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John

@johncnj.bsky.social
3.4K followers 2.6K following 7.5K posts

Previously known as JohnM15 on the bird site. bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7x…

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John @johncnj.bsky.social · 9h
I started being a buzzkill at a very young age. I remember watching Mission Impossible as a kid when Mr. Phelps would pull out the briefcase to pick a crew during the beginning of the show and asking ‘why is the International Monetary Fund getting involved in this anyway?’
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 10h
I’m too highbrow to send dick pics. Mine are phallus photos.
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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 12h
I think my multivitamin short-changed me.
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Kellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 10h
Finish your plate, there are people starving for attention
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stefan @stefanthinks.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
i’m gonna switch from body wash to bar soap and constantly talk about it like they’re the hygienic product equivalent of vinyl records
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korpisworld @kwkorpi.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
When someone says “make yourself at home,” I immediately start wondering which toilet has the strongest flush.
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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 11h
Given up on the garden, I’ve thrown the trowel in.
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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 11h
Listened to a Cars song on the way home. It was just what I needed
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Middle Age Riot @middleageriot.bsky.social · 13h
BELOW: Donald Trump considers bombing the Nobel Committee if they don't give him a peace prize this year.
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Robert Reich @rbreich.bsky.social · 12h
Monopolization: great for executives, terrible for everyone else.
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Matthew Gertz @mattgertz.bsky.social · 11h
Fox News at 30: Even the pretense of impartiality is all but gone www.mediamatters.org/fox-news/fox...
mediamatters.org
Fox News at 30: Even the pretense of impartiality is all but gone
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Don Moynihan @donmoyn.bsky.social · 11h
Rubio called for "unapologetic pursuit of national power" just weeks after the US Ambassador to Greece (who got the job as a break-up present from the President's son) told Greek officials about overthrowing a country's government: "We can do that to any country we want. We can do it here."
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Bradley P. Moss @bradmossesq.bsky.social · 11h
Hey, does anyone out there want to pay my AMEX bill?
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Grudgie the Wail @grudgie.bsky.social · 14h
Completely instantaneous impeachment for anyone else
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Blue Fairylicious Girl🧚 @bluesnowflake.bsky.social · 13h
Trump deserves the Nobel peace prize like America needs another village idiot
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Kevin M. Kruse @kevinmkruse.bsky.social · 12h
The president promised to conduct a whirlwind tour for the 32 days before the midterms, even a long haul to Alaska, and I for one can't wait to see how his fragile 80-year-old body holds up from the strain.
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Middle Age Riot @middleageriot.bsky.social · 10h
Ted Cruz is traveling to a campaign event with Donald Trump on Air Force One, which answers the question, "What would be worse than traveling to a campaign event with Donald Trump on Air Force One?"
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The Volatile Mermaid @ohnoshetwitnt.bsky.social · 13h
“I can do whatever I want” says the guy who denies dozens of sexual assault allegations.
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Robert Reich @rbreich.bsky.social · 15h
Why have so many people fallen behind? It's not because of immigrants, trans people, or any other bogeyman trotted out by the GOP. It's because corporations and billionaires rigged the system in their favor — and a bought-off political establishment let it happen. It's time to fix the system.
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Schooley @schooley.bsky.social · 9h
So you have to sacrifice so Trump can grift another billion or so. Suck it up, Yankee Doodle.
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John @johncnj.bsky.social · 15h
I still can’t believe how tough it is to find Occam's Shave Cream. I would have expected it to be simple and uncomplicated.
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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 17h
In retrospect it probably should have been a red flag that a motivational poster saying “move fast and break things” was hanging in my chiropractor’s office
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 18h
drove past a family that was all dressed alike so made sure my car doors were locked just in case
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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 17h
now that's the fundamental difference between us, bro. you hear baller. I hear bawler.
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richie @theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 17h
it’s always your ocd is driving us nuts never thanks for keeping us safe from unforeseen disasters with your uncanny pattern recognition
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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 17h
To everyone who wrote don't change in my yearbook I'm happy to say I didn't (I stayed awful).
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Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 16h
I'm not reading the job descriptions any more. Let them sort it out on their end.
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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 18h
