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Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen

@theloniouscrunk.bsky.social
113 followers 576 following 110 posts

live every week like it's fat bear week

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Reposted by Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen
Tom McAllister @tmcallister.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
used AI to personalize my Mario Kart. No more weird vehicles, we're all in Subarus now. The courses are the streets of my youth, and instead of shells we're picking up Gobstoppers. Yoshi looks like my dog. All the rest of the characters are sexy ladies who are there because they really want to be
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goof_off_artiste746393@yahoomail.com @goofoffartiste.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
The main project of the US now is a line-item vindication of the most histrionic and paranoid stuff ever said by Jello Biafra
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Scott Shapiro @scottjshapiro.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
All news about AI solving hard math problems looks like this: “Curtains for Zoosha’s conjecture? K-smog and Batboy proved factoring a noncommutative grunt.”
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Jean-Michel Connard @torriangray.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Working on a kickstarter to send Stephen A Smith and Skip Bayless to a deserted island where they have to fend for themselves. Accepting suggestions for additional contestants. Losers will be drone striked. The winner will be drone striked.
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Drew Harwell @drewharwell.com · 06/10/2026
Everyone at @wired.com involved with this illustration needs Jesus www.wired.com/story/icann-...
wired.com
The Internet Runs on Cats and Porn. It’s About to Get Cattier and Pornier
Soon, hundreds of new top-level domains, including .meow and .fart, could be added to the internet. WIRED goes inside the backroom shenanigans of ICANN, the organization at the helm.
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Heat (1995) @heatfilm1995.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Because she got a GREAT ASS!
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James @james.tarnation.lol · 05/10/2026
[arm full of hotdogs] is that your baby? does it want a hotdog?
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Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen @theloniouscrunk.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
any media organization that uses the word "quietly" in a headline should be forced to explain what a loud version of the same activity would look like
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J. Michael Mull @jmichaelmull.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
back in 2012, you could tweet 'Does Grimace Fuck?' and you'd get a coffee table book at Urban Outfitters, a first-look deal at CBS, and the keynote spot at SXSW on the future of storytelling by Friday
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Me: Bluesky is less annoying today Wife: Are you posting less
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User with this avatar just got blocked @avijustgotblocked.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
An account with this avatar was just blocked.
Avatar of an account that was just blocked.
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USER WAS BLOCKED FOR THIS POST @blockedforthispost.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Will Stancil isn’t going to fuck you
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leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
CORRECTION: "Choosin' Texas" by Ella Langley is not the longest-running #1 hit in history. It is still "Oh! Mother May I Have A Lolly" by The Sweetum Boys, legally the only song that existed from the years 1912 to 1916.
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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
He was probably some normal guy from the Black Lagoon and Creature was a mean nickname.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
But they were all of them deceived, for another Duran was made
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Van Wendigo @vanweezer.myatproto.social · 06/08/2026
Upton Sinclair making the Jungle 2 about the dick sucking factory:
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
People who say Bethany Mandel can't be forgiven because they fingerblasted a muppet are the same people who simp for these folks.
FreakazoidWarren Buffett
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User with this avatar just got blocked @avijustgotblocked.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
An account with this avatar was just blocked.
Avatar of an account that was just blocked.
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
my posts are too powerful and that explains why so many people look away from them
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Steam Release Bot @steamreleasebot.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Crack Smoking Simulator store.steampowered.com/app/5131340 $4.99 Crack Smoking Simulator is a game where you can simulate smoking crack. A silly retro-styled point-and-click game with one goal - smoke as much crack as you want.
steam header image
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
it’s fine to be skeptical of these things. i was a skeptic myself until recently. but i think fear is at the root of this skepticism, a fear of its power. people are simply not ready for what’s coming. it is powerful, it is alive, and it is quite possibly god
batman pez dispenser
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alexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
(mamas and papas voice) all the news is bad (all the news is bad)
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victoria scott @victoriascott.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
