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Brick's House 🍁

@brickmahoney.bsky.social
14K followers 1.3K following 9.1K posts

hey man it was a joke - no need to involve the authorities why slow down to gawk at auto wrecks when you can view my posts safely 👇 bsky.app/profile/did:plc:cwxdaayqwd…

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
After a bitter divorce, and her very public nervous breakdown at a London night club, Flüf returns with her most personal album yet. 𝘞𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘌𝘨𝘨𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘴 drops this Friday. The first single, the visceral “Pluck You,” is available now on all major streaming services.
A moody glamour shot of a fluffy gray chicken in a grayscale setting.
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Reverse cowgirl so she can keep an eye on the door while I monitor the skylight. SWAT is not gonna get us this time.
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
This day in history. 1990. South Ossetia Independence Day, except South Ossetia is not independent. Its sovereignty is recognized only by Venezuela, Nicaragua, Syria, Fox News, and also Russia but that's just for spite.
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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
HIM: what are you up to? ME: just laying in bed, decomposing HIM: you mean “decompressing?” ME: sure
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Brick's House 🍁 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
kittens = 🥹 puppies = 🥹 baby goats and rabbits = 🥹 baby humans = 😦
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
i learned as a teenager that wearing oversized t-shirts doesn’t make me look any skinnier and at fifty-seven i’ve yet to act on this knowledge
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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
sure i’ve learned a lot from my mistakes. mostly how to make them
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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
The first rule of Overexplaining Club is you do not talk about Overexplaining Club because this is a secret club and we want it to stay a secret, but if you talk about it then people will know it exists, thus ruining the secrecy.
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I don’t keep a drafts folder. I prefer my creative juices to be fresh-squeezed.
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
“Well, I hope you’ve learned your lesson, Jessica.” “I have. I’m never drinking again.” “Good. When you’re done, my food bowl is empty.”
A cat sits on the back of of blonde on her knees, hunched over a toilet bowl.
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
This day in history. 1995. Talk Like a Pirate Day. Some people call it Aaarrrbour Day.
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Much like the mayfly (Ephemeroptera), the cinnamon roll (Tastius Pastrius), has an expected lifespan of only 5 minutes. Unfortunately for this poor creature, it enters the world fully self-aware, entirely comprehending its fate.
a cinnamon roll with an attached pair of shocked-looking eyes above a fold that resembles a mouth, agape
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Cast Away is my favorite film about a hard worker who finally got the lengthy island vacation he deserved.
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Life is short. Tell someone how much you love me today.
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
[Africa] NUN: I'm feeling rather ill. PRIEST: Should I send for the village doctor? NUN: No, thank you. PRIEST: How about the missionary physician? NUN: I'm not in the mood, I told you I was sick.
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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
me: if land in the water is an “island” then water on land should be an “isntland” webster’s editor: how do you keep getting in here
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
This day in history. 1618. The beginning of the twelfth baktun in the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar silly me I'm still writing Baktun 11 on my ritual decapitation invitations.
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Can Bluesky get any smaller? It feels like there are about 30 of us skeeting to each other.
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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
The life cycle of an unsuccessful business: 1. Under construction 2. Grand opening! 3. Temporarily closed 4. Open under new management! 5. Temporarily closed 6. Permanently closed 7. Spirit Halloween
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
i've gone from the guy you'd go up to at a concert because i looked like i probably sold weed to the guy you go up to because i look like someone who probably knows where the bathroom is
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
cop: do you know why I pulled you over? me: because you had an emotionally distant father, an overbearing mother, married a woman just like her, your kids hate you, and you’re taking your anger and frustration out on me? cop: [holding back tears] because your gas cap is open
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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
me: my boss got mad at me because he didn’t see my response to his email. I resent that her: me: her: first of all, aren’t we actually talking to each other in this stupid joke
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Me: How much for the goth golf balls? Cashier: Sir, those are chocolate truffles.
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
This day in history. 1985. Tunagate. In Canada the conservative government of Brian Mulroney deliberately allowed the sale to consumers of a million cans of rancid, decomposed Star-Kist tuna. It's uncertain how many brown paper bags full of cash Mulroney received but three was usually sufficient.
