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The Shaddup Mapes

@fuzzycorndog.bsky.social
97 followers 268 following 34 posts
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
This day in history. 1216. King John lost the crown jewels when his baggage train was swamped by a rising tide in The Wash. "We wants them, we needs them. Must have the preciouses," he was heard moaning afterwords. He developed a fever and died a few days later but some say he jumped into a volcano.
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
“Where’s Chris?” “I don’t know.” “You told him three o’clock?” “Like ten times.” “Fucking drummers.” “Should we wait a little longer?” “Screw him, take the picture.”
Four squirrels posed together in what looks like a band picture.
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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
And I would eat 500 tortillas And I would eat 500 more Just to be the body they said interesting things about at the morgue
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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
No Country Bear Jamboree for Old Men
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Microplastics Sommelier @leastactionhero.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
tilly norwood vs fred flintstone made up: ✅ / ✅ has a job: ❌ / ✅ catchphrase: ❌ / ✅ pet dinosaur: ❌ / ✅ is a virgin: ✅ / ❌
Tilly Norwood, an inhuman gollum shaped like a perky brunette Fred Flintstone
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
If you all can't handle me at my unemployed, you don't deserve me at my will shower again someday.
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Rex Huppke @rexhuppke.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I bet you say that to all the sofas
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Tim Carvell @timcarvell.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Rough week to tell people that your application to join the FBI finally went through.
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Eric Columbus @ericcolumbus.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
GEFILTE PHISHING
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Raysident Evil @sireviscerate.myatproto.social · 14/09/2026
(Captain Ahab getting frustrated because the roasted potatoes on his plate keep rolling away from his fork, but realizing it's not as subjectively upsetting to him as Moby Dick): from heck's heart I poke at thee
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Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer · 16/07/2026
every time trump is president you gotta wash your groceries
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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
In Iceland it's called Beef Björky
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Adam Weinstein @adamweinstein.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Hear me out: The John F. Kennedy and Dolly Parton Memorial Center for the Performing Arts
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ThemBOO! @thembo.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Odyssey looks fine but I think people have a point in criticizing Nolan for not including the story of Bophades
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Bucky Underbelly (Robb) @buckyunderbelly.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
The rare Nicknoltus Mugshottus.
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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham won’t see your posts mocking their deaths, but the rest of us will, so keep them coming
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anti-zionist dog 🇵🇸 @puppydoggaming.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
i will say lindsey graham being asked by a reporter how mitch mcconnell is doing, answering “i don’t know, i’m going to check right now” and then dying is hilarious
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🍄 @snakeroot.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
What if god was built Ford tough Just a truck for hauling stuff
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vineyille @vineyille.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
I've used the "save post" functionality on this website exactly once
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The Shaddup Mapes @fuzzycorndog.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
I’m at a Buffalo Wild Wings. It’s a slow Sunday, and the staff is VERY invested in a competitive chess game on ESPN. Not gonna lie: it warms my heart
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Minions director Pierre Coffin has confirmed that as mid-level functionaries in the Nazi regime the minions were only following orders
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
“This fuckin’ guy.”
An angry-looking cat sits in the foreground, and a sorta goofy-looking German Shepherd sits in the background, "smiling."
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CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
New cat in charge
A street poster for The Witness newspaper, saying:
'Mew
Premier
Takes
Office"

(The poster is from a few years ago, but The Witness is also elderly: it's South Africa's oldest continuously published newspaper, and it's been going nearly 200 years.)
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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 11/07/2023
me: I just dropped some acid her: YOU DID WHAT me: don’t go in the garage her: oh haha me: it’s full of neon baby pandas, and they only speak German
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
This day in history. 1937. In the Philippines women voted in a plebiscite to determine if they would receive the right to vote. 91 percent voted in favour, and 9 percent voted against voting and irony awareness.
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Tyler, from the Internet (Haunted) @tylerfromtheinternet.com · 24/04/2026
thank u orcas thank u elephants
analis morissette
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saxton @ghost-waltz.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
girls want one thing, and it's to be this weird little dude absolutely lost in the sauce
a mouse (?) eating cherries (?) and dyed purple around the mouth
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Bill Amend @billamend.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…
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ceej @ceej.online · 14/04/2026
the pope just followed me into an alley and kicked my ass for shoplifting
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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
Still think it's fun to watch Fraiser? Well don't forget that one of the main cast members is a raging conservative. See here he was at Jan 6
Eddie sitting on the podium of the senate chambers during the Jan 6 riot he is superimposed over the qanon shaman
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Wes Miller @getwired.com · 10/04/2026
Enhance. Enhance. Enhance. Enhance.
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maura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
I don’t eat veal but I’m not going to lie, I will devour a plate of tater tots, if potatoes didn’t want me to eat their children why did they make them so crispy.
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Kristi Yamaguccimane @wapplehouse.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
Claude this, Claude that, what if I Claude your fucking eyes out stop talking to me
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Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
Reason number 42 NASA would fire me: coming out of loss of signal I would be screaming about aliens eating the crew and then cut the comms.
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Sean T. Collins @seantcollins.com · 20/09/2023
JESUS CHRIST (ninth hour): Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? GOOFY (present at the crucifixion): Gawrsh
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Greeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
Of all the harmful things visitors feed our goats, it's the lies that hurt the most.
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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
JD Vance is releasing a book about his conversion to Catholicism; in related news, I will also be releasing a book about JD Vance, titled Ouch Said the Couch
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Asha Rangappa @asharangappa.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
media.tenor.com
a child is pushing a blue tricycle down a hallway
ALT: a child is pushing a blue tricycle down a hallway
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
First, the good news. The bathwater has been disposed of.
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FR🎃 V🎃 @frovo.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
INVENTOR OF TRIX CEREAL: fuck rabbits
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
CAN YOU SECURE THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ?????
Trump yelling at that kid pushing a lawn mower
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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
It’s not a plot hole that Elmo has been 3 years old for 50 years. He was bitten by The Count, willingly. Elmo asked for the Dark Gift
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alexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
watching this for maybe the 30th time
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"Spooky" Gene Rayburn @generayburn.com · 09/03/2026
I have created a diorama of the Partridge family attacking the Brady Bunch family. My life is very boring.
Figurines of Brady Bunch and Partridge Family fighting each other
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 09/03/2026
90s Captain Ahab: Thar she blows. Thar she blows again.
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Gillian Branstetter @gbbranstetter.bsky.social · 09/03/2026
It's 2004. The US is mired in a pointless war in the Middle East. There's a new Nintendo handheld. Taking Back Sunday is headlining the Warped Tour. It's 2026. The US is mired in a pointless war in the Middle East. There's a new Nintendo handheld. Taking Back Sunday is headlining the Warped Tour.
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Peter @notalawyer.bsky.social · 10/08/2025
usually if you ask experts why an empire fell they’ll say it’s nuanced and multifaceted, so i think it’s kind of cool that with America future historians will get to just say like “oh they took the idiot train to moronsville”
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