iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

*showing my son how to connect jumper cables to a car battery Me: Now put the black cable on the battery post with a negative sign. Son: Okay, how am I doing? Me: You're grounded

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

When does Rod Serling come out to explain that this is just a parable about Hell?

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Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 02/12/2023

I’m tired of giving friendly advice. I’m going to start offering violent alternatives

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

"Don't worry. I know what I'm doing." --- People who don't know what they're doing

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Goose, seasonally spiced @augustagoose.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

My milkshake brings all the nerds to the yard

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🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒 @dadmoonrising.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I like the oingo but I don't care for the boingo

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Kellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 13/11/2024

Transition lenses that keep getting darker the longer someone is talking to you.

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

you’re my wonderwall, your honor

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Granite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

What’s most shocking about the whole Ed Sheeran thing is that firstly, there is an Ed sheeran tour, and secondly, people are willing to pay to go and see it.

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TwoSense @twosense.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

[clouds in my eye] Describe to me this Daniel you speak of.

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Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Save the bees, you assholes

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

In Japan, bakery schools are called doughjos...and send

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Granite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Nice post. Too bad it was plagiarised from the dictionary.

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Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

they begged me to lay low until after the midterms but writing raps about affordability isn’t just something I can turn off

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🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒 @dadmoonrising.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Prince: animals strike curious poses my dog:

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Kellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Kidnapper: get in the car! Me: shotgun!

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 24/09/2026

The people demand a Samsung dryer that plays a melancholy tune

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

People who really care about you, usually leave you in no doubt about that fact.

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

God, grant me the courage to change the things I can and incredible new powers to change the things I can't.

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I don’t wanna be an alpha. Bitch I’m tryna frolic

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Brown-eyed girl: Quiet down. Yes, I remember when we used to sing.

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Devi 🦇 @deviwestside.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

If you hang out at my apartment, you can eat whatever food you want except those Doritos. Those are my after sex Doritos

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Kids today will never understand the joy of not knowing things instantly.

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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

(guy inventing mayonnaise) yoooo i'm bored let's whisk some things

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

WHAT DO WE WANT? PUMPKIN SPICE WHEN DO WE WANT IT? WHEN IT IS SEASONALLY APPROPRIATE, BITCHES

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🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒 @dadmoonrising.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

weird and potentially dangerous if literal: baby shower

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Granite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I'm not a fan of overly large sandwiches. If it's too thick to comfortably take a bite out of, it has failed to fulfil its primary purpose of being a sandwich.

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Microdosing wikipedia by making shit up

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

FACT: an emperor penguin can be a surprising ally in a knife fight, provided the knife fight takes place in Antarctica and that there are no knives.

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🌘 Dad Moon Rising🌒 @dadmoonrising.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

might mess around and write the most popular song ever called All I want for Christmas Is you Choosing Texas

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 22/09/2026

nonsense the rhythm hasn’t gotten anyone since nigh on 35 years ago

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Paranormal Pandy 🎃 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

*opens a huge box of random cables that I've had for 5 years* Son, one day all this will be yours

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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Calgon take me to funky town

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Garth Marenghi's Catbus @catbus.phd · 21/09/2026

LOGGING ON

close up of an exasperated Dana Scully captioned

[ Disgusted Sigh ]

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Yes, I did back-to-back Star Wars / Star Trek posts. Just calling that out for those of you under the mistaken impression that I expect to get laid ever again.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Spock: Those unfamiliar with Vulcan physiology may misconstrue this hand gesture 🖖🏼 and thus fail to recognize the “Vulcan Shocker”

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

go away Mondays, nobody likes you

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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Friday-o Friday-o oh wherefore art thou Friday-o

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

There is no conversation about vampire matriarchs without mentioning Lily Munster.

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

[something good happens] ME: *already planning for the worst possible outcome* this is bullshit

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

The opposing coach at soccer this afternoon kept yelling at his team, "These guys are hungry, don't let them eat!" and I got ejected from the game for yelling back, "These kids are 10, childhood hunger is not a joke!"

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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Getting roasted by your kids is called getting youthanized

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