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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Me: I’ll have a small drink. Fast food worker: We don’t have a small. We only have large and medium. Me: *grabs him by collar* THE SMALLEST SIZE CANNOT BE MEDIUM! THAT LITERALLY MEANS MIDDLE!
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
As Fozzie stood at the top step, he felt two tiny, webbed hands shove him from behind. He found himself cartwheeling through empty space, landing squarely on his back with a loud crack. As his vision dimmed, he heard a small, throaty voice from above. "Wokka wokka, motherfucker."
Kermit the frog stands in darkness at the top of a flight of steps, looking down.
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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
[date] her: I do web design me: like charlotte? her: me: do you make your own silk? her: are . . . are you posting this right now?
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Heart pounding in my ears, I run, the muted sound of webbed feet slapping the pavement behind me. I dive into the car and slam the door, shouting in triumph. Turning the key, I am rewarded with nothing but a single dry click. My blood runs cold. From outside the window, I hear a dark, throaty laugh.
Inside shot of a swan staring through the driver’s side window of a vehicle.
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
This day in history. 2025. Robert Redford died. Robert Redford died? Nobody tells me anything.
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
If someone tells you “the secret ingredient is love,” they’re jizzing in the batter. Call the health department.
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Satan: While I don’t understand it, I’m thrilled that someone named these eggs after me.
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
how i like to believe my wife sees me when i get a jar open or kill a spider
This image shows a digital art piece titled "Concur" created by 3D artist Chad Knight. It features a large, muscular metallic figure emerging from water with its arms raised in triumph.Water cascades off the figure's dissolving, pixelated shoulders and torso.
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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
[during sex] Me: what's wrong honey, you seem distracted Her: [solving rubik's cube]
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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
If you drive with the “check engine” light on long enough, another light will pop up saying “oooh, check out the badass”
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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
lol go ahead and report me to HR, I don’t even work here
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Siege @tellumsiege.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I always sit to pee. Even in the living room.
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Shitposts In Tiaras @shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
This is how you shit yourself during a bus stop competition gracefully 🏆👑 Congratulations @brickmahoney.bsky.social from @grrreee.bsky.social
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Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
they’re talking about deploying robot dogs in my city to scare away the homeless and I can’t stop thinking about how proud Jesus would be
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Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
I’m an old soul in the sense that I don’t understand how to work the TV remote and will fall asleep in your favorite chair
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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
*extreme Goose voice* take me to karaoke or lose me forever
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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Saw a vicious cat fight at work and it’s not even 9am yet
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
writing a recipe book for poultry entitled “murder most foul”
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Stephen Monteith, World's Greatest Secret Author @stephens.website · 15/09/2026
"I Need a Gyro" starts playing in the background
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Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I purchased a flutter sleeve leopard print blouse which, like myself, manages to be both cool and frumpy all at once. 
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Sunshine Jarboly @sunshinejarboly.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
i remember one time when i was a kid me & my friends, steve, sodapop, dallas, johnny, darrel, ponyboy & two-bit were going to rumble with some kids from another school but instead we all ended up going to the movie theater to watch e.t.: the extraterrestrial.
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Sunshine Jarboly @sunshinejarboly.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
my wife, after catching me leaving a bowl of water outside: are you leaving out water for the chupacabra again? me: no. {30 seconds go by} yes.
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Brick's House 🍁 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
diarea? diahheahoria? diarrhoeara? diorh-? anyway i crapped my pants at the bus stop again
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
me: HE’S STARTING TO STIR wife: shhhh me: OH MY GOD wife: be quiet me: HE’S GOT A KNIFE wife: i really hate watching cooking shows with you
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
This day in history. 1874. Swiss chocolatier Charles-Amédée Kohler died in an avalanche of hazelnuts.
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