iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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The dumb ignorabt shit head @urplepingo.bsky.social · 30/05/2024

I’m here to do two things chew bubblegum and run out of bubblegum and I’m all out of bubblegum

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Looking back on my life, I can’t help wondering how I got trapped in this shipping container

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 10h

"Now is a season of moderation, a taming of the appetite" - Me, drinking herbal tea from a mug the size of my head

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Jo @whatsjo.bsky.social · 12h

me: Hey, I can’t sleep. Do you think it’s because of stress? hand puppet: *rolls over on my pillow to look at me* you have had a lot on your plate recently.

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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 13h

BREAKING: guy who has been historically bad for everything still going around and being bad for everything

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Jon @arfmeasures.bsky.social · 10/05/2023

Wife: use the newspaper to get that spider down Me *reads the news out loud* Spider *depressed* holy shit

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leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

new idea "hot plunge" it's like a cold plunge except the water is hot

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Roxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt.com · 22/05/2023

If you accidentally fall into the Kool-Aid Man, he starts swishing around like a laundry machine & swallows you whole.

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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Sad news everyone. Our beloved friend the computer has now become a hated enemy

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josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 20/08/2025

The problem with AI is you can't really shoot it in the head yet

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Jo @whatsjo.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

What’s the app where no one’s mad at me?

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sky @iamspacegirl.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

*hiring someone to murder me* I’ll pay for this if it’s the last thing I do

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lukelukeluke @lukelukeluke.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Touching grass is not enough I need to break my arm

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slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

“cutting edge technology” used to mean cool stuff like high speed cameras or Squand. now it’s just a computer that will divorce your wife for you

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Sridhar Ramesh @radishharmers.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

There's a special place in Hell for people like me. It's cushy. Comfortable seating and ample snacks. It's not nearly as painful as the Hell for ordinary people.

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stunt tulpa @highplainsdrifter.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I simply listen to music I want to hear, which is good

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Jo @whatsjo.bsky.social · 13/11/2024

an octopus and squid are similar but very different, for example one is a little bitch

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Jo @whatsjo.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

him: will you at least act normal when my folks get here me: *flipping a pancake and reading it like a tarot card* bad news

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Jo @whatsjo.bsky.social · 03/05/2023

me, as a child: *walks into the kitchen covered in my own blood holding a rabbit I fought from a hawk* my mom, on the phone: *mouthing* I’m on the phone

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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Koalas have fingerprints remarkably similar to ours, which is how they managed to frame the zoo's dentist for bank robbery.

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Mary Gillis @marygillis.bsky.social · 21/10/2023

Edgar Allan Poe really ruined it for anyone who just wants to show their bitter enemy something cool in a catacomb.

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bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

that bumper sticker that says “how’s my driving? call 1-800-EAT-SHIT” was the first real post

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cakemittens @cakemittens.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I'm coming out with a new dish called Chicken Solitaire which is where you eat an entire rotisserie chicken by yourself

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rob @ok-but-still.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

it seems impossible, yet it's proven again and again that everyone but you is a weirdo

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bog landlord @pondslurp.bsky.social · 23/12/2025

every squad has the oblivious homie. except mine i guess

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cait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

well officer, my bin labeled "NOT MY DRUGS" has you asking a lot of questions already answered by the bin

r/legaladvice
u/Final_Mix4281 • 2d
Making something legally not mine in my car
Location: Columbus ohio
Could I put a bin in my car with a label to make sure cops know something in my car isn't mine. I'm 18 but my mom and brother are over the age of 21 and sometimes they will leave liquor or weed in my car. I don't want to get pulled over and get a possession charge for it is there any way I can make it legally not mine while in my car. So they don't have to come to my house to pick it up every time.

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molly @bugmom.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

hey so the other villagers voted to put you in the contraption

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Ask your doctor if jeopardizing your health to make the rich richer is right for you

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Pookleblinky @pookleblinky.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Every friend group has that one friend who was dissected in 1854 and is now a brain in a jar of formaldehyde, screaming soundlessly from deep within a museum's basement a continent away.

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Nate @thenatewolf.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Made the hedge maze extra hard this year. Hope the lord of the manor dies in there.

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bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

if i had a green lantern ring i would use it to help women succeed in business

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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

The difference between a catacomb and a basement is skulls. Catacomb without skulls? Thats a basement. Skulls in your basement? Thats a catacomb. Tired of having to keep saying this

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sky @iamspacegirl.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

I do wish my life were more like a fairytale. Just me and 23 of my closest friends, baked in a pie, waiting to do a jump scare on some king.

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Paul Haine @paulhaine.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

In a restaurant and timing my coughs with those of a louder man’s so nobody knows to get annoyed by me

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Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Beach body season is officially over. It's time to embrace forest floor body season now. I wanna get real mossy. I want some teens to poke me with a stick.

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dan mentos @danmentos.com · 22/09/2026

[job interview] interviewer: so god killed all your kids? job: that's right

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mark magark @markedly.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

[to the tune of I love rock and roll] I hate all my clothes

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The dumb ignorabt shit head @urplepingo.bsky.social · 15/07/2023

In Canada they call Grimace “Purple Dennis”

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Kumail Nanjiani @kumail.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

AI will never be able to make art. Thanks.

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Jo @whatsjo.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

My husband once put color change bulbs that connect to an app on his phone in all the lamps in our bedroom. He knew I was rewatching American Horror Story from the beginning, so from work during the day he’d randomly turn them all bright red. The first time, I ran straight into a door.

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