSWER IS "FUCKING AND SUCKING"
MATTIE: I AM NORMALLY ONLY HERE DURING THE DAY.
MAN(?): OH. OKAY.

PANEL 4 : MATTIE looks away. The COUPLE in the background are beamed up back to their spaceship.
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Kublai Khan's Force Ghost🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦🇵🇸 @refriedwater.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Here you go
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 27/09/2026
made myself carsick reading about cahokia on the bus again
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Kory Bing @korybing.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I asked @bluedelliquanti.bsky.social to pick up @mattielubchansky.com’a new zine at SPX and it does NOT disappoint, her brain is so big and beautiful.
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 27/09/2026
showing sahaquiel the tenth angel to my surgeon. which surgeon? great question
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 25/09/2026
found out today that i've lost 2 entire inches off my height since i started HRT six years agp........at this rate i'll cease being legally classifiable as "leggy" sometime in the 2200s
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 25/09/2026
three time recipient of the prestigious Made the Nurse Practitioner Laugh award
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 25/09/2026
man when you’d go to the DIY venue and there’d be a fucking. couch somewhere. i didn’t know how good i had it
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 07/06/2025
truly nothing as accursed as a supposed ally writing “transwomen” as a single word. what planet are you from
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 24/09/2026
in the sequel, i would love to see The Family Stone maybe attempt a heist, or begin to travel through outer space and other dimensions. imagine the kind of disagreements they'd be having in those scenarios.
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No Gods No Mayors Podcast @nogodsnomayors.com · 24/09/2026
This week on the Municipal Benevolent Feed, we are joined by our pal @goingmedieval.bsky.social to talk about the Münster Rebellion and one of it's weirdest little guys, Bernhard Knipperdoling. How dry is YOUR baby? Well, it better be the right amount of it. We'll be measuring. nogodsnomayors.com
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 23/09/2026
i have a crank opinion that i feel very deeply that lives in my heart and it’s that reserving the pasta water is a scam and doesn’t do shit and that it’s fake
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 23/09/2026
ten times a day i am living that scene from CABARET where they're driving by all the dead communists piled in the street but instead all the nazis are wearing clown noses and clown shoes and clown pants and clown makeup and they're honking bicycle horns and they're spraying the corpses with seltzer
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 23/09/2026
that article about the lesbian bar is an op by COINTELGBTTQQIAAAP+RO. don't be fooled
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 23/09/2026
beWARE of imitators: there’s only one mattie mtuesday
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 22/09/2026
gearing up to get another book ready to send into the world right now and i just wanted to take a second to say that you should get your hands on a copy of SIMPLICITY if you like anything i've ever made. i'm still so immensely proud of it.
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 22/09/2026
had an incredible time with the batting around gals talking about one of my favorite movies of the last 20 years
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Batting Around Podcast @battingaround.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Wach Party, our patreon series on the movies of the Wachowskis has finally reached Speed Racer. @mattielubchansky.com instantly said this is the episode she wanted, and we're making this one free for all of our listeners!
soundcloud.com
Wach Party 9: Speed Racer with Mattie Lubchansky (Patreon Promo)
This month's Wach Party, our series on the movies of the Wachowskis, is free for all listeners! If you like it, consider signing up at Patreon.com/BattingAround to suppor the show and get more bonus e
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 22/09/2026
when someone extremely conventionally attractive dresses up in a way that makes them ugly.......i'm like.....whuh??????????? you're usually hot! lol! what da
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jj skolnik @supremenothing.myatproto.social · 22/09/2026
just want to say that when a politician campaigns on/publicly states transphobic positions it will actually be reflected in policy and is not some sort of 4d chess electoral rhetoric move
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 22/09/2026
gearing up to get another book ready to send into the world right now and i just wanted to take a second to say that you should get your hands on a copy of SIMPLICITY if you like anything i've ever made. i'm still so immensely proud of it.
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Reposted by mattie lubchansky
Jaya Saxena @jayasaxena.com · 22/09/2026
Today is the last day!!!
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 21/09/2026
poster's almanac didn't predict another round of "transplant" stuff until the next harvest moon. curious
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 21/09/2026
have a feeling #kago is about to be huge in a huge way
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 21/09/2026
HUGE RELIEF. i just realized that i'll have no problems once all my little plans for the near future come to fruition. phew
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 21/09/2026
great news! | patreon.com/lubchansky
PANEL 1: A TECH BRO running through the street, holding a laptop over his head.
TECH BRO: GREAT NEWS! I THINK I WROTE THE COMPUTER PROGRAM THAT'S GOING TO KILL EVERYONE.

