iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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dave @gloomfather.bsky.social · 25/05/2026

(a new object is placed in my enclosure) damn new object just dropped (I glance disparagingly over at yesterday's object) lol y'all still thinking about this huh

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Josephine beckbook.com Riesman @josie.zone · 18h

September 30 // October 1

achewood's ray smuckles admonishes little nephew for dressing as a goth: "Listen here now, little mister! You aint' gettin NO pizza so long as you walkin' around lookin' like Gay KISS!"

Ray Smuckles in goth garb presses a button on his skull codpiece, which makes it utter the words "BELA... LUGOSI'S... DEAD..."

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rare body oils @rarebodyoils.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

now sensing and detecting all ancient rules. now following ancient rules...ancient rules followed. now compliant with the ancients

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jims @jims.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

if i may doff the facade of whimsy for a moment, it's time to get painfully sincere; i've been boiling my evening oats in dr pepper for months now. it's awful. it's disgusting and i don't even eat them, but if i don't do this then no one else will and the world will lose something unique forever.

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Boo lettuce @lettuce.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Despite differences in politics or creed, we can all agree that this is one hell of a bird

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Grobian Syboe @grobiansyboe.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I was very touched to receive a birthday card from OPEC

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Boo lettuce @lettuce.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Me: Sometimes when a box of cereal is almost empty I'll mix it with a different cereal to make a full bowl and I don't even mind very much Interviewer: I guess that's a strength

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Ryan Burkett @ryanburkett.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Doing the lord’s work (I caused a drought)

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Villein 🔒 @villein.bsky.social · 31/03/2025

the ups guy let me take a random box off the truck for being good

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Boo lettuce @lettuce.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

[me watching an otherwise terrible movie that accurately shows what the moon looks like in the sky] This movie is great

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Tarlton @tarlton.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Paul McCartney in the shining: woke up got outta bed, hugged a ghoul and bonked me head

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Zombie Uncle @thesleeperssleep.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Currently inundated with monarchs

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BayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Tour guide: If only we could understand the whale song’s lyrics, perhaps we’d be better stewards of this earth. What would these wise guardians say to us? Whale: Scribble-dee-doo, scrubby-dub-dub, ocean is my little bath tub Scrubby-dub-doo, scribble-dee-dee, boat is rubber ducky to me Whee!

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georgia-lux @georgialux.bsky.social · 22/09/2023

HIM: you better not be wearing Robes for Pythagoras when i get there MY SILLY ASS:

an old-timey catalog page of various "Robes For Pythagoras"

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Katie Shook @katieshook.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Brandi do you know about how he drinks?

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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Cleaning my son's room and found his bluesky account open on his school laptop to a draft that said "smoking that shit that made dolores give claibirth". We do not know what it means, but we are deactivating Xfinity high speed home internet effective 8 am Monday morning.

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Travis comma bitch @prof-hinkley.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

*buying my car a tank of premium gas for its birthday*

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catren parker dot come @jon-snow-420.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

genie: i grant you one wish, you may change any one thing about your self me: wow! could i cure all my mental illnesses? genie: oh yes. is that your wish? me: *thinking about how i hear borat voice go WEE WAH WEE WAH when i see something cool* uh

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

WELL THIS CAN’T BE NORMAL- I think as I pee out a second kernel of corn

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Mary Gillis @marygillis.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I'm going all out for autumn this year. I bought some cinnamon teas and hand soap, got a bunch of autumnal books from the library, and I'm saving so much energy by no longer producing chlorophyll, the absence of which will soon reveal my red, yellow, and orange pigments.

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Azure Emerald Empire @azureemeraldempire.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

You have a new message on MyNemesis. Subject: You thought you could hide from me?

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Boo lettuce @lettuce.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

A dog in Rhode Island is upset because of my shoe

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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

calling in sick to the kickflip factory and confusing everyone as to whether i'm coming in or not

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Boo lettuce @lettuce.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Sharing some cheesecake photos 😘

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Kevin Snyder @guns.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Just laid a clutch of five beautiful golden eggs if you even care

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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

You gotta give it up to Earth Wind & Fire for not even bothering to add a Water guy. They were just like it’s fine

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Blue sky nice ghost @rajandelman.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Do you ever read a series of words

Includes exclusive Hanks for our troops pumpkin brulee

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Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Christening a baby is nothing like christening a ship. I know that now. Once again I can only apologise.

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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 09/06/2025

Teaching the new intern all the keyboard shortcuts except for one that I can use to defeat him if he ever chooses to betray me

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blood @thuleanperspective.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Me saving something in my drafts: this will come in handy later! Me looking through my drafts later: damn I should have gone to the hospital

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brent @murrman5.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

[responding to trash talk during pick up basketball game] my wife has a bad back so I doubt that happened

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Ok that's 3 minutes, keep moving, got a lot of sad teens here.

Just 3 minutes with a mini horse or donkey improves teens' moods, study says

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

How many people do you have to eat before you’re considered a cannibal? Just curious

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knth @paintedeel.bsky.social · 20/09/2023

*noticeably drunk Kool-Aid man turns down the music at a party* i want everyone to piss inside me

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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

In light of everything that’s going on

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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

The difference between a catacomb and a basement is skulls. Catacomb without skulls? Thats a basement. Skulls in your basement? Thats a catacomb. Tired of having to keep saying this

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Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

*folksy expression of surprise voice* well wrap me in swaddling clothes and lay me in a manger!

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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Switched on the kitchen light and could've sworn I saw a horse scurry under the fridge

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brent @murrman5.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

wife: I just think it’s odd that you take two kickboxing lessons and now really wanna go to the zoo

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donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

I respect my haters and share their concerns

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Boo lettuce @lettuce.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Haven't seen many pollinators in my yard this year so this had me giddy

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Boo lettuce @lettuce.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

I've invented Tennis 2. It's the same but scoring is reworded (games are first to 4 points but ahead by 2)

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✨trash✨ @dollarpbr.gay · 26/08/2024

i think “wet bitch” is one of the funniest insults because it implies a hydration-based hierarchy within bitchdom

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Ben Rosen @benrosen.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

me, building The Death Machine: i’m worried this machine is going to kill us all you: oh my god you need to- me: well, i better get back to building The Death Machine

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