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Raquel Squelch

@raquelsquelch.bsky.social
8.6K followers 917 following 982 posts

if you don't get it there are a lot of great things in other places out there for you to get avi by mike miller more writing⤵️ bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yaw…

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Reposted by Raquel Squelch
Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
Crazy how People is the remaining publication that just goes for the jugular.
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Mitch McConnell Was Rolled into Ambulance with ‘No Urgency,’ According to Eyewitness Who Filmed Him Lying Still Under Blanket
A video reportedly depicting Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell, who has been hospitalized for nearly a month, being placed in an ambulance on a stretcher in mid-June has been published by CNN
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Raysident Evil @sireviscerate.myatproto.social · 11/07/2026
Feed me, Seymour
Vinyl figurine of Audrey II beside a vinyl figurine of Seymour, Fry's dog from that one Futurama episode.
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g.c. @lscrapl.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
one charming mf pig
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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
I just sneezed and an entire roll of sushi came out of my nose.
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Mara Wilson @marawilson.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
“Verify your age” motherfucker it’s on Wikipedia
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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
ME: oh man, just had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders SISYPHUS: [one eye twitching extremely violently]
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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 18/06/2026
It's always may cause "drowsiness" what about whimsy
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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
If anyone even knew the speed of sound do you really think we'd actually be using two stopwatches connected with a string to talk about who's gonna hang up first
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g.c. @lscrapl.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
now i don't drive
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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 18/06/2026
I could fill many books with the things I don’t know
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Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Friend: Why did you put a suit on your dog? Me: Because he's a setter. Friend: Don't say it. Me: A trend setter. Friend: I hate you.
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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
If you like the smell of truck stop bathrooms, you're gonna LOVE marriage!
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turbo jerry @turbojerry.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
this new deodorant scent got me introducing myself to myself
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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
It's too hot and sticky for anything but bare legs and vibing but my boss still rejected my last-minute PTO request
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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Advil should have as many flavors as Oreo
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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
“There was no autism in my day” my stepdad tells strangers his spider solitaire score
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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Now, a message from Rev. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof: Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. I can no longer drink, but don't let that stop you from having fun. I'll be okay. Go ahead and set off an M-80 over by the skunk farm. Play strip poker with the nuns. I'll be fine with a jigsaw puzzle. God bless.
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Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 18/06/2026
why are they called blue maga and not insane in the dem brain
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Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
don’t ask me to water your plants and then FREAK OUT when you see me naked on your Ring camera THIS IS HOW I LIKE TO WATER
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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Most of the women you know are one situationship and a few fun nun podcast clips on TikTok away from joining the Dominican sisterhood
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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Yes, there is a secret casino hidden within the casino, and it’s where you can bet with weird stuff like baby teeth and jars of moss.
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Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
in my previous life I was an Egyptian who used a sarcophagus as a canoe on the Nile as a practical joke and you could hear the laughs from Cairo to goddam Alexandria
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Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 18/06/2026
is that a hyperlink in your post bro? i will never click a "hyperlink". put that hyperlink away.
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Hae Ji Cho @haejicho.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
No, it's fine that you forgot my birthday. I will only remember it for the next 64 years
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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 18/06/2026
[buying our National Parks Pass] Me: Can we get one without Trump's face on it? Cashier: No, sorry. A lot of people ask that though.
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
CUSTOMER: “I still don’t understand.” PRODUCE CLERK: “You see sir, they are simultaneously grapes, and yet not grapes.” MANAGER: “Get back to work, Schrödinger.”
Supermarket sign reads "BLACK GRAPELESS GRAPES $1.48."
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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
midwife: congratulations you have a beautiful baby girl, do you have a name? me: yes my parents were very thorough
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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
I took an IQ test and I am a brick, but a brick with a good head for logic (and smashing).
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Woodrow Peel 🆗🆒 @woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
I'm on a bus from Atlantic City to New York City and the woman in the seat behind me has spent the entire ride talking about cheesecake. She's like a cheesecake savant. I can't remember a time before cheesecake.
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Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Dad: what’s the ONE thing I told you not to do Me: …get too artsy Dad: and WHAT did you do?! Me: …get too artsy Dad: GET TOO ARTSY!!!
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Opinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
my dad keeps saying Qatar like “quarter” and that is now the official pronounciation
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RM @dorsalstream.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
I think we all need to fill our REFLECTING pools a little more.
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Opinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
professional soccer fields are way too big, we’re all thinking it
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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
It’s almost the weekend. Unclench your vagina dentata.
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BeTheCookie @bethecookie.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Let’s not argue about who did what. I’d rather argue about where was how.
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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 18/06/2026
now that’s what I call surrender
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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
[fully clothed, scissoring with a homie] hey brother where do you think we go when we die
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Boo lettuce @lettuce.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
My brain: ...and that's what a rose looks and smells like! 😀 Me: bitch you're encased in inky blackness
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human aaron @humanaaron.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
“You can just put that on my Always Dirty Counter” *smile, turn to camera and hold* vo:from the makers of Junk Drawer
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☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️ @captantagonist.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Be someone's background character, every good story needs some.
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Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 19/06/2026
i have a friend from high school i see every 5 years and in the interim i send him a random text every 6 months and he doesn't respond and next time we get together i find out he changed his phone number and it's the perfect relationship
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Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 19/06/2026
getting off the phone with mom and accidentally said i love you instead of goodbye and was just like, you know what imma let you have this one old woman, you win this round
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Flavius Valens @flaviusvalens.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
I'm going to be dyeing some of these Cure shirts by Copycat Video Press. Get a dyed version for 85 shipped. Printed on Comfort Colors 'Ivory' (off white). Available in Small through 2XL while supplies last. DM if you want one 🫡
A red/green/yellow Cure graphic t-shirt.
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👻👹 boo-rit 👹👻 @britculpsapp.bsky.social · 24/09/2025
from an email sent by one of our addiction med clinic providers the other week: without sounding like a DARE commercial, my main thing regarding the unregulated market such as this is we should always be able to know what we are putting in our bodies because of consent & bodily autonomy standards
Just today I saw one patient stable on 18mg buprenorphine for 5+ years who was advertised a 7-OH product on Facebook, tried it and liked the effect, and noticed a few weeks after he was taking it that he had opioid like withdrawals when he stopped using it. He was unable to stop on his own, realized it was an opioid, and reached out for help. I find it alarming that the 18mg of bup didn't do more to block the effects of the 7-OH. Another patient I saw today started 7-OH after seeing it marketed in a nutrition/supplement store, escalated use quickly and after 3 months of use she is needing to take at $30 tab every 2-3 hours, around the clock, day and night, to stave off withdrawals. 

Both the marketing and the potency of the product are noteworthy especially in the setting of it being legal, unregulated, and not monitored in drug screens.
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🎃HalloDeeny🎃 they/them @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
Its pride month so everything is 50% off Commissions are 175$ usd Pfps are 75$usd Comics are 50$usd a page And if youre feeling spicy, patreon is 50% off with code DEENY50 for the Dark Deeny Deluxe edition tier Dm me for enquiries
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turbo jerry @turbojerry.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
just me & my hemorrhoid against the world
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
She was effervescent, like an industrial acid spill.
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brent @murrman5.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
Using A.I. to create an episode of me on the family feud in case the haters start fact checking my obituary
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Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 15/06/2026
🎵 oh candida just take my hand and i'll lead ya i promise life will be sweeter 'cause it said so in my dreams 🎵 hi i'm tony orlando and i'm here to tell you about new and improved canesten
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