slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 1hlincoln had “four score and seven years ago” now we have “people are walking under, crap was falling off it all the time” 1232
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 01/10/2026“cutting edge technology” used to mean cool stuff like high speed cameras or Squand. now it’s just a computer that will divorce your wife for you 213115
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 01/10/2026green day hitting the snooze button until november 1724
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 01/10/2026“independent” movies are always like 🎥 van gum presents a studio scope 🔭 film from ♣️ club media ♣️ in association with 🙈 naked monkey™️ 21035
Reposted by slate𝕭𝖑𝖆𝖈𝖐𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝕻𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖊𝖘 @blackoutprincesses.neocities.org · 01/10/2026IT BEGINS TOMORROW 0594
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 30/09/2026i think anyone who believes these guys in particular would actually allow “universal high income” should be tested for lead poisoning 114213
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 30/09/2026this is the kind of public embarrassment that only happens in nightmares or a tim robinson skit 2438957
Reposted by slateCage @ridiculouscage.bsky.social · 26/09/2026"why would I deceive you?" 130105322098
Reposted by slateconputer dipshit @davidcrespo.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I’m sorry, but if you bring gypsum - or any damn mineral below 3 on the Mohs scale at all - to a job interview, you’re disqualified. It’s not hard, people. 562064282
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 26/09/2026iced coffee is junior level. the real power move is bringing a corn on the cob to your interview 1392847334
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 26/09/2026pausing over this long enough to make the meta algorithm flag me as a threat to muse’s safety 5875
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 26/09/2026no you’re right, email i unsubscribed to, i did want to keep receiving your emails. this non consensual persistence will surely make me a loyal customer 213714
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 25/09/2026pretty sure there’s no bigger advocate for banning kids from breweries than other parents. this is my sanctuary, get those creeps out of here 1490
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 24/09/2026i have not watched Reacher mostly because I do not want to ruin my assumption that he talks like a Pokemon and his only lines are “Reacher reach reach” 3732
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 24/09/2026gen X boss sent an email to me to complain that my email could’ve been a phone call. then he sent 3 follow-up emails 2623
Reposted by slatespooky cannoli @boner.ink · 23/09/2026is every ad gambling now, like do other companies even advertise anymore or has the economy completed its transformation into casino 471159130
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 21/09/2026jail guard: you get one phone call me: um ok *dialing* hey i’m in jail 911: we should make this number harder 2974
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 21/09/2026i’ll be spared from the AI apocalypse bc of all the quality time i spent with my devices 19512
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 19/09/2026TSA: any carry on? vulture: no thanks i already ate 124632
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 18/09/2026times are stupid now but i think i would’ve enjoyed history class more if the textbooks dished out petty drama like “then the president threatened to demolish a memorial for jfk because he wasn’t allowed to put his own name on it” 314011
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 17/09/2026you have to see that it is very risky, politically speaking, to be on the side of the majority of people 213115
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 17/09/2026what if ghosts are just disappointed in our performance 6576
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 17/09/2026it’s not illegal to give the president a skateboard 61319
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 17/09/2026i don’t want to hear about hyrox anymore thank you 3432
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 16/09/2026everyone is plotting against me just because i’ve done everything in my power to harm them 39610
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 16/09/2026ah sure we can’t get gas or eat food but that’s just the sacrifice americans are willing to make to say the R word 215112
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 14/09/2026how i show up to work to get some free coffee then go home sick 2996
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 14/09/2026every time i try to break up with capitalism she seduces me all over again 1757990
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 12/09/2026NETFLIX Your Next Watch 🟨⬜️🟪🟧🟦🟥 We Think You’ll Love These 🟪🟧🟥⬜️🟦🟨 Need A Good Laugh? 🟧🟦🟨🟪🟥⬜️ New On Netflix ⬜️🟪🟧🟥🟨🟦 1826624
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 12/09/2026the mechanic offering me $5000 so he can keep shitting in my car 2424
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 11/09/2026don’t laugh about 9/11 it only encourages the terrorists. they think they’re comedians. just ignore their little pranks 0385
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 10/09/2026i’m a fan of the Alone tv show but every participant is like “i love my family so much, they’re the reason im getting as far away from them as possible with no communication for as long as i can survive” 7615
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 10/09/2026“AI will kill us all in a decade” buddy we got global warming, forever chemicals, anti-vaxxers, and diarrhea food way ahead of AI, get to the back of the line 313116
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 10/09/2026insider trading but it’s just buying grindr stock right before a republican convention 212119
slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 09/09/2026day 12 of posting online until they pay me to stop 1501