Watch your step, I lost my marbles.
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John @johncnj.bsky.social · 15h
As disturbing as this headline is, I’ve somehow made it worse by hearing it in the voice of Boris Badenov but replacing moose and squirrel with horse and eel.
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Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
"This is what they asked for. Republicans have had so many opportunities to turn this thing around - there have been 20 war powers votes in the House and Senate since the war started in February - and they’ve just blown past every single off ramp.“
plus.briantylercohen.com
Trump’s Taxpayer-Funded Self-Promotion Just Backfired
An ad promoting the Iran War only serves to remind voters just how much of a disaster the war is, a baffling strategy just a month out from midterms.
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shauna @goldengateblond.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
reminds me of something an emmy-winning comedy writer said years ago in a shared group chat
I have a theory that a lot of the worst people (Ted Cruz, DOnald Trump) would not be in our hair if they had been able to be even remotely successful in the arts. I believe Elon Musk would give it all up for a couple of spots at the Comedy Store. Unfortuntely, people don't find carrying a sink funny so here we are
and if you've seen the videos of Ted Cruz "acting" in college, youd understand how running for senate was actually the only way he could get on tv
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The Bulwark @thebulwark.com · 15h
"If I could pick just one Republican to lose this cycle—the one loss that would give me the most psychic, intellectual, moral satisfaction—it would be Collins. Because she is the living worst." @jvl.bsky.social explains why in today's Triad:
lnk.thebulwark.com
Susan Collins Is the Living Worst
The most despicable Republican is actually the “reasonable” Republican.
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Joel S. @joelhs.bsky.social · 16h
I wrote about Elon Musk, and why it bothers me that he is still first and foremost described in the media as an entrepreneur, rocketeer, or tech mogul, when the most salient fact about him is that he is now the world's most powerful white supremacist. religiondispatches.org/2026/10/06/e...
religiondispatches.org
Elon Musk, the World’s Richest Human, Is a White Supremacist
The latest warning about the Republican Party’s far-right turn has come from the unlikeliest of places: conservative commentator, George W. Bush Chief of Staff, and renowned Republican strategist Karl...
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Middle Age Riot @middleageriot.bsky.social · 17h
Donald Trump: "Mumble bumble grumble. Fricken fracken flurgen flurgen flibbity flib jibbit jabba jibba. Eep ipp opp ork ick ock dippety dip dip. Urrrk braaap bluuuuurp mrrrrph drrrph eeeee ooooo eeeee ooooo. Bleeeaaaarghugh." MAGA: "Four more years! Four more years!"
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Grudgie the Wail @grudgie.bsky.social · 17h
Tinpot Dome
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Tea Pain @teapainusa.bsky.social · 18h
I prefer Presidents that don't call for American cities to be nuked. No one should vote for anyone in his party that fails to speak out against this un-American statement. Period.
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Viva La Crap! @vivalacrap.bsky.social · 16h
This is my first hurricane and all I can think is how relaxing it will be if the power goes out and I don’t have exposure to the presidents tweets for a day or two
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Valerie Bertinelli @wolfiesmom.bsky.social · 16h
What are we going to do about the safety of our vote? He’s literally telling us that he’s rigged the election again and we’re just gonna… what? Let him and Elon do it again?
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Don Moynihan @donmoyn.bsky.social · 17h
Super Intelligence, please tell me which party started the Tariff war and currently controls the Senate?
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John @johncnj.bsky.social · 18h
Maybe someday I’ll be able to see a TV show or movie with a house featuring vaguely Tudor Revival detailing and NOT yell out ‘STATELY WAYNE MANOR!’ and disturb everyone else watching. It’s good to have goals.
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SeaTea @tierno158.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil and I am accruing Fitbit steps.
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Woodrow Peel 🆗🆒 @woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Car ads overestimate how much I want to rock climb and kayak and underestimate how much I want to buy ice cream at midnight.
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Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
One day, I will run this place *ruin
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 18h
"I had Princess Di killed"
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 19h
imagine being mad at me and i’m just over here positing about gravitational forces and gravitons interacting with themselves in extra compact dimensions
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Dak @dak.bsky.social · 21h
Whoever created forklifts dramatically overestimated the weight of forks
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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 18h
Kale is a pretty tasty snack . . . . If you're a rabbit, who's out of Doritos.
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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
drowning in a plethora of cheese would fix me
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Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
The demons don’t want to share the blankets again
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Grudgie the Wail @grudgie.bsky.social · 19h
Reflecting on it, Musk getting into government and making a beeline straight for USAID is one of the most depraved acts in human history. A relatively small department with a relatively small budget but mostly focused on saving the lives of Africans. It’s the first thing he destroyed!
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