iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 2h

I love the trend where people post old photos showing they were an unlikely match for their spouse in high school but unfortunately I cannot participate because my husband and I look like we would have formed an Evanescence cover band if we’d met in 2009

Teenage girl with long blonde hair holding an electric guitar

Teenage boy with long blond hair glaring at the camera on the side of a mountain

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

if anyone needs me I will be kicking down the door of the Papal Apartments with the Furby I owned in 1999, demanding that His Holiness issue an encyclical recognizing its eternal soul

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

my phone has helpfully categorized my photos of “child” (a picture of myself aged 31), “cat” (my dog), and “Pugwash Nova Scotia” (a place no one has ever looked for a photo of)

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

chips: we put more air in the bag cookies: we put fewer cookies in the box fruit cups: we have bent the laws of time and space to fit 4 litres of juice in this 250ml cup. God himself told us "stop, that's too much juice" and then we flipped him off and added more juice.

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Instagram algorithm: here's stuff you like Twitter algorithm: here's stuff that makes you mad Facebook algorithm: you will now be dropped headfirst into a bizarre public feud involving a small business in a town you've never been to and several socially maladapted strangers

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

“Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall” is such a nice quote that you can almost forget that it comes from a book about disillusioned rich people committing vehicular manslaughter

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

parents’ kitten has figured out that there are birds outside

Blue point Siamese kitten clinging to screen door with wide eyed expression

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

hello darkness my old friend how is there breaking news again

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

[googling stuff in 2011] this is fine, I guess, but I wish I had to scroll past bad information regurgitated by a robot to find anything useful

Google AI overview displaying conversion weights for different measurements of butter, incorrectly indicating that 1/3 of a cup of butter weighs 36g more than a half cup

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

It's interesting how the invisible mechanics of daily life seem to get more and more visible as things get worse. Feels like this time next year we'll be gathering to hear proclamations of our potato yields and the tonnage of zinc we mined last year.

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

submission guidelines: you can use US or UK spellings, so long as you are consistent me: listen it's not my fault you don't recognize the unique flavour that is Canadian English

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

my summer tan is fading, which means it's almost time to switch my foundation shade from "sickly underbelly of a dead fish" back to "ghost haunting the basement of an Opera house"

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

the one upside to looking like an actual clone of your mother is that you can probably use her old photos to convince people you’re a time traveler Mom in 1969, me in 1998

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

going to a gas station right now feels like walking into a restaurant on March 12, 2020 and seeing the staff start to stack up the indoor dining chairs

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

relationship problems (books): I love him but he is a commoner relationship problems (my friends): I love him but maybe we’re just too comfortable? relationship problems (Reddit): I love him but he locks me in the toolshed and won’t allow me to make eye contact with mammals

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

“oh, are you from the Halifax in Canada or the Halifax in the UK?” “The one that’s in the EU” [loud O Canada noises]

Canadian flag flying over Halifax Nova Scotia

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I mean if you really want to hear Ed Sheeran without any opening acts you can simply get put on hold with your bank

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Reposted by Janel Comeau 🍁

alexis nedd @alexisthenedd.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

congrats to ed sheeran on his achievement

screenshot of an achievement from the game Disco Elysium. The achievement is titled "the world's most laughable centrist" for defending the political centre 7 times. 23.6% of players achieved this.

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

he played the middle in front of Irish bands now no one’s on tour with this English man

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

on a scale from "maybe we'll hold off on that road trip for now" to "yeah I reckon the backyard is big enough for a horse", how bad is this fuel crisis going to be

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

rewatching Futurama and every episode is either: - silly Fry episode - silly Bender episode - silly Zoidberg episode - you are of infinitesimal significance to the cosmos and you are doomed to live and die in a blink of existence, trapped in the relentless onward march of time

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

in full support of Canada joining the EU just so I can say that this combo is “the latest European fashion”

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

“we are currently experiencing higher than normal call volumes”

Elizabeth Holmes “why would I deceive you” meme

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

it’s important to take breaks from worrying about rising inequality and climate change so you have time to also worry about the fact that we’ve sent so much clutter into space that we’re at constant risk of a chain collision that makes satellite tech unusable for generations

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

a fun fact about chihuahuas is that they have the tongue of a regular-sized dog hidden in their mouths

