Sign in

bort

@crushbort.bsky.social
31K followers 311 following 6.3K posts

cinematographer for Doogal (2006)

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by bort
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
the dogs finding another bunny nest
6631
Reposted by bort
tinybaby @tiny.baby · 2h
My favorite part about this story is you know there's at least one person in this guy's life who has secretly been thinking I fucking bet this guy's dad is Michael McDonald but never said it because that's crazy and now he's losing his mind
324718
Reposted by bort
Cosmik Shriek 😱 @brightanimal.bsky.social · 4h
This absolute fetish for sanctimony, this fantasy that they will turn their lumpy, weeping heads to you and say "boo hoo hoo, can you ever forgive us"
0372
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 4h
talking about forgiving trump voters when trump is still in office is some goofy shit. ohhh i love imagining myself being magnanimous to my mortal enemies who i definitely don’t think should turn their 500 million guns on themselves
721628
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 17h
on the subject of prescient 2016 tweets
Joy Reid @JoyAnnReid • 1h
And yet when Democrats regained power, they didn't seek to jail Cheney, Wolfowitz, Feith et.al. for lying to Congress, cooking intel etc.
{구 274
534
Joy Reid • @JoyAnnReid
Say what you want about Democrats, but they don't play politics that way.
526923
Reposted by bort
Chert @chert.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
please help… my son…
photo of a forklift w/ a pallet jack sitting on its forks like it was an adult carrying a child across its arms
4554981224
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 20h
you would never see me again
Everyone: there's more fish in the sea
The fish in the sea:
A random fact I love is
i'm getting brain surgery June 27 and July 6: 10l

