‘Ol Melissaround @wakamellem.bsky.social · 20h“No.” Is the clearest most concise sentence known worldwide. 010
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundIt's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 09/10/2026"Can we have healthcare?" "No can do but live-streamed executions are a go" 626468
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundSunshine Jarboly @sunshinejarboly.bsky.social · 09/10/2026e.t.: the extraterrestrial at chilis’s, pointing his long finger at a passing server carrying a plate of nachos: guuaaa-caaaa-mooooleee. me: no, e.t., no. don’t point, its rude. e.t.: {slowly lowers his head. wonders if his ship will ever return.} 162
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundSpooky Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 08/10/2026one time in 3rd grade I thought I'd be funny and I brought a harmonica to school because typically by afternoon I'd be kicked out of class to sit in the hallway. I thought it'd be funny to play the harmonica in the hallway like it was a jail cell 1/ 36724
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundRebecca McCarthy - Game Writing & Narrative🔜 MCM Comic Con @rebeccamwrites.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Dressmaker is a masterpiece. 11696212138
Reposted by ‘Ol Melissaroundgeekysteven @geekysteven.com · 08/10/2026"Clowns are scary" wasn't a mainstream sentiment until Stephen King's It. Similarly, before Texas Chainsaw Massacre, people loved leatherfaces. 823859
Reposted by ‘Ol Melissaroundceej @ceej.online · 08/10/2026waymos are driven by the ghosts of people who died in debt 402668408
Reposted by ‘Ol Melissaroundmindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Do what you love (never working a day in your life) and you'll never work a day in your life 229160
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundSolomon @solomonrmissouri.com · 07/10/2026New sentence dropped www.tmz.com/2026/10/06/a...tmz.comAmerican Airlines Passenger Allegedly Put Her Legs Against Window As She Masturbated11:57 AM PT -- TMZ has obtained video of the incident. 10962179
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundGef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 07/10/2026ass down face up that's the way I like to sit comfortably in a big soft chair 58418
Reposted by ‘Ol Melissaroundgeist, now with double the hauntings @prettyvulgar.bsky.social · 07/10/2026pinball machine flippers as hip tattoos 2023382
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundPot Shop Boo @potshopboy.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Them: How are you? 26320
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundBraden Serkas 🎃 @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 05/10/2026“What was it like growing up in the ‘80s” one day I had to pull buckshot out of my leg with a pair of pliers and it bled so much that I learned how to sew because nobody was coming home for hours, and when they did I got in trouble for not putting the pliers back in the right place 1222342
Reposted by ‘Ol Melissaroundmindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Whenever an egg rolls slightly too close to the edge of the kitchen counter I scream and immediately lose consciousness 616234
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundfuturedadOfTwo🙋🏻♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 01/10/2026god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change and the change to make a wish in this fountain 211230
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundViktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Typical Sunday. Read the Bible to my cat and spilled nachos on my sex cape 516330
Reposted by ‘Ol Melissaroundfredesque @fredtaming.bsky.social · 04/10/2026emergency hotdog that heats up when you crack it like a glow stick 411900323
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundBraden Serkas 🎃 @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Nothing makes me feel like more of an abject failure at life than when a beautiful woman calls me “dude,” and dear reader I once crashed an airplane. I should probably explain. 1221474
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundFᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 02/10/2026[walking home early after another bad date] looks like my online sensual juggling classes were a waste of time 17733
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundStevevsninjas @stevevsninjas.bsky.social · 04/12/2024in your moment of greatest peril, every animal you ever swerved to avoid appears to fight on your behalf 1436375
Reposted by ‘Ol Melissaroundlukelukeluke @lukelukeluke.bsky.social · 03/03/2024We weren’t meant to thrive in a fast paced work environment we were meant to collect berries in the summertime and lie down for a whole day after mistaking the bad orange mushroom for the good orange mushroom 443832760
Reposted by ‘Ol Melissaroundlydelle BLEAAAH!ster @babyshoes4cash.com · 03/10/20262027: u.s. invents triarrhea 315035
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundRedruM @dorsalstream.bsky.social · 31/10/2023I like going to the cemetery early in the morning because, if you’re calm and patient, the skeletons will approach and even eat right out of your hand. 7858234