Chihuahua licking the smoothie remnants in a juice glass with her long tongue

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

listening to both types of Canadian folk music: - I am from Ontario or Newfoundland [wistful] - I am from Ontario or Newfoundland [derogatory]

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

I would like to propose that Submittable add a new status, called "an editor is looking at your submission RIGHT NOW, like RIGHT NOW, and you should DEFINITELY obsess over how long this is taking"

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

happy fourth anniversary of the time I walked into a bakery to purchase the most decadent cake they had for my 30th birthday and accidentally gave the impression that I was holding an impromptu celebration of the death of Queen Elizabeth II

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

the dog I adopted as a sickly rescue and painstakingly nursed back to health, ignoring me to stare lovingly at the guy who sometimes lets her lick yogurt cups when he’s done with them

White chihuahua staring lovingly up at man with long blonde hair holding a coffee cup

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

body like a back road (in poor condition due to decades of deferred maintenance, worsening economic conditions, and the deficiencies of the local governance)

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

if I turned on the TV and saw live footage of an act of mass violence so shocking and horrific that it cleaved life as I knew it into "before" and "after", I just don't think my first instinct would be "fetch a TV on wheels, I need to show this to a bunch of 7-year-olds"

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

The year is 2045. Small bands of survivors eke out a hardscrabble living amongst the ruins of civilization. Mega-storms and wildfires carve deep scars through wastelands inhospitable to human life. The Bank of Canada holds key interest rates at 2.25%.

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

looking for an empty seat at a cafe in September in a university town

Screenshot from Disney’s Snow White, showing Snow White with her face pressed into a window

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

yeah you’re totally getting screwed by buying stuff you need at a price you can afford, it makes total economic sense to stop buying oil, electricity, aluminum, lumber and fertilizer until you can figure out how to make Canada import $60 billion in Jeep Cherokees and Dr. Pepper

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

update: my parents’ new kitten has discovered the fish tank

Siamese kitten staring intently at fish tank

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

I just think that if one of my coworkers suddenly got really really good at her job and told me it was because she was taking secret lessons from an angel who lived in her mirror, I would probably have a lot more follow-up questions

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

MPDRA (Make Prion Disease Rampant Again)

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

In honour of Dolly Parton, encourage your children to read books. In honour of Tim Curry, encourage them to play near an open storm drain in the rain.

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

my parents adopted their first kitten this week and bought her the largest cat tree they could find, so now she constantly monitors the situation like this

Small kitten at the top of a very large cat tree

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

I am finally going to come out and say it: we have put hot honey on enough things

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Are you funny? Do you relish the idea of accidentally deceiving American news outlets into quoting a satirical article? Do you have niche regional jokes about central Manitoba that the world must hear? Come write for the Beaverton with me!

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Anglo Canadians being forced to conjugate être in the fourth grade: god I hate Quebec, French is the worst Anglo Canadians when an American insults Quebec:

Blurry screenshot of former Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien choking out a journalist on live TV

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

trying to win a trade negotiation with Canada by demanding less French is like trying to win a game of checkers by jamming your dick in an electrical outlet

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

diarrhea Taylor Farms, salmonella chicken parm, bags of frozen blueberries that straight-up kill your ass heavy metal sourdough, listeria soup bowl refreshing summer popsicle that's filled with shards of glass we didn't start the fire...

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

ah yes, who among us can’t relate to the time when a patient almost died right in front of you so you put the SCISSTI&DOTLẼŮR pocket and SHĚN{TE&FUR knew?

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

I have recalled the groceries that are in your pantry and which you were probably planning to eat forgive me they’re full of salmonella and maybe broken glass

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

A little bit of salmonella in my eggs A little bit of salmonella chicken legs A little bit of salmonella in the pie A little bit of salmonella and you might die

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

if I had to guess, he joined a Private Equity firm and started figuring out how many simple one-time purchases he could turn into monthly subscriptions

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

all other issues aside, I don’t find AI pictures of food appealing because every single one of them looks like a pile of deep-fried cockroach foreskins, and I am not especially interested in eating a pile of deep-fried cockroach foreskins

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Janel Comeau 🍁 @verybadllama.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

I can make sense of the fact that Cleopatra lived closer in time to the iPhone than the construction of the pyramids, but I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that Glee lasted long enough to cover Hozier’s “Take Me to Church”

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