I am sympathetic to Silicon Valley guys ascribing human-level consciousness to AI because if I had to talk to people from Silicon Valley all day I’d probably have a real low bar for sentience too
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User with this avatar just got blocked @avijustgotblocked.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
An account with this avatar was just blocked.
Avatar of an account that was just blocked.
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hammancheez but spooky @hammancheez.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Worshipping this nugget like the apes around the black monolith
An ur nugget composed of 3 nuggets in one glob of batter
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Patrick Monahan @pattymo.com · 04/09/2026
One of the more difficult ones of these I’ve seen (both the content and Guitar Hero-ing to it)
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Asses are fucking disgusting and won't exist under populism
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Chat Pile @chatpileband.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Our new album, Who Loves the Sun, is out today. Just wanna say thanks to everyone who has or plans to buy the record, see us live, say nice things online, wear merch, or ride for us in any way. It means the world to us and has literally altered our lives (positive)
Raygun Busch of the band Chat Pile goofing around in our practice space, pretending to have been buried alive in vinyl copies of Who Loves the Sun
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Kill Tim Faust 💀 @tbone.malware-virus.biz · 04/09/2026
There appears to have been some sort of industrial accident at the subtext factory
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
If I was in a Cyberpunk dystopia I’d like to think I’d be doing exciting street samurai stuff for an evil corporation but I’d probably still be working for Mott’s Applesauce doing work on applesauce but in a leather jacket
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Jason @longwall26.bsky.social · 09/01/2025
For sale: baby jetpack. Worn once
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jab lung @mobute.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
It appears that some of the images in the president's Truth Social post declaring "I'm getting completely destroyed at Fire Island" may be AI generated.
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A Bloody Woodstake @tenderbeefsteak.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
My SIL is teaching remotely at a school in southern Illinois and I was not ready to learn about the mascot
A mascot painted on the wall of a high school. It says  “cornjerkers” and the mascot is an awful ear of corn with brown hair holding a football and kicking, I want to say, a soccer ball.
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Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 31/08/2026
benadryl at night, hat man's delight
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Elle @elleisanisland.bsky.social · 06/11/2025
lol so baby echidnas (puggles) look like a chicken thigh that came to life
Small shapeless mammal with thick pale skin Small shapeless mammal with thick pale skin
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wint @dril.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
a prominent member of Film Twitter told me to "Suck his dick" just because i said that my favorite movie is the tv show Scrubs
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Albasoup @albasoup.itch.io · 29/08/2026
Was walking past this building and through the window saw this backrooms-ass room, so I accidentally took the coolest picture ever due to the window's reflection
A backrooms-ass room with a twilight sky and trees seemingly imposed over it in a dream-like fashion (it's the reflection of the window)
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Dropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 05/07/2023
hyperbole kills more people annually than all other literary techniques combined
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Bootlicking is the weaponization of economics
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👻Skulliam🎃Boo-tler🍂Yikes🕷️ @yeets.biz · 18/03/2026
remember when jose canseco made his own cryptocurrency and called it "cansecoin" and not "jose coinseco"? what a terrible fucking decision on multiple levels
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Shitty Werbenjagermanjensen @theloniouscrunk.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
and the headphones suck!
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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
why do coworkers keep blaming me for everything bad that happens at work, I'm barely ever there
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Spiteful Matt @realmfresh.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Person who has seen 100 movies: The best movie ever made is Citizen Kane Person who has seen 1000 movies: The best movie ever made is 8 1/2 Person who has seen 10,000 movies: The best movie ever made is Crank 2: High Voltage
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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Microdosing being a horse by asking for a water I’m not gonna drink
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
i don’t understand why i have to return to the bog every night if i’m just going to have to rise from it again tomorrow
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ceej @ceej.online · 16/08/2026
I actually do have skin in the game. I’m playing skinball
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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
sabbatical should mean a 'sabbath that's radical' but it really just means 'nervous breakdown for whomever could afford it'.
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ceej @ceej.online · 15/08/2026
friends are encouraging me to use depop but there’s something about an endless scroll of personless crumpled clothing that brings to mind identification of a mass grave
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