Reposted by ‘Ol Melissaroundceej @ceej.online · 24/11/2024trying to pull on a sock while sitting on the toilet and blacking out like a fighter pilot pulling high Gs 381747163
‘Ol Melissaround @wakamellem.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Feminize a band name GirlJam Aeroslit Postpartum Blues Traveler 021
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundZeroooO0OooooO0Ooooo @scootercomputer.bsky.social · 21/08/2026Robbing a bank through the drive thru by sending a note and the gun through the little tube thing 1176
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundJanel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 01/10/2026my phone has helpfully categorized my photos of “child” (a picture of myself aged 31), “cat” (my dog), and “Pugwash Nova Scotia” (a place no one has ever looked for a photo of) 722013
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundBraden Serkas 🎃 @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 01/10/2026My retirement plan is an abandoned shipping container full of old copper pipes 1010933
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundElle @elleisanisland.bsky.social · 30/09/2026no shade to my younger self but where were you going with this 214443
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundSiege @tellumsiege.bsky.social · 30/09/2026I’d love to visit Japan just not during Godzilla season 817766
‘Ol Melissaround @wakamellem.bsky.social · 29/09/2026anti Talarico ads saying he’s “for they/them. not you.” 010
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundDak @dak.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Ordering dinner via QR code feels less like going out for hospitality and more like submitting an IT helpdesk ticket for a bowl of pasta. 192014227
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundSalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Before AI comes for us, I need you to know *sound of modem dialup* 714947
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundCage @ridiculouscage.bsky.social · 26/09/2026"why would I deceive you?" 131105522101
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundRob Sheridan @rob-sheridan.com · 23/09/2026I don’t know who needs to hear this, but Costco has a $50 giant Frankenstein head made of green chocolate that includes a mallet for smashing his head open at which point a pound of gummy body parts will spill forth from the edible wreckage of his face 46966298
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundMichael Warburton @michaelwarburton.bsky.social · 24/09/2026The best sign in the history of everything. 855902933
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundJason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 24/09/2026I don’t wanna be an alpha. Bitch I’m tryna frolic 6326113
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundMichael Warburton @michaelwarburton.bsky.social · 23/09/2026PRISENCOLINENSINAINCIUSOL (1972) by ADRIANO CELENTANO This insanely addictive song was intended to sound to its Italian audience as if sung in English, the lyrics however are complete gibberish - with the exception of the words "all right". 82844182
Reposted by ‘Ol Melissaroundthe hype @thehyyyype.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Really pumped for the new Jason Statham movie 4579
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundThe Volatile Mermaid @ohnoshetwitnt.bsky.social · 22/09/2026If someone ever calls you a crazy cat lady, say “actually I’m a crazy catWOMAN” then lash him with your whip before backflipping away into the shadows. 1478174
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundMichelle @michelleroy78.bsky.social · 22/09/2026I hate when I'm buying organic vegetables and when I get home I discover they're just regular donuts. 1542599204
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundRobert Reich @rbreich.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Five corporations control 90% of the US media. Airlines have merged from 12 major carriers in 1980 to 4 today. A handful of companies control the pharmaceutical industry. Four giants control 80% of meat processing. The evidence of corporate concentration is everywhere. 719160466064
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundMichael Warburton @michaelwarburton.bsky.social · 21/09/2026This aired just the once in 1998 on the live SNL show for which McKay wrote it. It was effectively banned as it never aired again. I wonder why. MEDIA-OPOLY 258144206834
‘Ol Melissaround @wakamellem.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Wandering around asking anyone to please snap my neck like my chiro does. Seems pretty simple. Please? 000
Reposted by ‘Ol MelissaroundBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 17/09/2026Maybe the most important political story of our time. People just want the bullshit to stop.gizmodo.com71% of Americans Say They're Completely ExhaustedA CDC report shows that people are not feeling relaxed and restful in the United States. 1400266996702
