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It's TheGirlPie!

@thegirlpie.bsky.social
657 followers 104 following 4.2K posts

Caustic encourager, busy procrastinator, natural blonde, and grateful you're so smart/funny/attractive~ (since '08 and still!)

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Kellaweena @kellalena.bsky.social · 4h
Praying over leftovers like “hi Lord, it’s me and this split pea soup again”
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Scott Millen @thescottmillen.bsky.social · 4h
I'm retraining for a new position at work, because my injuries preclude me ever returning to my past role. It is more difficult than I wish it were, challenging in myriad unexpected ways. I hope I have the spoonfuls for this. I feel exposed & weak, but it'll pass. I just keep on not dieing.
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Kellaweena @kellalena.bsky.social · 2h
Holding it all together with stuff from my junk drawer
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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 1h
The airport is the 9th circle of hell.
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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 34m
Boss: What do you think? Me: I think we need to get out in front of this. If we're not on top of it, it will roll over us and we'll never get out from under it. Can everybody get behind that? Boss: You're not allowed to talk in meetings anymore.
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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 9h
Crossed the road in a chicken costume. Much less clarifying than I had hoped.
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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 8h
Why are all the 35 year old male protagonists in these xmas movies widowed. I mean what is happening to these women.
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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 16h
Take it from me: straight jackets are not slimming.
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Kellaweena @kellalena.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Well, if it isn’t my “best if used by” date
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Autumnal Amber @amberkeating.net · 11/10/2026
An entire thread of #GoodNews from the last week! I understand that hope can feel dangerous in a world that keeps smacking you around, but giving in to cynicism is even worse.
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Mignon Fogarty @grammargirl.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
I filled out my ballot today and found this site helpful for figuring out all the California propositions: www.openballot.app/elections/ca... #BeAVoter
openballot.app
Compare voter guides for the November 3rd election
Compare voter guides for the November 3rd election
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
The loaf is the laziest of all food formations.
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Apart from those ways in which I personally benefit, I wish life were fair.
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Mark Harris @markharris.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
My aunt once walked by a room full of my uncles and cousins shouting at the TV during a football game, and I was too little to understand so I asked her why they were all yelling and she said, tiredly, "They're not angry, they just like to watch their stories." Honestly I think it set me on a path.
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Sentient Bunnysuit @sentientbunnysuit.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
That's not a game changer that's a game stayer the samer.
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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
We've bought her two very nice cat beds but, unless it's a dirty old cardboard box, she won't have anything to do with it. She finally let us put a towel in it.
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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
To the people spreading batshit crazy conspiracy theories: Are actual current events not batshit crazy enough to please you?
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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
The good cholesterol in my body always says please and thank you and does all its chores.
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
It was clear from the reverend's sermon he just saw “Coyote vs. Acme.”
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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Based on Dog’s constant begging for food, I’m going to assume he had to be coaxed out of his momma with a charcuterie board.
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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Ruin a book by adding a word: Dune Buggy
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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Ruin a book by adding a word: The Bell Jar Jar
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Carole Boo @caroleu.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Gray Sundays exist in their own pocket dimension completely separate from daily reality. So why tf am I balancing my accounts and paying bills when I should be waltzing on silver mist with the Hyades? Which actually sounds exhausting, and this needs to be done, so never mind. Forget I said anything.
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Josh Mankiewicz @joshmankiewicz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
“Was it comfortable? No.” lamaterial.com/p/car-sex-in...
lamaterial.com
Does Anyone Make Out in Cars Anymore?
Dodging security guards, Ring cameras, and neighborhood WhatsApp chains, I tested parking lots, overlooks, garages and side streets to see if L.A. car sex is dead.
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Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Y'all don't even know how hard I laughed when the weekly newspaper had to print a formal clarification one year that the photo of a house fire published the prior week which contained Big Foot in the yard of the house on the right, was actually a large Halloween prop & not actually Big Foot.
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cjdcat @cjdcat.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Doing a cow study.
Pencil sketch of three cows laying down in a field, some suggestion of landscape in the background. A bit of burnt sienna and umber has been put down to establish a midtone.
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Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
See, you think I'm quirky but when I tell you about my neighbors, y'all become "Actually, she seems kind of normal" pretty fast. *grin*
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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
No need for Letterboxd when I can post my thoughts here for the perusal of up to three people.
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It's TheGirlPie! @thegirlpie.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
For decades I’ve called my Steady various nicknames as needed: Counselor, Drummer Boy, Loveboy, and mostly Boypie. He’s called me Lovegirl and mostly Girlpie. But I didn’t think it through when I came online in ‘06, so you can call me GP.
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
“Cult leader” is what the press has named me. To my disciples I’m plain old The One Who Sees.
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mike @staykinduniverse.swifties.social · 11/10/2026
sundays are good for naps
a peace sign saying if you love someone let them nap
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Needless To Say @needlesstosay.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Kate Mundie
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Danny @mardigroan.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
It's a different dental hygienist and now a different dentist. I guess that I am just loyal to the building?
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PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
I DO SOME OF MY BEST WORK ON THREE HOURS OF SLEEP, OKAY? NOW GET ON THE GURNEY!
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crumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
The heart clambers along.
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Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 10/10/2026
not to be controversial but i think we should stop electing dangerously stupid people sorry if this offends
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Amy Vants to Suck Your Blood 🩸 @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
my favorite part of automobile maintenance is when the car guy brings me a part and says, “look how messed up this is” and I’m like “yeah, totally” and we both know i have no idea what they’re showing me and we both know i’m gonna pay for a new whizdongle anyway
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Louisa @louisathelast.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Now this may sound harsh, but I do think that if you design a piece of furniture that requires the use of an Allen wrench to assemble, but place the bolts in such a way that I cannot fully turn the Allen wrench, I should get to drop a cartoon anvil on you
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Memento (spooky) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
for some reason my son refuses to say "tonight" and instead says "this night" and it sounds so proper and pretty dramatic
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Keeping a journal of things I’ve lost interest in. Or I was.
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It's TheGirlPie! @thegirlpie.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Fran Leibovitz is my spirit animal.
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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Never grocery shop hungry. I went in for toothpaste and came out prepared to cater a wedding.
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Marly @verbsrproudest.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
(I come from a long line of people who accidentally injured those who jump-scared them.)
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aric @aghastronaut.com · 30/09/2026
Someone is replacing my body with a slightly worse body each night while I sleep.
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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Shrieking: it’s not just for Halloween anymore.
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Headlines used to be like "Lawmakers Spar Over Budget Concerns" Now they're all "Powerful Wizards Warn of a World-Ending Magic, Mad King Unconvinced"
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Matty @bestestname.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
I am "I don't know if I have any pictures of myself at that age" years old
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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
No YOU do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around
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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Hold up: can't you just, like, 𝘣𝘶𝘺 Klondike Bars?
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Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
“And in her 54th year she will develop a trick knee,” Maleficent declared at my royal christening.
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