LMAOOO this is literally my profile! And getting brain surgery doesn't make me less of a bad ass bitch
"L (")_/ just trying to be honest and laugh about it
41509
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 20h
like tears in rain
Kurt Eichenwald •
@kurteichenwald • 2m
While hentai (until now, I thought it was called manga) was on screen as part of search to prove 2 my wife tentacle porn exists, what....(1)
17
17 24
17
く
Kurt Eichenwald •
@kurteichenwald • 4m
Replying to @kurteichenwald
...some to show her it was real. But I couldn't find any - & ended up w/ this. My family reads my twitter feed, so they know this is true.
V
54
17 59
68
Kurt Eichenwald •
@kurteichenwald • 5m
く
Sigh. Ok, I'm a dumbass. Believe it or not, my kids & I were trying to convince my wife that "tentacle porn" existed. I tried to find...(1)
•112
包 138
82187396
Reposted by bort
Football is here Dan @jacketdan.bsky.social · 21h
I kept mine but then painted one that I had never finished in the same colors to compare
1181
Reposted by bort
Gyrtop @gyrtop.bsky.social · 21h
I’ll raise you the first skaven I painted when I was like, nine and tried to photobox with printer paper
1181
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 22h
looking at old photos of my first painted orks and it’s got the whole deal: bad posing, bad photography, undrilled barrels, amateurish wash application. just missing the painted over cat hair. i would love to learn all this stuff all over again
really badly posted ork boyork boy with a simple contrast jobpoorly photographed ork boysfirst painted ork with a rokkit launcher
6261
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 23h
i grabbed a jolly rancher from the communal office candy dish that looked like it had been run over several times and thought “well it’s just a jolly rancher, how bad could it be.” and now i feel like im gonna barf. looks like it’s curtains for weird twitter accounts that peaked over a decade ago
6830
Reposted by bort
UncleofJamiroquai @jessefarrar.com · 01/10/2026
It seems quaint now that we do all our banking and race science there, but, nevertheless, it's true: at one time, people mostly wrote jokes on Twitter. 10 years ago, I wrote one about an old asshole and it kinda changed my life. Not his, though. www.cnn.com/2026/10/01/u...
cnn.com
The tweet that defined a decade of Trump | CNN
It’s been 10 years since Jesse Farrar accidentally defined a political era with one pithy, prescient tweet. He wishes it never happened.
872210380
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 23h
the gall of that fucker putting out a book
41676
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
when your friend asks if you’re still in a 40k league and says they’ve been thinking of getting into it
0576
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
lol
Nothing worse than following someone you think is cool and discovering their prude side. Like ohhh thats why my hilarious old man yaoi joke went unappreciated. You're Basic
71330
Reposted by bort
ceej @ceej.online · 02/07/2024
Portrait of Nixon, fancam filter, glitter text reading VINDICATED
1530028
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
every time i search for something on here there’s an 80 percent chance I get someone’s drawing of the jugged out version of that something. and frankly it sucks. both the art and the realization I’m the same species as someone cranking their shit to bad drawings of their ork OC with DDDs
9952
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
You have successfully been unsubscribed. You will not receive any more messages from…THIS number
lady about to text you for donations from a different number
31576
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
they clean the garbage out every night ☝️
0390
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I went to open the sliding glass door to let the dog out to pee and she immediately ran over and swatted the mop by the door right into my groin and ran outside. perfectly executed nut shot, immediately doubled over. proud of her
114110
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
there is nothing quite as annoying as a hail of bullets
3433
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
i’m laughing because i was leaving my office and saw my sushi bowl in the trash can getting hit directly by the sun and didn’t do anything about it. kiss my ass tomorrow me
31274
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
when jesus multiplied the fish and bread did it make a boing sound effect like the eagle man commercial or was it more of a raining sparkles sound like at the start of an r&b song
6740
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
im on about three hours sleep and juggling a dozen different fires today but i have to say this: once this country was able to accept a fraud like koko the gorilla as true it shouldn’t come as a surprise that donald trump got elected twice
411110
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I like Reese's peanut butter cups because Reese's is also from Hershey. However Callista got me a Reese's peanut butter egg. It is good too.
about 7 hours ago vis web
239254
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
“Democrats have finally found what they believe is a winning message: Reminding voters that former President Trump pressured Republicans to kill a bipartisan bill that would impose tougher border controls and make it harder to get asylum.” www.nbcnews.com/politics/202...
Harris' immediate goal is to signal to moderate voters that she will be an aggressive enforcer of the law and keep migration in check.
After struggling on the issue, Democrats have finally found what they believe is a winning message:
Reminding voters that former President Trump pressured Republicans to kill a bipartisan bill that would impose tougher border controls and make it harder to get asylum.
316324
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
we asked patrons at this Idaho diner how they felt about Trump’s weird ass—and you won’t believe how down bad they are for some “mar-a-lago peaches”
1433
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
i’m going to beat up backpack the fat bear and livestream it for no other reason than to ruin someone’s search for fat bears on here
2240
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
you ever see a guy and think that guy is thinking about walking too much. like he’s got a walking animation in mind
5370
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
a lot of people on here have moved left from what were indefensible positions on immigration and I/P and the ones who haven’t have driven themselves absolutely insane. a dozen walmart mikes just bouncing off each other in a padded room
31536
Reposted by bort
Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
show me a democrat that ran in 24 on a humane and compassionate response to the republican plan of ethnic cleansing. there were none
1747037
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
there’s something outside on the window sill of my office and i can’t tell if it’s a poop, a dead mouse, or a dead bird. does anyone want to see it
8270
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
i’m an herbalist and a healer. allow me to tend to your wounds with this poultice recipe passed down from several generations of 1.8 GPAs
015613
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
the way my dogs get along so well makes me wonder why parents have any trouble with what are more or less smarter versions of dogs
3461
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
918415
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
there is a dachshund on one of the grooming tables at petsmart looking at me like it’s ready to give me its life savings to get it out of there. i’m so sorry little guy
0842
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Licensed Grogu Character is coming to Soul Calibur VII as an Xbox exclusive
3352
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
impressive—you’ve managed to fatally shoot and stab me over a dozen times each, leave my body in a dumpster, and flee to a country with no extradition treaty. but how will you handle my “crane” style
2803
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
that bumper sticker that says “how’s my driving? call 1-800-EAT-SHIT” was the first real post
41111
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
reading this and seeing the “follows you” must be what a dog or cat feels like when you pet it backwards
61966
Reposted by bort
Mica Rosenberg @micarosenberg.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
We found immigration courts have issued more than 10,000 removal and voluntary departure orders each month for immigrant minors — nearly four times the rate as Trump’s last term. With legal representation disappearing that pace could accelerate www.propublica.org/article/unac...
propublica.org
These Immigrant Kids Were Once Protected. Under Trump, Their Deportations Have Tripled.
A first-of-its-kind ProPublica analysis found that children who entered the U.S. by themselves are being detained and removed at about three times the rate they were during the final years of the firs...
8209119
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
please consider that when you post about all men being bad or disgusting you are going to cause a bunch of self flagellating guys to come writhing out of the ground like earthworms and the rest of us have to see it
538238
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
17888102
Reposted by bort
The Go Off Kings @gooffkings.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Yes it was worth it
253117
Reposted by bort
Jordan aka Jirdan @slclunk.com · 28/09/2026
This dipshit with the retracting hairline Hitler Youth Swoop committed four felonies to build *THIS*
The ugliest god damned house I’ve ever seen. With one bottom corner with no widows, which I can only assume is his Nazi sex dungeon
1315411
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I think this pfp has made me stupider. i don’t think I even took in the B on the hat until now
2240
Reposted by bort
m @keptsimple.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I noticed last year that sweetgreen pivoted to MAHA when it started advertising seed oil-free french fries. Going MAHA is what a failing restaurant chain does now to get free advertising.
211072143
Reposted by bort
Michael Warburton @michaelwarburton.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
In 1956 the late great PETER CUSHING invited a film crew into his Kensington home to show off his hobby — painting miniature toy soldiers, and playing with them in the rules set down by fellow toy soldier hobbyist H.G. Wells.
924649