PANEL 2: MATTIE peers at the laptop, which just says KILL ALL HUMANS on it, with a blinking cursor. Another WOMAN runs away.
MATTIE: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU JUST TYPED A SENTENCE HERE ON THE LATPOP.
WOMAN: AHHH! DON'T LET IT NEAR THE NUKES!

PANEL 3: The TECH BRO shakes his head.
TECH BRO: NO. YOU CRETIN, YOU DON'T TRULY UNDERSTAND ITS CAPABILITIES.
TECH BRO: PLUS, IT'S SCRAPED FROM SOMEONE *ELSE* TYPING IT. IDIOT.

PANEL 4: A BUSINESSMAN hands the SCIENTIST a big bag of money. The space behind him is also filled with bags.
BUSINESSMAN: HERE IT IS! EVERY PIECE OF CURRENCY EVER MINTED INCLUDING COINS FROM THE ANCIENT WORLD
TECH BRO: THANK YOU.
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 21/09/2026
recently got a mechanical keyboard and i have to say i'm really suited to the clicky and clacky lifestyle and had forgotten its many pleasures. the computer is good again
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 21/09/2026
i call this configuration “mystery leg”
peach the cat exemplifying excellence in the field of Mystery Leg
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 21/09/2026
great news! | patreon.com/lubchansky
PANEL 1: A TECH BRO running through the street, holding a laptop over his head.
TECH BRO: GREAT NEWS! I THINK I WROTE THE COMPUTER PROGRAM THAT'S GOING TO KILL EVERYONE.

PANEL 2: MATTIE peers at the laptop, which just says KILL ALL HUMANS on it, with a blinking cursor. Another WOMAN runs away.
MATTIE: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU JUST TYPED A SENTENCE HERE ON THE LATPOP.
WOMAN: AHHH! DON'T LET IT NEAR THE NUKES!

PANEL 3: The TECH BRO shakes his head.
TECH BRO: NO. YOU CRETIN, YOU DON'T TRULY UNDERSTAND ITS CAPABILITIES.
TECH BRO: PLUS, IT'S SCRAPED FROM SOMEONE *ELSE* TYPING IT. IDIOT.

PANEL 4: A BUSINESSMAN hands the SCIENTIST a big bag of money. The space behind him is also filled with bags.
BUSINESSMAN: HERE IT IS! EVERY PIECE OF CURRENCY EVER MINTED INCLUDING COINS FROM THE ANCIENT WORLD
TECH BRO: THANK YOU.
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 20/09/2026
everyone always wanna get van helsing when draculas are about but here’s the thing: dracula was killed by a cowboy…if you’re a transylvanian peasant your ass needs to get to the rodeo
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 20/09/2026
they got this idea from hating trans people :) lol
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 20/09/2026
sam from clues by sam is coming over later to Kill me
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Helena Fitzgerald @hellafitzgerald.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
and while I'm on the subject of books that deserved to be a massive sensation, I still think @mattielubchansky.com's Simplicity is the great book of the regrettably ongoing moment we're living through and besides that it's beautiful and funny and somehow genuinely hopeful
bookshop.org
Simplicity: A Novel
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • From the acclaimed author of horror sensation Boys Weekend, a vibrant new graphic novel about a timid academic sent out from the walled dystopian security territory of New York C...
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 19/09/2026
this is today!!! free to the public, i’ll be there starting at noon
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 25/09/2025
CHOTINER: what’s up ME: not much dude CHOTINER: right on
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 18/09/2026
every time i’m at the movies and see a preview for “Digger” i feel like it’s a hallucination my brain is generating as i die
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Stevie Subrizi 🏳️‍⚧️🪬 @steviesubrizi.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
very excited to use my new library card today @mattielubchansky.com
hardcover library copy of Simplicity by Mattie Lubchansky
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 18/09/2026
my republic is so sclerotic dude....don't even look at my potentates
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 18/09/2026
by the way? magna farta.
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 18/09/2026
i gotta say this kind of shit is beginning to crack my usual unflappable and steely façade bsky.app/profile/erin...
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