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leemanish.bsky.social

@leemanish.bsky.social
4.4K followers 661 following 2.4K posts

sweetheart of the rodeo 🏳️‍⚧️ design & illustration at whatsupmitch.com

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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
here’s a fake stand-up joke i thought of at work today: folks, axl rose isn’t getting any younger, you know… yep, in fact, recently, he had a nasty fall at home - and ended up having to go in for sha-na-na-na na-na-na-na na-na-na-na knee replacement surgery
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DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
a ant tried to go in my phone. thats for ME to go in
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cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
guys let's start using the word "flammabilia" *turns directly to camera* flammabilia. having run out of fuel, I scoured the forest for flammabilia. flammabilia.
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Cullen @hellocullen.bsky.social · 13/05/2023
Sometimes you don't realize how much you say "ooh la la" till they play your 911 call on the local news
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BayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Every post on a wedding forum: Is it tacky to write thank you notes with a ballpoint pen? 🥺 I already wrote them and I just found out about other pens 😣 Replies: Extremely tacky 🤮 If you don’t know about pens, you shouldn’t be getting married. I’m from the south. And I just have to laugh.
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harpy @harpy.party · 27/09/2026
making love beneath the warm glow of your dad
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
i wish i had a million dollars worth of money
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dan mentos @danmentos.com · 22/09/2026
[job interview] interviewer: so god killed all your kids? job: that's right
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
the cashier at trader joe’s said ‘thanks, have a great day,’ and i responded ‘thanks you’ :(
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
pretty sweet shirt for $20
gray Ativan (lorazepam) t-shirt. great used condition
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
i don’t care how hot someone is - i’m not having sex at the dump
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
co-worker: you look really cute today me: thank you for your honesty
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
that’d better be one heck of a snack shop
76 station sign showing gas prices of $6.69, $6.89, & $6.99 plus there’s a snack shop
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I get home late, dead tired, and see my name in big, bloody letters on the bedroom wall - and I'm like, nope, I will deal with THIS in the morning
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
introducing the modular horse
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J HELL P @jlp.systems · 30/09/2024
You wouldn’t like me and I’m angry
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dan mentos @danmentos.com · 11/09/2026
there's no way it's a coincidence. checkmate atheists
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🦇bat bisque🦇 @badbisque.bsky.social · 19/01/2025
advil for christians
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Degenerate Geometry @acat.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
There should be a Type of Guy class in schools where we can teach all the different types of Guys. Types of Guys are the leading cause of literally all of our current problems.
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 09/08/2023
I love that the beach and the ocean are right next to each other - it works out perfectly
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
jubilant football players mistakenly pour 10 gallons of molten steel on coach :(
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 10/04/2024
I dated a woman named Beep for a while. It started getting serious, and I thought she might be 'the one' - then, suddenly, she just broke it off... It still really hurts whenever I back up a forklift
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bakoon @bakoon.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
having a wank on a sailboat while thousands of wild horses watch silently from both sides of the riverbank
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
if you want a snack but you also have to pee - pee first...then you'll be able to enjoy your snack to the fullest :)
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hotsietozzi @hotsietozzi.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
11 seconds
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
when another car honks at you, deep down i think they’re honking at themselves
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
i’m in my living room watching tv - what are you doing in your living room?
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Nicolas Dream, PhD @afraidofwasps.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
I love to read a beautiful book and have it profoundly change my life for 45 seconds
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Flayin’ the Flannel @flanneloccluded.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
I am a machine that turns adversity into insomnia and stress
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
world’s heaviest toothbrush
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
i’m having a delicious ritz cracker for dessert ❤️
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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
i'm tough on crime but only because i love it so much
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
entirely chrome-plated church - exterior, interior, all furniture and decor…chrome
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Jeff @gojeffgo.com · 07/06/2023
painting of first known ska musician
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BayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Your only choices when comparison shopping are: 𝗦𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗯𝗿𝘂𝘀𝗵 𝗖𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗼𝗻 𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻’𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝗹𝗶𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀 $230 Take a walk on these clouds and we know you’ll see: Comfort has a new name. It’s Style. 𝗧𝗼𝘂𝗰𝗵𝗙𝗮𝗿𝗺 𝗖𝗼𝘇𝘆 𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻’𝘀 𝗦𝗹𝗶𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀 $13 Do not allow in baby crib
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
at lunch, emotionally preparing for the arrival of my croque madame
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
do you think there were any specific foods that jesus just hated?
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
pressing the handheld emergency button so i can ask the MRI tech if my skull looks cute
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
how long after a root canal should you wait to jack off?
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
chewing gun
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tinybaby @tiny.baby · 29/07/2026
New parting phrase I came up with: Keep your penis soft my friend.
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
if i was on my deathbed today, i think my biggest regret would be that i didn’t make more time to surveil people
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
tequila shot with a large cobb salad chaser
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
imagining a guy making a turd so long that the tip starts poking up out of the toilet in the next stall
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Flayin’ the Flannel @flanneloccluded.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
BEAUTIFUL CURB APPEAL
EXPANSIVE CUSTOM WALK-IN CLOSET
SMOOTH WALLS
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
the ointmentor
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leemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 23/12/2025
got the idea for & have started workshopping a new one-woman show: ethel merman sings ok computer
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