iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 6h

no Halloween anymore just hell sorry. if u have any complaints, an ai assistant will be with you shortly to do nothing but piss you off more

013014

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

company used ai to “interview” me for a job and when i didn’t understand a question it scolded me lol. It was like “audrey… this is pretty straightforward” and ended the interview shortly after. Anyway they’re training ai to be just as condescending as a regular manager

1272

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

the most perfect advice is from close encounters of the third kind where the mom says “i want you to go outside and have a hot dog”

0261

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I love to be asked how a grocery item is. I will look at you deep in your eyes and tell you the honest truth brother

0221

Reposted by Audrey Farnsworth

Tara Shoe @tarashoe.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Tara: Check out who’s viewing your death in real time on LinkedIn with premium

0412

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

me emerging from an hours long depressive spiral

0150

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Actively having hope, generally, feels like physically dragging around a couch that sometimes crushes your whole ass

2192

Reposted by Audrey Farnsworth

molly @bugmom.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

hey so the other villagers voted to put you in the contraption

7449107

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Oh my internet service will be restored “by midnight,” hm? Brother, by that time I’ll be a skeleton leaned up against a wall that appears to have eaten its own phone

1163

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

me: *crawling around just trying to survive* a streaming service sprinting up to me and punching me in the face: no you CANNOT share an account with your dad!

0332

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

i’ll keep doing these until i find work but please know that i am physically melting as i write them

091

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

One time at my doctor’s office, my doctor’s wife walked into my exam room on accident out of what I thought was a locked closet. She was like “sorry” and I was like “it’s ok.” I thought I died. I think about it once per day

2331

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

When a film website calls something “too goofy for its own good” it’s like do you mean it’s fun. I think you’re talking about it being fun. And bitch more things should be too goofy for their own good

1172

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Collected a new series of unbelievably stupid “job” listings and placed them in my bucket of trash and now it’s garbage day ❤️ audipenny.substack.com/p/report-lin...

audipenny.substack.com

REPORT: LinkedIn Opens Up New HQ in Hell + The Other Job Sites Are Now Eating Each Other

Reporting live from Hell, it’s the worst series in the world that I should NOT have to write!

1110

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

(me strangling my own pain like it's a cartoon character who is annoying me) turn into art you piece of shit

2582143

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

If they still did in-person job interviews I’d walk in with the energy of a scare actor holding a chainsaw

1162

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

RFK jr has climbed into my home like a spider and is currently stealing my food out of my fridge

3210

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Jiminy cricket? More like criminal cricket. You heard me

2140

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

I want to put rfk jr in a slingshot and fling him into the film War of the Worlds (2005) and that's his reality now. Every moment he will deal with being hunted by alien with tom cruise. He will be so fucking scared all the time

2372

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

overdosing on McDonald’s happy meals

2151

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

me giving a speech to a bunch of hot dogs: you guys I’m really sorry. I don’t know why I’m here or why any of us are here. Do you know why I’m saying this to you? Have we all died

417522

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

this job application lets you choose “captain” as a title and since I already know they won’t respond I think I will choose myself today. That’s right, fuckos - captain audrey farnsworth is applying for this position

76119483

Reposted by Audrey Farnsworth

Garth Marenghi's Catbus @catbus.phd · 26/01/2024

meet me at the brutalist KFC in ten minutes if u want an ass kicking

a heavy concrete building in the brutalist style housing a Kentucky Fried chicken franchise

1142897614

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Person I have met 1 thousand times: have we met? me for some reason: yeah but no worries sometimes I have a different head

0504

Reposted by Audrey Farnsworth

Tara Shoe @tarashoe.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

(after spending an hour perfecting my application to a job) lol good luck with that, you fucking losers. like I’d ever commute to el fucking segundo… you fucking losers!

0312

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

if I step even 1 foot into the street to jaywalk a Waymo will immediately hit me and I’ll flip over in the air until my pants fall off. I’ll survive but it will be embarrassing

1472

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

Once again my neighbor is making her horrible soup that flies up through the floors trying to become the landlord of my whole life

2182

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

I should not have the option on any streaming service to watch gwyneth Paltrow give me a tour of her home past 12 am. It should Not be allowed. They should lock it with the message “no no lol not now queen. shhhh”

0200

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I know this copy/photo combo was a mistake but it’s also exactly what women’s activewear would look like if shit were Fucking up to me

0354

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Then going ah man cmon and shooting a building with a gun. I love him lmao

1130

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

An innocent acquaintance to me at the grocery store: hey man how’s it g me, gently taking your head in my hands before sprinting out an emergency exit door that sets off an alarm:

3254

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

at this point if someone talks to me about Halloween in August I gently hand them a flyer while crying that says too hot sorry

1315

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

“If you know you know” well I don’t. And do you know what I never will. (Puts my hand on your shoulder) I never fucking will brother

0283

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

If u are making a content video and tappy tap something to your camera by me I will unhinge my jaw and eat whatever thing u just tapped your manicure nails on. Even if it’s not food. And it will be an accident so get off my ass about it

0200

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

awww how cute the job websites are eating each other

0272

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

my brain is a cartoon on crutches wobbling down the street badly. the news is following it in a helicopter because for some reason it’s also a criminal! i’m on the news man

1335

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

I was feeling bad and my dog put her paw on me and had the idea of maybe I if made her dinner that would help? And do you know what she was right

1803

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

Batman the animated series made me believe in a formative manner that there’d be a whole Fucking lot more goddamn blimps in my life. But there’s almost no blimps. Every time I see a blimp, I gasp. I shouldn’t have to gasp. Blimp should be around for my life. Where blimp

36669107

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Staying up so late is just my way of defeating time and just like so many things I am definitely right about this statement. Every night I defeat time and everything is fixed

36814

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Hopefully, one day, a small man will jump out of a portal that just appeared and run up to me and hand me a miniature clock and a receipt from 2018. And I will be like “what is this” and he’ll just flip me off

05110

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

person: hey Aud how’s it g me, not only interrupting you but also running straight at you then shoving you into a wall: i cleaned him with a vacuum

Pancake king puppet i made in college which is the best thing i did in all of school actually

2333

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

Sometimes you get a bill in the mail and you nod at it and you place it right back into the mailbox. Sometimes that is what you Fucking do

1403

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

this is a great hat to wear literally every place including my own apartment

Hat says can’t afford to be here haha! “Haha” “joke”

09013

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

When Jurassic park came out i was 6 and one of my first known coherent thoughts of my life was that I thought “an adventure 65 million years in the making” meant it took them that long to make the movie

1615

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

Just watched Mitch McConnell perform a spoken word poem at an open mic in Phoenix. Beautifully I might add and his wife even joined him on stage

4756

Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

please do not thanks we received your payment to me. do not do it. and I would like it back please

1303