iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 23h

Until our intern Gavin completes the blood tests, please assume all enclosures contain The Thing. Thank you for your patience.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Quoth the raven: a very competitive rate for your Halloween party! Book early to avoid a midnight dreary.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

No one is allowed in Redville Zoo without proof of a tetanus shot.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Koalas have fingerprints remarkably similar to ours, which is how they managed to frame the zoo's dentist for bank robbery.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Alligators have a running speed of 20MPH. Anyone want to guess the running speed of former alligator handler Gavin?

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Our beavers have been a lot less eager ever since IT clamped down on their access to what our furry friends claim are legitimate beaver-themed websites.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Eagle-eyed visitors may have noticed that mice suddenly look delicious. Mouse-eyed visitors may have noticed that eagles are scary.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

The hidden trapdoor leading to a long winding slide that drops you into the pit full of rattlesnakes has been moved to an exciting new location!

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Whatever you’ve heard from protestors picketing at the turnstiles, our Tasmanian Devils are not actual devils. (Except Bruce. Bruce is evil incarnate.)

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

A liability waiver is required before seeing our version of “The Circle of Life.”

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Please don't tell the health inspector but we've had to move the polar bears into the concession stand freezers for the remainder of the summer.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

For an animal that supposedly mates for life, you’d be shocked by all the penguin sex parties.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

If you've ever wondered what you'd do during a lion escape, you're doing it right now.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Top tier zoo membership has its perks. For instance, antivenom.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

Greenville does not endorse DraftKings “Tortoise Death Pool”

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Our new assistant zookeeper Astral has exposed the animals to mindfulness and meditation and thusly some of them have developed consciousness.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Yes, we do have Jar Jar Binks on display. You really have a problem with that?

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

We now realize hiring a riddle troll as our bathroom attendant was a poor choice. Guests who are bad at puzzles can pick up new clean pants by Lion Lowlands.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

ZOO FACTS: no squirrel has ever made it to old age

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Big news! We now have our very own teen wolf on display, at least until the Department of Social Services steps in.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

Our eagle hatchling accidentally imprinted on intern Gavin and now does nothing but smoke cigarettes in her nest and complain about management

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

Our cobra will be taking a well earned holiday. In the interim, we will be featuring non-stop screenings of the 1986 Sylvester Stallone classic, Cobra.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

Here at Greeneville Zoo we do things a little differently. All of our animals (yes even the snakes) wear socks, for example.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

Anyone who tuned into the Croc Cam Livestream today is eligible to receive three complementary therapy sessions.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

Despite what you may have seen on TV, our hippos do not appreciate it when you feed them marbles

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

Fun Fact: Our “Bat Guy” is named Bruce Wayne!

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Smoke in the park isn't from wildfires. The landscapers punctured a vape with a rototiller and set the eucalyptus shed on fire. Everyone suspects the koalas.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

If you like Jimothy the raccoon you’ll love cuddly Robert our giant water bug who suffers from asthma

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

It’s World Snake day! Today and today only, toxic males get in free

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

The bodycams on our Meerkat handlers are for the protection of our Meerkkat handlers.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

Have you always wondered what marmots do in their spare time? Ride the tram through our exciting exhibit: Marmotville, USA.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

The Kraken wasn't released. The Kraken left. Perhaps you've heard of free will? Also, shelter in place.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

The old zoo is dying; the new zoo struggles to be born. Please take a moment to fill out our visitor feedback survey.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

At 2 pm, meet our science communicators in the main amphitheatre! Clyde and Mariam will answer your nature and ecology questions, from "Can we eat Bigfoot?" to "May we eat Bigfoot?”

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

Until our chimpanzees stop eating bananas that way, their HBO subscription has been cut off.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

We will be relaunching our wildly popular “Feed A Giraffe” program! We will be discontinuing our wildly unpopular “Clean Up After A Giraffe” program.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

Technically we don’t have a Capybara. We had to move Barbara from finance into an enclosure because she bit Gavin again.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

Coming soon to our bear enclosure: a bear!

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

Please stop making documentaries about being catfished by our hyrax.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 14/06/2026

If it’s been a while since you visited the Zoo, it’s time to come back and marvel at The Wonderful World of Worms.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 13/06/2026

Sloths move slowly due to a plant based, low calorie diet. It's simple metabolic adaptation. Their handler moves slowly due to a high calorie, hamburger based diet. They are not the same.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

None of our raccoons are named Bandit. Please stop using this harmful stereotype. They didn't ask to be born with eye masks. And they certainly don't live a life of crime, except for Ronnie, who was framed.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

Rumors that our tapir is "just a hog in Groucho Marx glasses" are mostly unfounded

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 08/06/2026

Our chimp Bonzo has entered the Witness Protection Program. Long story.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

Do not accept demo tapes from the red pandas unless you're a record label executive with a fondness for Norwegian death metal.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

Bring us your used motor oil this weekend to receive free admission and help us top up the Tar Pit.

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

Tired: Swan Boats in the Tunnel of Love Inspired: Mole-rat Bumper Cars in the Burrow of Passion

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

Happy retirement to our Galapagos tortoise Robert. He is using his savings to buy a farm in Nebraska and will spend his remaining 23000 days trolling the libs on social media.

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