iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 31/01/2025

give a man a fish and you are generous make him pay for it and you are sell fish

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alexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 31/01/2025

getting visited by three ghosts but they're not here to teach me a lesson they're just lonely and like my cooking

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Meghan @deloisivete.bsky.social · 25/01/2025

The mess is coming from inside the house

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Mike Vogel @michaelvogel1.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

My Kid: Can we work out together? What I picture happening: (I show my kid how to do a beginner push up and beginner plank) What actually happens: (Kid gets bored halfway through and fires Nerf darts at my head while I try to hold a plank)

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Another Dad Creation @bigpoppadrunk.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

Me: How dare you shit in my living room Dog: How dare you shit in my porcelain drinking fountain

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RealLifeMommy3 @reallifemommy3.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

I always have a glass of milk before bed, only it’s frozen and called ice cream

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Meghan @deloisivete.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

Kids will use any excuse to fight, mine are currently arguing over whose fever is higher

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Gh0sstly @gh0sstly.bsky.social · 11/01/2025

there's a stage in sandwich consumption where it's falling to pieces & you're desperately cupping it in your hands & it's like this poor wounded animal that is covered in mustard & wants to die

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Midge @midge.bsky.social · 20/01/2025

Dry January but it’s just my skin

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XennDad @xenndad.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

2yo: mom can you get me popsicle? Wife: not a popsicle, but I can get you something 2yo: a popsicle?

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Marriage is about understanding what irritates your spouse and using it strategically.

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

JACK: *falls down, breaks crown* JILL: *tumbling after* i told you to quit trying to make fetch happen

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Realfunghi Comics 🍉 @realfunghicomics.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Well whose fault is it!?

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Marl @marlebean.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

My favorite part of Star Wars is when the angry guy was like "call me daddy"

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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

daughter: look daddy, I made you this picture! me: aw honey, what the fuck am I supposed to do with this

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 17/01/2025

for sale: horn never tooted

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Shenanigans @shenanigans.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Get in loser we're defying gravity

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Kiss My Fat Ash 🍑 @tobi-is-fab.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

As soon as my 7-year-old got home from school, he took off his shirt and said, “Ahhhhh, fresh air in my armpits. That’s the good stuff.”

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Meghan @deloisivete.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

My kids built a fort, then asked if I would buy them a mini fridge for it, so I guess I'm not getting that corner of the living room back

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

My family crest is an ice pack next to a heat pack across a field of advil.

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The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain *or* absolutely crush it as an antihero with layers of complexity.

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Midge @midge.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

When more than five bubbas gather, it’s called a Hubba of Bubbas

Six or so good old boys gathered around one truck looking under the hood

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Parentball @parentball.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

*at least once a week* Parent of my kid’s classmate and new best friend while shaking my hand: Hi. I’m Liz. I’m Cindy’s mom. My brain, recording this info: Hi. I’m [redacted]. I’m [redacted]’s mom. #parenting #parentsky

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geekysteven @geekysteven.com · 18/01/2025

The bit in a Metroid game where Samus gets injured and loses all her equipment but it's me spilling hot water on myself when making spaghetti

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

Isn’t it disappointing when you go to give blood and they don’t take all of it?

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 16/01/2025

My mind swirls in an eddy of fear, anxiety, and exultation. It’s only now that I truly understand how a bank robber or a smuggler must feel in the last moments before the crime. I take a deep, calming breath, and slowly place the eleventh item on the belt of the express register.

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

Starting to worry it's not in the cards for me to "take my lunch on the veranda"

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Meghan @deloisivete.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

The neighborhood kids have set up some kind of friend council and there's already some Lord of the Flies stuff going down

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Justmebutnot1 @justmebutnot1.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

I would have thought the doldrums would have a good beat

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Mike Vogel @michaelvogel1.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

Me at 29: (Falls several feet onto my face into dirt, gets back up and continues running 10.5 mile obstacle course) Me at 39: (Sleeps funny, has difficulty lifting a gallon of milk for a couple hours due to resulting back pain. Generally finds walking a chore before my second cup of coffee.)

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Parentball @parentball.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

*meeting omniscient being* OB: you may ask me a single question about anything in the univ- Me, interrupting: has anyone ever actually used the dryer’s “damp” setting?

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mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

My kid saw some fingerless gloves yesterday and was very concerned that people chopped off fingers to wear them.

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mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

It’s Saturday night. I highly recommend you introduce your cats to a rousing game of hungry hungry hippo and share with the rest of us how it goes.

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 11/01/2025

ME: where do you live HER: boulder ME [louder and with more confidence]: WHERE DO YOU LIVE

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alexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

a realistic cookbook where every recipe starts with "step 1: clean up your kitchen"

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

Interviewer: On your resume under skills you wrote "Good boy...?” Dog: Yes, and I have references.

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Parentball @parentball.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

Every time I looked at the weather app today, it said that the snow was stopping in an hour. It snowed all day. If the app could talk, it would have been saying, “No, just one more hour, man, I swear, just trust me, just trust me, I swear, it’s stopping next hour, for reals this time”

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Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · 11/01/2025

Family begging me not to go into the light but it's the refrigerator light and I'm going to get that last piece of cheesecake.

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Midge @midge.bsky.social · 11/01/2025

Air Friar

Old painting of a friar seemingly flying

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 11/01/2025

Math is more fun if you throw a few Roman numerals into the 𝐌𝐈𝐗.

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XennDad @xenndad.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

"chess* is fun!" - my 2yo chess (n.): placing the pieces slowly one by one onto random spaces on the chessboard and then, once complete, kicking them all across the room.

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Sandra Newman @sannewman.bsky.social · 09/01/2025

Writing tip: After you finish, go back & cut all the adverbs. Then all the adjectives. Then all the other words. Eat the paper. Now you're free.

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Meghan @deloisivete.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls

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Kiss My Fat Ash 🍑 @tobi-is-fab.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

Every time I think about how seven layers are cut through in a cesarean section, I start wondering about what other ways I can compare myself to 7-layer-dip.

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Raysident Evil @sireviscerate.myatproto.social · 10/01/2025

Mike's Hard Caffeineated Baby Formulaᵗᵐ

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

I know many of these 31K people are bots but surely one of you can come get me out jail

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☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @captantagonist.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

When asked why there was only one set of footprints Jesus replied "I know how to levitate and I'm not going to walk like a normie, loser."

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